Hopeful
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 19
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Post by Hopeful on Oct 18, 2008 14:36:34 GMT -5
Hi, I'm new, and I never thought this would be something I'd need help for, but here I am. I always kept everything immaculate as a child, and was very helpful in cleaning the rest of the house with the family, but when I moved out, I became depressed, and everything fell to pieces. I move frequently just so my apartment will be clean and I can start over, but it seems like each apartment is a step down. Smaller and smaller, with angrier and nosier landlords, and this next one I'm considering has no dishwasher! I've gotten rid of most of my possessions, and I'm now down to just the bare essentials. I THINK I can do this, but this new potential apartment (the best I've found in two months, I might add) seems to have downright abusive management, and monthly INSPECTIONS! It seems less like an apartment and more like a group home for wayward girls! I'm hoping this can motivate me to keep everything tidy and up to date so I don't get overwhelmed, but I have the interest already, and I'm afraid this is just going to stress me into doing nothing. The management talks openly about its other tenants, pure gossip, without any prompting. On the tour, I was treated to information about dozens of tenants on different floors, and how one, gasp, had dishes in his sink! I'm very embarrassed about my situation, and want so badly for everything to be nice. I don't know what would be worse; being screamed at by the management or having them gossip about me to all my neighbors. I'm scared silly, and just really hoping this site will help
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Post by messymimi on Oct 18, 2008 15:08:08 GMT -5
Welcome, helpless !
The living situation you are considering sounds like it could turn sour very quickly. On the one hand, you have the looming monthly inspection that might motivate you to clean. On the other you have the negativity and gossip of the management. Even if you kept your place spotless and they never had any reason to gossip about you (not likely, people like that are notorious for finding even the least reason to talk), would you want to hear so much negativity about your neighbors all of the time?
Yes, you can do this, but are you sure you want to in that particular location? You can keep a clean apartment, but the pressure of that place might push you the other way.
Is it possible for you to stay where you are and practice new habits there, before moving again?
Whatever decision you make, keep coming back. This place can also motivate.
messymimi
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Oct 18, 2008 15:35:00 GMT -5
Welcome! Is there any reason why you have to move right now, besides the squalor? If not, I would also recommend staying where you are, and learning new habits. It might be easier than you think. You seem to have the motivation! What happens to your squalor when you move by the way? Do you leave everything, or throw everything away? I'm just curious cause I moved my squalor with me. I thought I had gotten rid of it, but it found me in my new place.
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Hopeful
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 19
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Post by Hopeful on Oct 18, 2008 15:35:03 GMT -5
Thank you for your quick reply!
I think you're right, and I'm going to have to compromise on other things, like location and convenience, to get some privacy and respect.
I really don't like to hear negative things about others, and it might even demotivate me more, and make me less interested in making things easier on the management and their building.
I think a small part of me wants it to come down to a sour situation just so I'll be forced to clean, and everything can be NICE again! I really think I downplay how much *I* want it all to be clean.
Isn't it silly how much we try to motivate ourselves, and then look back on all the effort and think, "if it wasn't something we wanted, why did we try so hard?".
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Hopeful
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 19
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Post by Hopeful on Oct 18, 2008 15:52:34 GMT -5
Welcome! Is there any reason why you have to move right now, besides the squalor? If not, I would also recommend staying where you are, and learning new habits. It might be easier than you think. You seem to have the motivation! Thank you Other than the squalor, there is horrible noise from people across the street, who gather underneath my windowsill. I wake up at four in the morning to shouting, arguing, disagreements, and profanity, fall asleep to very loud music not of my tastes, and am awoken periodically in between by the sounds of bottles breaking and people shrieking, sometimes in a positive way, sometimes not.. The area is not safe and I can't hear myself think! What happens to your squalor when you move by the way? Do you leave everything, or throw everything away? I'm just curious cause I moved my squalor with me. I thought I had gotten rid of it, but it found me in my new place. In terms of clutter, or in terms of actual possessions? I don't have much to bring in either category, to be honest! I don't even have a tv! I have a bed, a laptop, about two weeks worth of clothing, and the "cat stuff" (litterboxes, a sealable container for keeping their food fresh, bowls). I took a very strict approach to ridding myself of squalor. I told myself that if I couldn't keep it clean, I couldn't keep it! That worked very well for a while, but it doesn't work on floors.. you kind of have to keep those, as it turns out . I got rid of the tv and such because I figured I would do better without any distractions, but I just busy my time volunteering, and when I'm not doing that, I find myself just sitting in my apartment, staring at nothing, doing *nothing*. I keep everything well maintained for a month or two, but I am very prone to depression. I'm juggling a lot of personal and career issues, and when a new one hits, I feel overwhelmed and fall all to pieces once again. I'll lay in bed, and the litterbox won't get cleaned, I won't eat, clothes won't be washed, I'm lucky if *I* get washed! When I've recovered some, it seems like there's no point. I feel like I've already failed, and up and down cleaning isn't the same as being clean. The only thing that motivates me at that point is the wellbeing of the animals, and I have to get up once again to empty the boxes, and clean their bowls. My dishes won't get done, and I won't go to the store for new food, and I'm sick of spending so much on delivery that doesn't taste good and isn't good for me, so sometimes I don't even bother eating dinner. It's all a lot of inaction, so there isn't much garbage or trash. It's mostly just the constant unavailability of dishes, that awful catbox, and the general slow, creeping, dingy quality that is trying to attack every surface. It all creates a very stressful environment, and each time I move, I remember, and I tell myself I CAN'T hit that slump, but each time.. there it is
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Post by crazycatlady on Oct 21, 2008 20:42:16 GMT -5
Welcome, Hopeful. I like your name!
Two suggestions come to mind. The first is what I use...a regular housekeeper. She comes every two weeks, and that motivates me and my family to do a quick surface clearing so she can vacuum, scrub and wipe. She knows that we are messy people, and has been so kind and helpful.
The second suggestion is to seek professional help for your depression. No one should have to feel so bad, and perhaps you could get a referral from your family doctor? I work in the mental health field, so I know that there is help for people who suffer from depression!
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