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Post by BetsyMarie on Sept 30, 2010 15:31:03 GMT -5
I just got back from taking a carload to the local goodwill. And as usual I felt the anxiety of giving away 'good stuff' that I just wanted to keep, or I might have made a few dollars from at a yard sale. Even if I had sold it, I still would have felt some sort of separation anxiety. It had been last winter since I took the last batch over, and this time was more difficult than before. Perhaps because I am now getting to the 'more difficult to part with' things, or perhaps it had just been too long since donating. Either way, I remembered what they keep saying on the various Hoarder programs - stay with the negative feelings - they won't harm you, they are necessary to the process, and they will pass. So I did. This time I gave away a really nice bicycle, and 4 boxes of 'goods', and a small ice chest. In the boxes among other things were 2 things I really wanted to keep, but had others similar - a stainless steel dutch oven, and an enameled cast-iron roasting pan (heavy thing). It hurt to let these things go. But it didnt hurt as much as living in a house in constant gridlock. So I stayed with the discomfort and left the stuff behind when I pulled away.... As I was driving away to the coincidental applause on the 'in concert' CD playing, I told myself 'Let them be someone else's treasure.' That's an expresssion I came up with when passing by 'good' things at yard sales. It helped too. Last winter I took several carloads to goodwill - and I haven't really missed one item. I won't miss any of this stuff either, but it sure is difficult getting rid of stuff that I think has value... And the equal of "two more cans' worth" is now gone....  &  |
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Post by gottaproblem on Sept 30, 2010 15:39:01 GMT -5
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Post by dtesposito on Sept 30, 2010 15:50:33 GMT -5
In a few weeks you'll forget all about the stuff you donated.
I used to box things up that I couldn't bear to part with. Five years later I'd open the boxes, and I couldn't even remember most of the stuff in there. Then I would think, why didn't I just get rid of it five years ago, I certainly haven't used it during this time, and I would never even have remembered I ever had it!!
So that's helping me get rid of stuff now. I know that once it's gone I'll forget all about it.
Diane
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Post by blossoming on Sept 30, 2010 15:53:37 GMT -5
i was interested in the part where you said maybe it had been too long. i wonder could you drop off like even one thing a week or something? to sort of build up a resistance to the anxiety? or even if it wasn't donating, have it leave your house somehow through another means?
when i have trouble communicating with people, i give myself points for the various forms of communication, from snail mail, to email, to phone calls, to saying hi to a neighbor, to inviting someone over, etc.
so, it's not always the same type of activity, but i have to equal a certain amount each day. so i was thinking re the anxiety adn the donation if you could do something similar by the week?
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Post by shopgirl on Sept 30, 2010 16:39:16 GMT -5
Any angst I might feel is mitigated by the enthusiastic "Thank you" I receive from the Goodwill man and the Library lady. They are genuinely grateful to receive my donations, and I am heartened by the thought of contributing to these worthwhile organizations. (I cannot afford to donate cash, but they can raise money by selling my stuff.)
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Post by Meme on Sept 30, 2010 18:00:49 GMT -5
it is the letting go which results in anxiety as we have conditioned ourselves into keeping the _______________ for what ever reason our minds tell us--
but once I was able to term it into \\caring and sharing\\ I started to feel good--- even with the anxiety-
I know that some one else will get joy even if it is another hoarder--- this is often the place where I shopped and ended getting too much stuff...
I got the joy and now I am passing it on......
hugs from Meme
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Post by glowworm on Sept 30, 2010 20:48:17 GMT -5
Congratulations on getting rid of 2 more cans' worth!
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Post by BetsyMarie on Sept 30, 2010 20:51:07 GMT -5
Thanks everyone.  Heck,  , I had even forgotten what was in the boxes since I put the stuff in the boxes earlier this week. I need to remind myself that forgetting again will happen. This is not my first decluttering effort. I got much of the house clean a few years ago then slipped back to restart again last winter. But many things I didnt want to deal with back then, or couldnt part with, I kept. And yet the past few years I have used very few of them, and they still are problem items. A few left the house today. This time around, if it's an item I've previously had trouble deciding about, it's very high on the 'get rid of' list. Tossing does get easier the more you do. Making scheduled drops might be too regimented for me. I could be more mindful of making drops more often - I do pass the donate site a few times every month. I probably should just keep a goodwill box going and not wait for a carfull. I like this idea very much. When I give 'stuff' to the organization of my choice, and know they will make $$$ from it, and I feel good, but not good enough to prevent angst. But when I think of the individuals buying what I have given at a reasonable price, and that they may feel joy about getting it, that pleases me very much. I can think of the kid riding the nice bike, or the homemaker cooking in the stainless dutch oven. It makes me pleased to have passed something good along to someone who might regularly use it - instead of it just sitting lifeless in some box on my floor. Thanks for the idea. |
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