zeeky
New Member
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 38
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Post by zeeky on Aug 18, 2008 9:14:15 GMT -5
I thought it was only me.  Two years & a few months ago, I finally got my own apartment. (FYI: I live in San Francisco, where housing is so insanely expensive that it's quite common for people to share housing with one or more roommates for their entire adult lives). I left home when I was 15 years old, & for more than two decades I had lived with other people ... & while I've never been an especially tidy person, in any roommate situation, I have always adjusted to whatever "neatness level" the household in question demanded ... but when I moved into my own place, I discovered (much to my horror!) that more often than not I simply CANNOT take out my garbage ... & then, because the garbage is in the way, I can't get to the sink so the dishes pile up & get moldy & everything starts to smell just awful so I'll burn incense & spray lysol on the garbage & dishes & eventually I'll just stop going into the kitchen altogether ... while in the other room, I'll be painting or something (I do multimedia art) but rather than throwing trash in the wastebasket, I'll find myself just throwing it on the floor ... & while I sincerely HATE living this way, it seems to fulfill some deep-rooted, TERRIBLE need -- some demonic THING in me because I don't stop doing it & even when I break down & hire someone (I'm not wealthy, so I can't do it often) to at least clean my kitchen so I can at least prepare food in it again, I somehow manage to completely wreck it again within a few days -- although how on earth I can dirty ALL of my dishes in only a few days I have no idea!! (I work in an office all day during the week, & I swear to god I don't eat THAT much!) Anyway, I stumbled across this site just yesterday, & I'm feeling hopeful for the first time in two years. Thanks for listening. |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Aug 18, 2008 11:07:41 GMT -5
Welcome zeeky!! You have found a great place for support! There are lots of great people here with wonderful advice.
I have a suggestion. Why not use paper plates, cups, disposable silverware for a time until you get things in your kitchen under control? I have 2 sons and I find these things helpful, especially the paper plates.
Glad you are here!
Annie
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nonimouse
New Member
Joined: July 2008
Posts: 41
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Post by nonimouse on Aug 18, 2008 11:32:00 GMT -5
You're definitely not the only one!
Since joining this forum, I've started cleaning up my place. What has worked for me is to just try to do a small amount at a time. (baby steps!) The place didn't get messy overnight and it won't be cleaned up in that amount of time either. If you just try to do even a small amount each day, you'll start to see progress pretty quickly.
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Post by crazycatlady on Aug 18, 2008 12:53:49 GMT -5
Welcome, Zeeky! I was relieved to find a place where people struggled with the same things as I do, and where so many people have great ideas on how to do better! I'm glad that you have found us, too! 
One tip I heard was to box up or give away all except the bare minimum of dishes. So if you live alone, maybe you will box up everything except one plate, one fork, one spoon, one glass, one frying pan, one saucepan. Then, even when everything is dirty, it isn't so overwhelming. And it can help you to notice when you have left a mess!
I used signs, too. Like one over the sink reminding us that no dirty dishes were to be left in the sink. To put them in the dishwasher...and to run the dishwasher if it was full, or to empty it if it was full of clean dishes! I know it sounds simplistic, but we needed that here!
There is help! Stick around, read some more posts, let us know how it is going for you!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Aug 18, 2008 22:24:06 GMT -5
- for more than two decades I had lived with other people ... & while I've never been an especially tidy person, in any roommate situation, I have always adjusted to whatever "neatness level" the household in question demanded
... but when I moved into my own place, I discovered (much to my horror!) that more often than not I simply CANNOT take out my garbage ... & then, because the garbage is in the way, I can't get to the sink so the dishes pile up & get moldy & everything starts to smell just awful so I'll burn incense & spray lysol on the garbage & dishes & eventually I'll just stop going into the kitchen altogether Hi there. That's my story, too ! I lived with housemates/roommates/friends (and/or long-term loves) -- for decades, and tried to adapt to what they required of me. As soon as I got my own place, I fell into deep squalor. Since I found Squalor Survivors two years ago, I began reading and learning about how to care for myself. And now I am beginning to be able to do it. - |
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Post by pegasus48 on Aug 19, 2008 12:32:00 GMT -5
You are in the right place. Everyone here has, or had, or off & on has problems with mess, clutter, garbage, etc. It can be overcome!! Keep reading and posting and you will get lots of suggestions and support. I know you will be able to get your mess under control!!  |
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Post by creativechaos on Aug 20, 2008 10:51:02 GMT -5
Hi Zeeky; welcome! Anyone who has lived with others most of the time, or who had mothers who wouldn't let them help as kids, never learned the basic stuff of caring for ourselves and our places. I'm in this with you! Not having good maintenance skills has let me down over and over again and put me right back into squalor; that and perfectionism. I think Lioness hit it when she said she was learning self care from reading posts here and learning about that. So glad you found us, Zeeky; you are not alone; your story is many of our stories, and people here are kind, gentle, resourceful, and full of good suggestions. I feel grateful every day of my life for this lovely group. I love the working in 3s thread to get a jump start on those baby steps; it helps on the maintenance and the sorting/discarding.
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Post by zinnia on Aug 23, 2008 21:57:18 GMT -5
Now YOU get to decide how things are done- cool!  So someone else's attitudes/routines (like "taking a half bag of trash out of the trash can is wasting a bag (or trip to the dumpster)", etc.) don't necessarily apply in YOUR home. You'll figure out what works best for you. Welcome! |
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zeeky
New Member
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 38
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Post by zeeky on Aug 27, 2008 1:18:31 GMT -5
thank you all so much for your stories, & your courage. I am about to post photos for the first time -- |
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Post by heylady1 on Aug 30, 2008 9:49:11 GMT -5
Welcome Zeeky!  Sorry about the late welcome, somehow I missed this post!  I'm glad you're here!!
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