Continuing to TOSS, AGGRESSIVELY (thread #2)

[Hurricane]

Thanks ontheway!

Glory, I know you're away until passover ends, but I hope you don't mind me using your thread to plan the attack on my master bedroom walk-in closet. After awhile of pondering, here's how I'll do it:

1. First remove anything I can obviously throw away or donate, and then actually put those things in the garbage or donation bin (or if I'm feeling a lot of joint pain that day, I'll just throw it all and forget the donating). Update: called a junk-be-gone place to haul out and take away a lot of the heavy, larger stuff in the closet...I had some odd sized, unmatched shelving units in there that were just in the way. I also had the junk people take almost everything out of my garage, as I'm not well enough to do outdoor gardening work or grilling anymore. I don't have a lot of energy and I just can't sort, separate and donate right now. I know some people on the forum are troubled by the "toss it all" idea, but this is what works for me. I'm relieved to be free of things no longer suited to the life I live NOW. While I had not planned on using junk-be-gone originally, it became clear to me that I needed help with the heavier stuff.

2. Try on my clothes. I had my son 10 months ago, and even though I've lost all the baby weight, things aren't fitting me. Perhaps it's because everything on my body slid in a downward direction after giving birth. Anything that does not fit/flatter must go. When I can afford it, I will then have room for new clothes that fit me better and make me feel good about myself. UPDATE: the clothing wasn't too hard to get through...any pieces that were uncomfortable or made me bulge in weird places got tossed. Also anything with rips/stains/etc. is gone. I tried it all on before the junk boys got here, and then they took the rejected stuff out with them...I figure I got rid of about 60% of my clothes. With the extra shelves out of there and so much clothing gone, there is a lot more room to work and organize now. There is still stuff to sort, but the heavy work is mostly done.

3. Ugh...tackle the craft/sewing pile. Yuk. I've lost a lot of the use of my hands with my disability and can no longer do these things. I will save up to four small projects that I can work on slowly over time, and that I actually have a chance in hell at finishing. The rest....out! UPDATE: tons of yarn has been thrown out, as I'm giving up knitting (too hard on my wrists). I did save two small embroidery/crewel projects, and one felt/bead project.

4. Tackle the paper pile. File what needs to be filed, and toss the rest. UPDATE: almost the entire of pile of paper was tossed...only three small pieces had to be saved and were filed.

5. I have a jewelry cabinet in there that needs paring down. I love jewelry and get a lot of it as gifts, but much of that stuff isn't my taste. I don't need to keep it! There are a few broken pieces in there that I will take the time and $$$ to get repaired as they're important to me...and I will actually go do that during this clean out. I really want to start wearing those pieces again. UPDATE: broken jewelry taken in to jewelers to be fixed.

6. Is there some reason I need 5000 extra hangers kept in bins in there? No. Even if I toss all extra hangers and then get really desperate for one, I could go out and purchase a few new ones, and they're cheap. UPDATE....sent hangers off with the junk boys.

7. Yes, I live in MN, but do I really need 25 quilts/blankets? I will allow two sets for each bed and get rid of the rest. UPDATE....extras sent off with junk boys. UPDATE: I have three quilts and three blankets saved....one of each for each bed.

8. Purses/bags...I do not need more than 4. I rarely carry a purse as it hurts my shoulders/hands, so besides a few totes, these can go. UPDATE: I saved one purse and two totes. 30 others are gone.

9. Laundry baskets. I have 4 big baskets on the floor so I can separate out my clothing by color when it gets dirty. This must stop. I'm disabled and have a baby....to heck with separating, as I don't have the energy for it. I want my closet floor to be clean again as I am forever tripping over these d*mn baskets, and have hurt myself multiple times from falling over them. I will pare down to 2 baskets and stop the madness! UPDATE: extra baskets sent with junk boys, but there is still some organizing to do of what's left. UPDATE: two baskets are against the wall where they fit nicely, and I can walk through this closet without tripping!

10. Books. If I'm not going to read them again (and very few will I read again), out they go. UPDATE: 90% of books carried out by junk boys, but there remain a few I will sort through more carefully. UPDATE: I saved only 5 books.

11. Stuffed animals. I'm a big lover of stuffed animals and have about 25...these can be pared down to the 10 most meaningful ones. I hug these stuffies on a daily basis as I find it helpful for dealing with chronic pain....other people find that to be horrifically immature behavior, but it works for me. I would like to put them nicely on a shelf instead of just jamming them in there....then they can cheer me up and smile at me when I walk in, and I'll have easy access for hugging. UPDATE: Because I had so much shelf space left over after everything else was cleaned out, I saved a few more stuffies than originally planned. I got rid of 5, so I have 20 sitting up on a shelf sweetly smiling at me, ready at a moments notice for a hug.

As you can tell, this is a BIG closet, and it's stuffed with a large amount of crap. Now that I have a plan, I will begin to attack this job as I can and put check marks in the little hearts when I finish a task.

UPDATE: If you have the cash and aren't fearful of strangers touching your stuff, I highly recommend your local junk-be-gone people. They came out SAME DAY with three guys and a truck, had everything hauled out in an hour, and were extremely polite and respectful. It cost me $120 and saved me hours of backbreaking work. I don't know why I never thought to utilize this service before. All I had to do was sit in a chair and give them directions.

Another Update: at 11pm on 4/16, my closet is officially finished. I can WALK IN now....it's a miracle! I want to thank the girls here who worked so hard on their own homes that it inspired me to get this job tackled and finished. I don't think I could have done it without you! I know for sure it would have taken me several more weeks if I hadn't gotten junk-be gone boys to do the worst of the hauling out. I do still have to pick up my fixed jewelry at the jewelers, but that's it. Yea!!!

Looking forward to reading about everyone else's projects and decluttering!!

[ontheway]

Hurricane_J,

What am excellent "attack" list (action plan). I like the way you have set numbers for reducing groups of objects - you are right it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Getting to the point of being willing to "let it go" is hard - but crucial to de-cluttering - otherwise, you are just trying to organize what you already have (which for us is usually too much .

Sometimes the reason we have accumulated is that the final decision making of "getting rid of it" is so hard - we avoid the struggle. But believe me - you won't miss the mess or the stuff - because in the end, it is just stuff.

[morningglory]

Hi. Right now I am washing and putting away all our Passover dishes and other utensils. They go into big plastic bins that we store in the basement. Once I have them put away, I can turn my attention back to the counter pile.

Chiming in on the container thing--I think buttercup's suggestion to use glass containers is a great idea. Actually, I recently bought a bunch of those, but my reason was because I wanted to be able to heat things in the oven, then store the leftovers and reheat them the next day, without having to use three or four separate containers (bake, serve, store, reheat). I love them for that.

But I never considered completely doing away with the plastic ones in favor of the glass. I suppose one reason is that they take up more room in the fridge. Another is that I can use the plastic for other things (like storing little bitty toys). Another is a squalory type reason--I can simply throw away the plastic ones at some point, like when the contents have totally rotted or molded and don't want to have to even open it! Of course, if I keep my fridge stuff rotated and get rid of things before they are so far gone, it's not such an issue. Also, it's easier to see into the glass containers than the plastic ones.

Truth be told, I often use plastic bags to store non-heated foods, because there is no clean up (toss away when I'm done). So I could probably use a combination of glass containers and Ziploc bags for my various storage needs. . . I am seriously considering doing that now.

An idea dawned on me recently that should have really been "duh". You know how there are always a lot of things that get left out because there is no place to store them? I suddenly realized that if I would clean out my closets and cupboards, aggressively tossing all the non-essentials, I would have a place to store the things I do use regularly that currently get left out! Ugh, it's annoying that such simple ideas have to come so hard, but on the other hand, I find it super motivating to envision useful cupboard and closet spaces where I can put things I use from time to time (like the carrying case for my laptop).

OK, back to putting Passover items in their bins. Planning to check back later.

[morningglory]

PS - I haven't actually read the posts in this thread that came in while I was offline (other than the one about glass containers), but skimming through I see some great stuff was going on while I was away! No, I do not mind, Hurrican--in fact I am LOVING IT!

[artax]

Keep it up, Morningglory!

Another vote for the snap-lidded glass containers over plastic ones.

I recently banished all Tupperware and Tupperware-clones out of the kitchen (Most of it was 10+ years old anyway) and got a small set of the "Glasslock" variety from the local kitchen shop. Amazing how much better the cabinet looks. I keep the lids on, as well.

[dayeanu]

I use glass containers for food to eliminate the possibility of plastic contaminants from leaching into our foods.

[morningglory]

PASSOVER

Ah, finished putting the Passover dishes away. Although Passover cleaning presents special problems for squalor homes, putting the Passover things away can involve its own difficulties. For Christians, I think the most similar thing would be the Christmas things. You know, all the sentimental things associated with previous years and when the kids were younger, that you only take out once a year. Passover has the added issue that there is an even stronger pressure to keep things "just in case it might be needed" (because we use a totally separate set of kitchen utensils, and it is hard to anticipate which utensils might come in handy in some future year, depending on what food is being served).

I am proud of myself for throwing away a couple of items that the kids had made in previous years but which we have never used since the first year, because they were not very substantial. I had hung onto them because I always hate to throw away anything the kids have made. But I did keep all the duplicate measuring spoons, garlic presses, and other duplicates (things I buy before hauling out the bins, because I can't remember if I have one for Passover or not).

I am also happy to have used one of the big plastic bins I had emptied out while tossing stuff out, that had just been sitting around cluttering up the living room. I decided to store the dish buckets and racks and few other little things in that bin.

Reducing my perfectionist sorting tendencies seemed to make this process of putting things away go so much more smoothly. It seems that I usually try hard to (1) fill every available crack of space in the bins, (2) organize the utensils in some kind of perfectly logical way and get disturbed if I find that, for instance, one dish didn't get packed with the others, so it has to go by itself into a different bin. This time I focused on making the bins not too heavy and distributing the weigh, tried to keep similar things together as much as possible, but didn't feel upset if some similar things had to go into a different bin. (I mean, I bring them all up and open them together, anyway, so it's not like I'm going to lose something!)

GLASS CONTAINERS

Dayeanu, I am also attracted to glass for the reason of avoiding plastic contaminants. Artax, thanks for the suggestion to look into Glasslock; I had never heard of that brand. Looking into the cupboard, I can see that tossing that huge assortment of different plastic boxes would be a lot neater. I think I will temporarily keep the boxes, while I am sorting stuff, to use to hold essential items I want to store, then throw away whatever is left.

HURRICANE

WOW, what a lot you have accomplished. I am in awe of how realistic you are about (1) your own resources for dealing with the stuff and your need to get assistance, and (2) what things you really need to keep versus chuck out. I am very inspired by your progress! I look forward to hearing more!

COUNTER

Haven't dug in yet, but now the Passover things are put away, I can begin to tackle it first thing tomorrow. If you don't see me post, please prod me!

[morningglory]

PS - CODE VIOLATION

Wanted to mention that we have been cited for having a broken-down old fence. Upon receiving notice of the violation, I felt a strong sense of shame, to the point that I felt the stress and anxiety would interfere with the progress I have been making in the house.

It also is upsetting to know that it must have been called in by our neighbor, who has been consistently nasty to us, and that he didn't bother to say anything to us before reporting the violation. Although I don't blame him for wanting the fence to be fixed and he is well within his rights to report it, it would have been nice ("neighborly" even) if he had spoken with us, asked what our situation was regarding the fence, or at least warned us that he was going to report it so we could prepare. But maybe he thinks it would have been neighborly of us to take care of it ourselves without his having to deal with it, which is part of why I feel so embarrassed about the whole thing.

The good news is that after the initial feelings of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, fear, and stress (all of which lasted about an hour or two), I decided simply to add this to my list of squalor that I am currently attacking, just another "kitchen pile". Thankfully, our tax refund should cover most or all of it (I hope!) so I am planning to arrange estimates on the work this week and just deal with it.

[cando]

Morning Glory! I am so impressed with all you have done today putting away the Passover china, etc. It is a lot of work preparing and then putting away and getting things back to normal.

We sure have a lot of matza and other foods left over from Passover this year!

I'm afraid that I haven't been able to get to my kitchen counter, either, or to that cabinet with the plastic containers. Yeah, I prefer the glass containers, too. I'll have to check out the ones suggested on this thread.

I have made a big accomplishment, though. I finally got quite a lot done organizing DD's college financial stuff. That took a ton of time, but I feel much more comfortable with it, now. I also did some bookkeeping while organizing it. After doing that, I was able to make an interest payment on one of her student loans. Although there is still quite a lot more to go on this, I already feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I also got rid of a whole bunch of receipts/papers from 1999!

So, I am hoping to get to my counter and cabinet tomorrow, too. I may need a swift kick to get me going... So, i am already wondering what to do with the containers that I need to get rid of. Any suggestions? Trash? Give away? Can they be recycled?

Thanks,
CD

[dayeanu]

I am so sorry about the code violation. And more sorry about your sorry neighbor.

I am VERY glad all the emotions the notice evoked didn't send you into a slump, and that after a couple of hours you recovered!

Is the fence something you can take care of yourself, or will you have to hire the work done?

[cando]

Apr 15, 2012 20:05:49 GMT -5 morningglory said:

The good news is that after the initial feelings of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, fear, and stress (all of which lasted about an hour or two), I decided simply to add this to my list of squalor that I am currently attacking, just another "kitchen pile". .

I was very happy to read this last part! So, sorry to hear that you got the violation, but looks like you are going to be able to resolve this.

Hurricaine!!! Love your post with the updates! You are amazing!!!!

[Sunshine]

Hurricane, you've achieved so much... you make me want to go and do more clearing out! Thank you!

MorningGlory, I'm sorry to hear about the problem with the fence. Shame/hurt/anger is a thing for me, and for what it's worth, here's some advice I was given that made a big difference in my thinking.

Say someone does something that you don't like. It's not something that threatens your health or safety, just something ughh. An example is that someone cuts you off in traffic.

When I start to go, grr/what's wrong with my driving/other unhelpful response, I stop and reframe it, and attribute some WONDERFUL motive to the other person. So in that example, I think, wow, they are so excited to be heading home, I bet they have a partner/family that they really love that they can't wait to see!

It probably sounds silly, but it has really made me feel a lot better about stuff that I can't change anyway

[Sunshine]

Gulp! I did it... I went through my clothes and collected a laundry basket full that can go to charity. Oh my goodness that was hard. Once I filled it, I felt a panic, so I switched my brain back on, took each item out, and returned them to the basket one by one..."yep, never worn that"... "nope, hasn't fitted for about 3 years"... "ugh, have never really liked that"... and sure enough, every single item is going.

I feel a bit shaky, but my reward is to have somewhere that I can actually hang the things I do wear!

[morningglory]

Fantastic work, sunshine! I've been through that kind of process a number of times. It seems that the more I do it, the easier it gets. (Although I often have to get myself back into the groove again.) You are absolutely right that getting rid of the stuff that doesn't suit you for whatever reason will make your life better, not worse. It's like weeding a garden so the flowers can grow.

Cando, tackling that kind of paperwork, especially when it relates to finances, can take just as much (sometimes more) effort than clearing out a closet or "pile". I feel a sense of relief just reading about your progress with that. And great work getting rid of old receipts. As for the containers--if they are meant to be disposable, then dispose of them (trash or recycling). If they are more permanent (Tupperware, Rubbermaid) toss them in the donation box (but only if you will actually drop them off, otherwise, trash them too). I'll be waiting for your counter/cabinet report.

Dayeanu, cando, and sunshine, thanks for your support concerning the fence. It is theoretically something we could fix ourselves, but that is part of the reason it has gotten this bad. Every year my husband says that he will build a new fence, since he has the technical ability and most of the tools, but the reality is he also has a full-time job and suffers from depression and anxiety, on top of which he has now developed a hernia. He really wanted to do it himself and save the money of a professional installation (and he has made some patches to it over the years), but now that it is urgent (we have 30 days to correct the situation) he can't keep telling me that he will get to it. We need to hire professionals to do it. In previous years we wouldn't have been able to afford even the material for replacing it ourselves, so it is a blessing that we didn't get cited until now. (Of course it's in a lot worse shape by now than it had been previously, too.)

[Hurricane]

Glory, I'm glad you're not letting the fence thing stop you in your tracks. I've noticed that when people really get on a roll with something new in their lives, the universe will throw up an obstacle....like your fence issue, a sprained ankle, or another distraction. It's happened to me over and over again....just yesterday, as I'm really getting my closet under way, I lost my babysitter for this week. I think these things come up to test our determination....we will find a way to persevere despite obstacles. We only need persistence, and maybe a little encouragement from each other.

Cando....yea for the financial organization (one of my most dreaded tasks). For that you get the super sassy bananas: Happy clearing counters!

Sunshine, awesome work with the donations. It will get easier as you practice doing it over and over again as you clean out your house. I know it feels weird and unfamiliar at first (it did with me too), but many here have found that motivation really does follow action. You're doing great!

Today my goal is to sort through the very small number of books left in my closet (less than 20) and toss some more. Hopefully I can do this during my baby's nap...we'll see....sometimes he declines his nap. UPDATE: Tossed more than half of the books while baby napped, so I'm keeping about 7 total.

Happy decluttering to all!