|
Post by Ally on Jul 11, 2012 18:05:24 GMT -5
Over the past few days I have wondered how to best apply the techniques from this book to my living conditions. I think I need to add an extra step at the beginning. Most of my treasures are buried in the squalor... When I start at a point of entry, I think I should quickly sort out obvious trash that I have no attachment to, and is totally useless to anyone. Expired receipts, broken items, I'm talking obvious trash. At that point it will be easier to look through what is left and decide it it merits treasure status, or donation status.
I have a question. I have several toys around that belonged to DD when she was little. Is it acceptable to keep some of these for when she has children? Or for her... just for the memories? Maybe I should ask her what she'd want me to do with them. Some of them I have no attachment to all all, and I doubt she would either... I know those can go.
|
|
|
Post by angelinahedgehog on Jul 11, 2012 20:15:09 GMT -5
When I start at a point of entry, I think I should quickly sort out obvious trash that I have no attachment to, and is totally useless to anyone. Expired receipts, broken items, I'm talking obvious trash. At that point it will be easier to look through what is left and decide it it merits treasure status, or donation status. Those things sound like what Julie includes in her No-Brainer Toss Lists in OFIO. And if you have an area that's cluttered to the extent that you don't even know what's in there to figure what the treasures are, then that may well be the way to go. I know that SHED allows for keeping items for sentimental reasons: the best of the best. Beyond that, this is all very personal. You are the only person who can decide whether item X is worth more to you than the space it would free up if it were gone.
|
|
|
Post by angelinahedgehog on Jul 11, 2012 20:50:08 GMT -5
I've reviewed my list of possible points of entry, and I think I'm going to start with kitchen supplies. The clothes closet and the filing cabinets feel like ordinary housework to me. And the DVDs and photos are literally too remote (photos at the top of the shelves, DVDs behind the closed doors of my entertainment unit) to produce a real sense of space.
The kitchen supplies, though... Yes. They're THERE. And visible.
After that, we'll see.
|
|
|
Post by Layla on Jul 12, 2012 21:19:25 GMT -5
Ally, Id ask your daughter if she wants them, but make it known to her you will be getting rid of them (if she says she doesnt or says she wants them but will get them "sometime") Make it known she needs to get them or you can box them up and take them to her or send them if thats an issue at all.
I had some items at my parents I wanted and kept in my old closet there, My Dad threw some away and it really crushed and traumatized me. Cause I was never told it was an issue and they were some of my collectible items I kept neatly organized and was never told it was an issue for them to be stored there. Id have driven over that very day to come pick them up if I knew he wanted them out.
But dont let it be drawn out.
|
|
|
Post by angelinahedgehog on Jul 13, 2012 7:28:26 GMT -5
My official entry point is the kitchen supplies, but I had an idea about the Collection. There are to-dos associated with the Collection, and I don't have a good way of tracking them. I take a book, I do the thing, and then it goes back onto the shelf. And since I have a backlog, and tend to work on what catches my eye, this means that something that I haven't processed at all can be next to something that's done. And there's no way of knowing which is which. Aside from my memory. And, frankly, my memory isn't up to this. This is disheartening, because it means that every time I have the faintest urge to work on this, I have to find something that still needs to be done. (Believe me, there's plenty, but I know myself. I'm a creature of habit, and I'll tend to pick the same starting points each time.) So I waste a lot of time and energy. Enter the idea. This collection is entered in LibraryThing. LibraryThing has a tagging function. The tags are user-chosen. So I can have tags like: If I tag the collection, I could then use that. I could look for a book that suits my whim, depending on whether I felt like reading or writing. And I could completely IGNORE the "done"-tagged items, because... They're done. (Okay, I wouldn't actually ignore them. I'd look at them every so often and smile at how long the list was.) I'm still not sure that I will end up keeping these books. But recognizing that I'm dealing with a purely technical error means that I have a hope of fixing it. Well, I tagged 5 books, and then I had to DO something. Something physical. One set of nesting bowls, one marble pastry board, one wooden TV tray, and one small cork bulletin board are now downstairs, in areas where they can be scrounged by others in the building.
|
|
|
Post by Ally on Jul 14, 2012 10:12:14 GMT -5
One of the things Julie talks about in the book, is digging into your past to find the reason why you keep excess stuff. She talks about finding a time before you had clutter. I've had a messy cluttered room since I was a teenager. At that time I went through a period of depression. Looking back at my life, I think the depression may have been fueled by hormones. Every episode of depression I have ever had has followed a hormonal shift. The other reason for my clutter was the period of time when I worked night shift a few years ago. I never slept very well, and lived in a state of perpetual grogginess for several years. Today I noticed that a post about a research study... I just completed the survey/test. I did it partially to see if I could learn anything about myself from taking it. I don't want to say too much, because that could possibly throw off the results of the study. I think my main areas where I might have problems are: Genetics.. Nature/Nurture. Can I blame my parents? Indecision/perfectionism. I might make the wrong decision about throwing out an object. What if I need it tomorrow or next week? Then I would have made a bad decision. Attachment to objects. Memories. Feelings. What I'm taking away from this is that I can't keep everything because I might need it someday. I have to forgive myself for making decisions that might turn out in hind-sight not to be the perfect decision. I have to do the best I have with what the current information I have, and that means I have to release this excess stuff, because it is hurting me and it is hurting those I love.
|
|
|
Post by missjean on Jul 15, 2012 12:08:18 GMT -5
Ally, the survey shut down on me, which I took as a sign. I realized that only two rooms are truly cluttered - and only the office is high on the survey's scale. Why is my office so bad? It's tactical. If it's not functional, I have an excuse. I can't follow a budget if my budget book and financial information are missing in the pile. I can't write - and face the prospect that my work will be rejected - if I don't have a place to write and keep my drafts. I couldn't locate those kind people who offered me their cards (sadly, I found out that one of the editor/publishers is now deceased and the writers' group disbanded two years ago). Why is my bedroom so bad? I reckon it's because I hate, hate, hate that I've aged terribly in just three years and have surgical scars to cover up. My decor is more feminine than any I've ever had, but now I look at it as pathetic as Miss Havisham's old cake!
|
|
|
Post by Ally on Jul 15, 2012 12:55:11 GMT -5
MissJean, I'm sorry that the survey shut down on you. There were some interesting "games" at the end, like how many uses can you think of for eyeglasses in x amount of time. I was stumped. If they had asked me for uses of a paperclip, I could have come up with zillions. Wow, I think that it's great that you only have to work on two rooms. I might have 2 rooms that don't need much work, but the rest! ! I know this is off-topic as far as the book, but it's something I wanted to post here.: From time to time I have seen people post that their strategy for a major clean-out is to pretend that they had to get ready to move in a month or two. Everything that would not be packed to move would be eliminated. I have never been able to get this to work for me, because I KNOW that I am not really going to move anywhere. Today I thought of a different strategy. This house has been occupied by someone who looks a lot like me for the past 25+ years. This new me wants to take possession of the house, but needs to dispossess the house of the former tenant's belongings. This previous tenant, who happens to look a lot like me, except a little younger, Agreed to abandon the premises, but because she has left in a hurry she has abandoned all of her posessions. In order to make this house into the home I want it to be I have to eliminate the all the excess clutter from the house that does not fit the image of what a neat and tidy house should be. I don't know if I can make it work,but it's worth a shot!
|
|
|
Post by missjean on Jul 15, 2012 13:41:28 GMT -5
This new me wants to take possession of the house, but needs to dispossess the house of the former tenant's belongings. (...) I don't know if I can make it work,but it's worth a shot! That's actually a good strategy. While having guests, I had the strange experience of living as if my home were a vacation cottage. I had no problem giving away clothes, books, etc. because it all seemed to exist for the pleasure and use of my guests. It didn't hurt that the teens are used to second-hand goods; they were thrilled getting "new" things! The longer they stayed, the less attached I became to what I came to think of as "outlying" items: books, DVDs, etc. We all paid attention to the most important things: clean dishes, dirty clothes in the hamper, shaking beach sand out of rugs, etc.
|
|
|
Post by angelinahedgehog on Jul 15, 2012 13:41:50 GMT -5
MissJean, you have met the enemy, and it is you. (Stinks, doesn't it?) Now you know (suspect, at least) some of the reasons behind the mess, you may be able to work with/around them more directly. Fingers crossed!
Ally, that trick sounds like something that would mesh really well with SHED, and it's idea of keeping the best of the past and heaving the rest to make room for the present and the future. Fingers crossed!
(Yes, my fingers are multitaskers.)
As for me, I tagged the books on Friday, yesterday I got three books off the to-do list and today I moved five more off. I still feel slightly overwhelmed when I look at them, but I'm prone to that. (Seriously, I can feel overwhelmed by to-dos that are DONE. My brain takes a while to catch up with the fact that item X is done and gone and off the list. Which means... I have pay attention, because there might be something really and truly overwhelming, but it may just be my brain living in a different time zone.)
This isn't something I can do in an hour or a day or even a week, though. I've minimized the time needed, and I've reduced the risk of redoing stuff by accident, but still, this will take many hours over several months.
Which means... kitchen stuff. Right. I'll get back to that.
|
|
|
Post by missjean on Jul 15, 2012 19:53:35 GMT -5
Angelina, your progress in the book department is admirable. I posted in Listzilla an embarrassing epiphany about my books.
I thought I'd pop in and mention that I had a mini-breakthrough in understanding how SHED works. Last night I talked to friend of mine who lost her job in the spring. She decided to clean closets for a "porch sale" (the sort of sale people have at Victorian houses that have a garage - or carriage house - inconveniently far from the street). She found business suits and evening gowns from previous employment, as well as things she didn't remember owning. Ally's "inherited house" reminded me of it; Another Person put the stuff in the closets.
A couple things she said resonated with me. First, she is operating on a deadline because that's how she functions best. It's also how I used to manage projects when we worked together years ago. I started thinking about SHEDding as a large project that I could break into smaller chunks and assign deadlines - and then I figured out that "entry points" would work if I looked at each point as a tree trunk leading into branches and twigs. So my office is an entry point, the branches are the physical work zones, and the twigs are the activities I do in each area. (And how I allot my time to pursue the activities could be the leaves...)
Second, it didn't matter that her husband has hidden stashes; it's about her. I talked to her about SHED, and she explained how she is getting ready for a new job, whatever it is. Until then, I didn't really understand what Julie Morgenstein meant about picking a theme but being open to change. Right now, she doesn't have a job title. She has "looking for a job," which means SHEDding in her wardrobe and her schedule. When she's hired, her theme will shift.
So "Venture" - my current theme - is broad enough right now.
|
|
|
Post by angelinahedgehog on Jul 16, 2012 20:43:00 GMT -5
MissJean, all I can say is that I'm not sure I would have recognized the technical error if we hadn't been doing this read-along. So what I've done (found the technical error, taken steps to remedy it, and get started on the backlog) may be admirable, but... you helped!
I have some of those books too - or their cousins. If I got rid of those books, I'd reclaim a fair amount of space. And a fair amount of to-dos involving reading books that I'm really not all that interested in.
There's something about books... But there's something about room to grow.
It sounds like the visualization of the tree works for you. So would physical items (and activities and time commitments) that no longer work for you be like branches that have weakened and need to be pruned?
|
|
|
Post by missjean on Jul 17, 2012 0:03:36 GMT -5
There's something about books... But there's something about room to grow. It sounds like the visualization of the tree works for you. So would physical items (and activities and time commitments) that no longer work for you be like branches that have weakened and need to be pruned? I have always liked books. I have been in maintenance in that area only because I learned 1) book collections make moving more difficult and 2) over-filling shelves damages the books and the bookcases. I like that idea of pruning the tree of deadwood and then weak branches.
|
|
|
Post by disarray on Jul 17, 2012 19:10:46 GMT -5
I've ordered this book through my library. I'll probably get it this weekend, so that I can join in on these discussions! Woot!
I'm curious about this treasure idea that some of you have spoke of. I'm sure I'll figure out everything after I get the book. But from what I gather the book says to figure out what the "treasures" are (most important items), and that makes it easier to throw out all the non-treasure stuff. Right? I'm interested in doing that with my children's book collection. I want to keep just 100 books, and I tried to pull out all my definite keepers yesterday, and it was way over one hundred. Hopefully SHED can help me.
|
|
|
Post by angelinahedgehog on Jul 17, 2012 21:15:19 GMT -5
disarray, it will probably make more sense once you have the book, but yes, you've got the basic idea.
In ordinary organizing, you ask what (if anything) you would be willing to get rid of. And if you don't want to get rid of anything, that's fine too - you can still get organized.
With SHED, you ask what you really want to keep. Everything else is a candidate for heaving. And this is not optional - you need to get rid of stuff to make room for the next phase of your life.
It's a different mindset, and it's one that enabled me to get to a 90% purge of papers, as I mentioned elsewhere. Instead of asking whether I would be willing to get rid of paper X, I checked to see if it was on my treasure list. Most things weren't. And most things went.
It was intensely unsettling. I was getting rid of 90% of my paper! Surely I was getting rid of things that I would want or need or, or, or... But no, I knew what my treasures were. And I knew that I had saved those. And the rest could go.
Heaving that 90% was intensely unsettling. Knowing that I was saving the 10% that was truly important to me was priceless.
|
|