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Post by snailspace on Mar 3, 2012 13:43:18 GMT -5
I have a problem with making phone calls, and apparently a lot of people feel the same way, so I thought I'd start a support thread. (let me know if this has already been done, I've been gone a while) Personally I'm very stressed out by calls to do with: making appointments of any kind / scheduling renewing prescriptions (can't do this via automated system due to no insurance) tech support type calls (where I frequently have communication issues, I'm not a technical type) calls with a lot of 'press this that or the other' options calling medical or vet staff with questions calls involving financial things even simple things like calling a store to find out if something's in (I'd rather drive a hundred miles and look myself than call and ask) ETC, but you get the idea, I find them all massively anxiety-producing, and will procrastinate as long as humanly possible. Anyone, feel free to post here. If nothing else it can be a place to play with smilies while you're waiting on hold for thirty minutes! Editing to Add: Thank you, CourageouslyLion, for the phone smilies!
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Post by snailspace on Mar 3, 2012 13:44:13 GMT -5
Currently dealing with dental drama due to procrastination, I will be back here bright and early on Monday.
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Post by PaperGrace on Mar 3, 2012 15:09:32 GMT -5
I put making 'official' phone calls in the same category as doing paperwork--only MORE anxiety inducing, since you're at the mercy of a menu or another person's expectations. At least with paperwork you can walk away when you like, if you get interrupted you can pick up where you left off, or page back a bit if you need to. I am currently not answering my phone. I did finally get my application in to get the boys onto medicaid, but it hasn't come through yet. The specialists in Boston keep calling for my insurance information, even though I have explained the situation to them many times. We paid for our consultation out of pocket because they seemed so unwilling to back-bill the medicaid when it comes through. Each time they call I feel like screaming "Don't you think I'd call you with it if I had it?!" I have several other phone calls I need to make, mostly health or medical bill related: 1 Midwives to schedule post-partum appointment 2 Dentist to schedule checkups for Me, The Doctor 3 The Doctor's pediatrician for appointment 4 The General's pediatrician for an update from specialists5 Pediatrician's office for billing department 6 Hospital for billing 7 Rescue squad for billing8 Wrist/Elbow specialist for billing 9 Physical Therapist for billing 10 Boston Specialists to explain for the umpteenth millionth time that I don't have insurance, but that medicaid back-bills for children's care at least 3 months back11 Debt collection from Emergency Room bill from 2010 12 Debt collection from Family Doctor's office for same 13 Department of Education for Husband's student loans 14 Housing Trust for credit counselling 15 Insurance company for old reimbursement inquiry 16 AT&T to change plans and/or cancel phone service 17 Housing Authority to apply for low income housing I think I can handle a couple of these things via email. I sure hope so.
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Post by artax on Mar 3, 2012 15:46:52 GMT -5
Nope, you're not alone in this, Snailspace.
And wow, that's a lot of calls, PaperGrace!
I, too have problems making phone calls. It's an odd mix of procrastination/anxiety. I sometimes wonder if it's because I had a lot of negative experiences with my family and phones growing up? (Having to answer and lie that parents "weren't home" when they were, being yelled at/hung up on by them, etc.)
I also have trouble answering phones, if I'm not expecting a call. Around election time, I just want to jump out of my skin due to all the unsolicited political messages. Lately I've taken to just unplugging it from the wall if I'm too stressed out...
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 3, 2012 17:56:44 GMT -5
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Post by Ally on Mar 4, 2012 15:10:02 GMT -5
I'm with you about hating to make phone calls, but I'm getting better at it with age or maybe it's just practice. They say that more than 90% of the things we worry about never happen. I think it's the same way with phone calls. We worry that we will sound stupid, or that it just feels awkward to talk on the phone, or the person will be rude, or we feel embarassed to admit that we have the need of what ever service we are calling about. 90% of the time the call will go smoothly with no problems, and we will feel relieved that it is actually completed.
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Post by charis on Mar 4, 2012 17:35:37 GMT -5
This is a great idea for a thread, snailspace Ally, I agree with your observation that phone calls almost never justify the dread we view them with, but yet I still dread them! I want to wipe these phone calls out this week 1. setting up new m.d. for DS--already racked up unreturned calls from the Dr.'s office 2. call specialty eye clinic to get my twice-yearly assessment scheduled 3. reschedule my dental check-up 4. set up hair appt--which I don't dread ,but put off because if I am going to make calls, shouldn't I make the OTHER calls first
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Post by casper on Mar 4, 2012 19:47:01 GMT -5
I hate the telephone so much that the only call I ever make is to the Veterinarian. When his landline phone here in the house rings I get a terrible panic attack but I have to answer it to take messages from his doctors offices for him because his answering machine broke. I hate the phone so much that I haven't had one myself for about thirty years & the only reason I had one before then was because I had a kid.
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Post by lizzie on Mar 5, 2012 2:41:14 GMT -5
I find it helps to write down the questions I want to ask on a piece of paper, and also sentences like "I am talking to ........." and today is ..... (date) my address is..... my account number is..... the receipt/log number for this call is....
Because I find that after having worked my way through voice recognition/ automated systems and been on hold and listened to all sorts of radio or music drivel while waiting, that after a while I can hardly remember anything (including my own mobile phone number).
As soon as a person answers I note down their name. That is useful for follow up calls, and also means I can say 'thank you (name)' at the end of the call, which makes a difference to the person I have been speaking to, and to my mind is a courtesy that increases the chances of them following through with whatever I have requested.
In other words, I write a script of what I want to say, and have spaces for information to be filled in while I am on the phone.
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Post by snailspace on Mar 5, 2012 9:30:12 GMT -5
Good to know I'm not alone, but sorry so many are in the same boat! Thank you, Lion, for the link to that excellent thread! And thanks everyone for the other tips! Hugs and support to everyone facing calls! After much stressing this morning I called the dentist, first I got a busy signal, then I called and got a 'we're busy, leave a message' thing. Great... you can guess how I feel about LEAVING MESSAGES, ! (like a snail on a stage under a spotlight in front of a microphone) But I did it. Now I have to sit here and worry that the phone might ring and also that it might not ring and if it will then when. UPDATE: Oh, they just called me back! The receptionist was very nice, and I have an appointment for tomorrow. I'm so relieved! Glad it's so soon for the sake of the pain, but also glad it's not today, since I'm tired and a bit of a basket case this morning, haha! eta: it just occurred to me that even though I was rambling and nervous they are probably quite used to dealing with nervous people.
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Post by cando on Mar 5, 2012 13:14:13 GMT -5
Snailspace -- glad things went well with Dentist phone calls. I did not know that I was going to be making lots of phone calls today... and I've already made a few, & more to do today. Anything related to medical to me is "stressful and anxiety provoking". Even the phone call with my own DD. She called me re: her status from the doctor's office. I'm exhausted already... mentally, emotionally and physically (most of the physically tho is from not sleeping well last night & working out very early this morning)... Best of luck to all of us! CD
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Post by charis on Mar 5, 2012 17:36:12 GMT -5
Yay snailspace and cando for getting calls made. I called: 1. DS's new prospective new doctor and got told to call back tomorrow 2. Called vet (forgot about olddog's overdue rabies shot) and got him in this afternoon I wish I could go to the vet instead of my doctor. Less waiting, cheaper and better magazines in the waiting room
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Post by maggie on Mar 5, 2012 18:19:05 GMT -5
I hate phone calls too! There is NO CALL EVER that I happily rush to answer. Usually, if I get up to answer the phone (and often I do not), I check the call display, try to figure out who might be calling, and then decide whether to answer.
I also dislike making calls as well. However, I'm definitely getting better at it. I LOVE to get an answering machine instead of a person, because I can leave all the information (usually I am phoning to GIVE info, not to ask for it) and not have to chit chat or get trapped on a call that I don't know how to exit.
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Post by Starflower on Mar 5, 2012 19:19:15 GMT -5
I agree with lizzie and do what she suggests.
I HATE to ask for help on the phone or in person, or over the net, for that matter. I feel so vulnerable and confused and exposed and fearful. This probably comes from feeling like I was not getting heard as a kid, and getting laughed at or disbelieved or discounted or shamed or slapped when I did get up the courage to ask for something.
I still cringe when I hear a kid ask for something at the store and the parent says,"No, Susie, you don't want that!"
Take care.
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Post by cando on Mar 6, 2012 16:21:16 GMT -5
Aw, Starflower. Anything regarding insurance, i find stressful or causes anxiety. So, I succeeded in phone call today re: personal articles & Homeowner's insurance policies. I prefer to get a person than stuck in VoiceMail H*ll. I hate getting stuck in a loop. Seems to me that it is hard these days to get to a real person... and by the time I do... my phone is out of power or I'm so aggravated that I am no longer in my good happy mood. Or, sometimes I am extra sweet & nice because I am so happy to get a "real" person. (Even though I am still having the background stress or anxiety that is almost always there...) Great job on your calls, Charis. CD
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