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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2012 12:27:29 GMT -5
Hey Morning, I just missed your last post as I was typing mine. I think for you, it's going to be important for you not to look at things too closely. There is no reason WHY you need to even be opening your tax folders for way back when. If you haven't looked at it in 20 years, there is no freakin' way you need it. Pick up the file, throw it in the bag, and move onto the next one. Do not get bogged down if at all possible.
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Post by morningglory on Mar 16, 2012 12:31:14 GMT -5
Hurricane, thank you VERY much for all the encouragement and suggestions and support!
I, in turn, am so proud of YOU for preparing all that healthy baby food! AND for going to all the effort to clean up that aftermath!
I'll be thinking of you, too, even though I have decided to do more clothes before tackling the papers. (It seems paper is the hardest thing for me to let go of!)
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Post by morningglory on Mar 16, 2012 12:36:05 GMT -5
Hurricane, I know your advice is right on. That's the whole point of "toss everything out and start from scratch". It's going to be REALLY difficult, though. UGH!
I will read your post about throwing out your mom's art. That sounds a lot more emotionally meaningful than some stupid tax forms!
In my mind I imagine that I will transcribe info from the forms that I wish to keep track of, but we all know that would take much more time than it's worth and much more time that I even HAVE--there are so many things I would much rather spend those hours doing! It would just end up sitting there, waiting for me to get to it, like it has for the past 20 years.
So, again, I know you're right about just dumping unopened folders. (I'm thinking, "Well, I'll just glance over the contents. It will only add a few minutes.")
Thanks for all the inspiration.
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 16, 2012 12:41:52 GMT -5
How did it go Morning? I hope you tossed so much you're too exhausted to type!! No really, whatever you managed to get done, give yourself a pat on the back. Big purges are exhausting physically (at least for me), so I hope you're recovering by doing something nice for yourself. When I read this statement, I thought no, but it will be emotionally exhausting! It does get easier for me, the more I toss. During the clean-out of my file cabinet, about the last 1/4th of it, I just didn't care and was just tossing stuff! Sometimes it helped me to take pictures of stuff. Then i can toss the original, I can store the picture on line, and write a little paragraph about it some rainy afternoon, after my house is empty. I'm very, very proud of what you have done. Be gentle with yourself. When you need to stop, stop. Don't be a slave-driver to yourself! I read somewhere, I think it was Tolin's Buried in Treasures, that after you have worked a while, stop and give yourself a reward. (just don't go buy anything for the reward! )
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 16, 2012 12:43:07 GMT -5
Hey Morning, I just missed your last post as I was typing mine. I think for you, it's going to be important for you not to look at things too closely. There is no reason WHY you need to even be opening your tax folders for way back when. If you haven't looked at it in 20 years, there is no freakin' way you need it. Pick up the file, throw it in the bag, and move onto the next one. Do not get bogged down if at all possible. I wrote a post about tossing my mom's art, which darn near killed me....I had to close my eyes to do it. I'll post the link below. takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=17553It's great that worked for you, but we each have to do it our own way.
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Joined: January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2012 12:57:57 GMT -5
deleted for privacy
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Post by tangerine on Mar 16, 2012 13:43:40 GMT -5
Wow, morningglory, you're doing great!
What you wrote about being an archivist/curator, I can totally relate. I have a very hard time getting rid of things that have "historical importance" (Importance in my mind anyway!) You are right, it's really psychologically draining doing some of this decluttering! I nearly had a breakdown last month throwing out some old boyfriend letters. But I feel much, much better now.
I was able to donate a few things that might have been of interest to a local history museum. That was a great guilt free way to get rid of a few items.
I'd love to hear more ways of dealing with the curator gene.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 16, 2012 14:21:45 GMT -5
I wonder if there is a "Compulsive Archivists Anonymous"? You know I'd be a member!
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Post by crazycatlady on Mar 16, 2012 14:56:53 GMT -5
You are doing GREAT things, MorningGlory! Great job getting the laundry pile out of the basement. I think that it is perfectly fine to keep a few items, although pitching it all would be good, too. My Dad passed away last summer, and it has been a lot of work to sort through his stuff. We found a few fun items, like paperwork from where his Dad had to borrow $25 from the bank and pay it back over time. This was to pay their rent. This provided us about 15 minutes of amusement and reminiscing. Had his parents or my parents saved every bit of paper, I don't think we would have been able to find those few fun items stashed away. We probably would have had to pitch it all. So for your the sake of your kids, let it go. The same way this pile of papers is dragging on you, it will drag them down someday. It is not easy. But you can do it! One other idea for getting rid of sensitive papers is to fill a garbage bag full, then empty a litterbox into it. This takes care of two jobs at once! !
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 16, 2012 15:02:22 GMT -5
You could just take photos of pages you find meaningful or particularly interesting.
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Post by morningglory on Mar 16, 2012 15:35:14 GMT -5
daeyenu, sounds like you have "been there, done that". You "get" what I'm going through, so your support is very appreciated. I am, of course, tempted to take pictures of the documents I want to preserve, but that would require me to look through the papers to find them! Right now I think I need to make a serious dent in what I've accumulated. . . crazycatlady, thank you *very* much for the story of finding that amusing paper of your dad's. At first I didn't like reading that, because I thought, "SEE, that's exactly what I mean. The kids will love seeing those funny papers from the past!" Then I read the part where you said it provided about 15 minutes of enjoyment. And, as you implied, compare that with the hours and hours of drudgery my kids would have to deal with in dumping all my boxes and boxes of junk. Either they'll just give up and toss it all without looking at it, as you say, or they would have to take a big chunk of time out of their lives sifting through what is at least 80% meaningless trash! Likely much more than 80%. So that insight is very motivational. tangerine and Courageously, maybe we DO need to form a group for compulsive archivists and curators. I guess it could be a subtype of hoarding. Hurricane, while it's true that not everyone needs/wants to go to extreme levels, I kind of *do* want to at this point. I read those posts about people just throwing everything out at once, without bothering to do much sorting or salvaging at all, and starting from scratch. That idea appealed to me. I want to make a real change. So I am appreciating your suggestions very much. EVERYONE I am benefitting greatly from all the suggestions, ideas, and support. I'll report back after my next purge, which I hope will be by tomorrow.
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Post by morningglory on Mar 16, 2012 16:06:16 GMT -5
So I am getting my 12-year-old daughter involved in this purging. She told me she has two baskets of clothes under her bed that she doesn't want/need. At first I thought we could just throw them into bags and donate them, but apparently Goodwill and Salvation Army do not wash things they receive, so I wouldn't feel right donating before washing them (even though they are not filthy or anything, just worn and not washed). So I told her to bag them up and give them to me. I'll just run them quickly through the wash and back into the bag with them. She is also going to help me ruthlessly purge the clean laundry in the living room. I said there may be a few items in there that someone will say, "I've been looking all over for that!" but that the majority have been sitting in those baskets for weeks and weeks, so I suspect they really are not essential or loved! The plan is to dump out one basket at a time, let people take any items of their they *really* want to keep, the rest goes to donation (or trash if it is not in good condition or is something like a mismatched sock). At least these things have already been washed, so they won't take any more of my time after we have done the sort!
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Joined: January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2012 22:44:04 GMT -5
Morning, you have a private message from me. You're doing a wonderful job with making a plan and then attacking the piles.....my every encouragement goes out to you.
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Post by morningglory on Mar 17, 2012 19:55:59 GMT -5
YAY - WOOHOO - YAY - LAUNDRY PROGRESS PLUS!!!
So my daughter and I worked on those clean laundry baskets today and got them all dealt with! We started with about 6 regular baskets plus 4 tall baskets plus a bunch of clothes strewn on the floor. After putting away all the stuff that was still wanted or needed, we ended up with 3 tall kitchen trash bags for donation and 3 tall kitchen trash bags of trash.
This got us inspired and I was able to throw away a bunch of paper from the files, as well, including the correspondence I mentioned in my first post. It was with a girl I knew in 7th grade. I moved away and we kept up a correspondence for about 15 years, during which time she was treated several times in psychiatric hospitals for her schizophrenia. I did read through several, some from each address I lived at over the course of those years, as I went through many life changes. The correspondence ends about 20 years ago, when we lost track of each other.
One thing I am finding is that I kept a lot of these things for so many years with the idea that some day I would want to look them over and remember--and now I feel that that time has come. I am almost 50 and I do enjoy looking back at letters from people I knew years ago. It brings back memories and I also can understand those relationships from a more mature perspective. So now that I have looked at them, I don't mind letting them go. I don't feel the need to save them to look at again when I am 90! :-)
I threw out my "boyfriend letters" a few years ago. Those a guy who I had been head-over-heels in love with when I was 15 and actually intended to marry (he had even given me a ring, albeit with a tiny diamond!). I have been married for over 30 years now, not to that guy, and am very grateful that I didn't marry him. Yet I had kept those letters and photos for all that time! It was a little difficult to toss them away, but they are really not relevant to me now.
I also threw out several file folders worth of stuff, including some of the stuff I just couldn't part with on Friday. :-)
Right now, my daughter is sweeping up the whole living room, moving furniture and picking up laundry that has become dirty again from lying on the floor under furniture for months. My husband says he will be cleaning out the corner near his chair (which is stacked with all kinds of electronic parts and papers and other things).
Next on my agenda is more files, and the back corner of my kitchen, where a bunch of junk is just stashed (where I throw things when I "clean up" the living room and dining room). Mice like to hide back there. It's gross, plus we need the space. So it's in my crosshairs for the close-my-eyes-and-toss approach.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 17, 2012 20:39:35 GMT -5
WOW !!!
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