babysteps
New Member
"You can do anything for 15 minutes!'" -- FlyLady
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 12
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Post by babysteps on Aug 23, 2008 10:33:23 GMT -5
Hi ... I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a survivor who is constantly vigilant of slipping back into chaos and squalor.
I guess I was a high degree 2nd level, bordering on 3rd degree. The day my in-law scrubbed and scrubbed my DISGUSTING cutting board in the kitchen -- needing a scrub brush to get the layers of old food off -- I knew I was in far too deep. Around that time I became a flybaby (which I still mostly do), and later found SS. (My moniker there was BettterNBetter.)
I've always been a procrastinator. I still have to FORCE myself to do the simplest tasks. I often wonder -- why does washing literally 8 dishes seem like a huge job, but once I get them washed and in the drainer, it only took me 6 minutes?
Someone I know once shared with me how her depression manifested. Her story summed up how I feel a lot of the time, so I thought I'd share it here. She would send her kids to school, and then sit at home in her jammies biting her nails, nearly paralyzed with fear that if she did anything, there wouldn't be enough time to be back for her young children's arrival. She wouldn't even take a shower. Oooooh, how I know that feeling.
At my "best" my house was immaculate (except the basement that had some clutter, but the laundry area was clean and tidy, and office that had some old papers stashed in 2 filing cabinets, but it looked fabulous if you didn't open those drawers ;-).
Today, it varies from day to day, but the foundational clearing of the junk is done, so tidying up really only takes 5-10 min per room (minus kid's rooms although they're actually very neat for kids). Occasionally clutter starts to rear its ugly head. Then I have to make a herculean effort to throw out newly accumulated junk before we're swimming in it.
I think my last issue it to tackle that paper tiger. I have a volunteer position that requires me to generate lots and lots of paper memos for distribution and do a public educational display several times per year. I have cleared out about half my stuff, but I don't really have a good system for keeping it all under control. (Thankfully my organized spouse handles the bills, so that's not a priority for me, but my own office stuff is still a problem.)
I'm so glad this forum was started back up. Thanks to those of you who brought the community over from SS!!!!!!!!
Sincerely, Jane
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Post by crazycatlady on Aug 23, 2008 15:59:30 GMT -5
Welcome back, Jane! It is very encouraging to hear that even someone who still has to push herself to do simple tasks is able to keep a pretty clean home! I have found that some things have become habit, so easy to keep up, while other tasks remain a challenge for me.
But as you said, it is so much easier to keep up in a decluttered home! Good luck with the papers!
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Post by zinnia on Aug 23, 2008 21:44:35 GMT -5
I often wonder -- why does washing literally 8 dishes seem like a huge job, but once I get them washed and in the drainer, it only took me 6 minutes? Very good question. Welcome!
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Post by pegasus48 on Aug 23, 2008 22:41:14 GMT -5
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babysteps
New Member
"You can do anything for 15 minutes!'" -- FlyLady
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 12
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Post by babysteps on Aug 24, 2008 2:05:58 GMT -5
Thanks for the welcome. Y'know, it never dawned on me before, but this runs in my family. Two of my sisters have or still do live in squalor. Sister #2 is supposedly better, but once when I was pg she asked me to wait to go to a restaurant to use the restroom instead of going at her house. I'm not sure how bad it got, but I know a dumpster was used at one point so they could have repair people in. Sister#1 is still living in, I would say, level 3 squalor from what other people have described to me, but she has never invited me into her current house.
I don't know why three of us ended up with these issues. Our dad was a clutterbug with his in-home office, but we NEVER were in squalor, or even that much clutter. My mom was neat (although very very sick through all my teen years so she did get behind a little bit sometimes). Dishwasher was always loaded and run every night and emptied every morning. Counters were clutter-free. Bathrooms and kitchen floor were cleaned every week. Mom kept the younger kids doing chores to help keep the house mostly in order and clean. My special job was polishing all the silver and brass around the house (Mom had a few different collections, like brass candlesticks, brass animal figurines). My sister had to empty out the entire hutch and clean it and all its contents --- ONCE A MONTH (sometimes she went a week overdue).
So we were raised with a decent example of how to maintain a mostly clean house. Why did three of us end up having real issues with cleanliness???
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Post by mellowyellow on Aug 24, 2008 20:03:51 GMT -5
Oh boy... I remember having to empty cupboards and clean inside with damp soapy cloths. Dry everything and restack the cupboards... It certainly wasn't because my mum was overly neat and clean. I think it was just a convenient chore for her teenaged daughter to do. Funny thing is that I don't mind doing that kind of thing. It's the real clutter sorting of clothes and junk that's a challenge. Urgh!!!
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babysteps
New Member
"You can do anything for 15 minutes!'" -- FlyLady
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 12
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Post by babysteps on Aug 24, 2008 23:38:45 GMT -5
Mellow Yellow wrote:
>>"Funny thing is that I don't mind doing that kind of thing [cleaning out a cupboard or hutch]. It's the real clutter sorting of clothes and junk that's a challenge. Urgh!!!"<<
Omigosh! That is soooooo true!
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Post by moonglow on Aug 26, 2008 0:33:08 GMT -5
I too was raised with a "good example" of how to keep a clean house. We grew up helping with the housework, even more so when my mom went to work outside the home. Did dishes when we had to stand on a kitchen chair to reach the sink. Learned to make our beds quite young. Helped with dusting, vacuuming etc. So what happened?? Sometimes I drive myself crazy trying to get at the "root" of the problem but for me at least I think it has more than one cause. Even when it doesn't "appear" to run in the family, it may. When my mom died I found out the real truth. Yes, the house stayed neat. In her later years she had a housekeeper, and I'm sure that helped. But she had a BIG house. In the upstairs, she had her bedroom closet (a 2-person walk-in) stuffed with her clothes, shoes, purses, etc, as well as the closets in the other 2 bedrooms filled - with just her clothes - and underbed storage in 2 of those rooms as well. When we sorted through it all, I could not believe the clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, makeup, etc. that she had stashed in that house. SOMETHING kept it from getting - well, I'm searching for words here. Kept if from getting out of control? Kept it from going that one step further, i.e. becoming clutter/junk/dirty? Dunno. But she FOR SURE had the tendency. One brother has it - bad - another brother struggles with it, and a cousin (so I hear) also has it bad. I think often we don't know about it even when it exists because people become very good at hiding it - doing the stash and dash or crisis cleaning - and they become very good at distancing themselves from others and protecting their turf. That isolation becomes a high price to pay. It is inspiring to know that it CAN be overcome. You are a survivor and for me that is immensely encouraging. Thank you for posting, and keep up the great job!!
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Post by heylady1 on Aug 26, 2008 6:21:56 GMT -5
WELCOME!! Babysteps!!! Mmmmm.....yes, this is my problem too. I tend to overestimate how long something will take to do. Then if I feel I don't have the time to finish whatever, well I just won't start it because I don't want to leave it half done. And in my mind, I have to finish the whole thing. It can't be a part of the project...it has to be all of it. Although I've gotten better at it, I have to admit that most of that credit goes to hubby because I will often say something about what I have planned and then I'll ask him if I have the time to do it or not. Thank goodness he doesn't have the same hang-ups that I do!!! Glad to see you here Babysteps!!!
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