-
Hello.
Although some of you know my history from the former forum, I realized that lots of you don't know my history.
So I thought I would post a belated intro.
My original username at the old forum was "SeekingSerenity".
But ... after a while, I realized that I was was just sitting still and wanting a serene home. But I was afraid to do anything about it.
I thought about the "Serenity Prayer" from 12-Step groups.
"Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference"
I realized I wanted to find the courage to change.
I chatted with some dear friends and a suggestion was made to find a contrast to the name "Cowardly Lion" from the Wizard of Oz.
I wanted to keep my former username of SeekingSerenity, as I had already been posting for a few months under that name. So I combined the two.
I became CourageouslyLion_SeekingSerenity.
(On this forum I am CourageouslyLion_SeeksSerenity).
I often shorten it to just "Lioness".
Here is my story:
Hello. My name is Lioness and I am recovering from Fourth Degree Squalor. And from deep financial squalor.
I’ve found recovery from financial squalor by being a member of Debtors Anonymous. I’ve got several threads about that on the main forum.
Interesting factoid about me:
I was born with hardly any sense of smell. Some olfactory sensors appear to be missing. I was born that way. I’ve never smelled a skunk. I don’t know what body odor smells like. I’ve never smelled a ***. I cannot tell if the food in the refrigerator has gone bad. I cannot smell the litterbox. My brother is also olfactorily impaired.
I’ve joined a forum for people with congenital “anosmia” (lack of sense of smell) but as there is no cure, there isn’t much discussion. We just remind each other to use lots of deodorant, to have smoke detectors that are loud, to use only electric appliances and not use gas appliances as we cannot smell gas leaks, and to throw out all food in refrigerator after a fixed amount of days. Not much else to discuss.
I’m not completely anosmic. I can smell a few things, but barely.
I’m not bothered by visual clutter either. I can walk into any room in complete disarray, and it doesn't phase me.
I think I just don't pay much attention to physical appearances. I tend to be focused more on the mental and spiritual. This has advantages and disadvantages. Obviously.
Messiness never bothered me. I’ve always been messy.
I've always taken great care of my pets. But I never took care of my home or myself.
I knew that I wasn’t supposed to live this way. So I joined Squalor Survivors to LEARN how to care about my surroundings.
In April 2006, I joined the former forums at Squalor Survivors.
I read the forums for about a year or two… each day. Reading about people who WANTED to change. Who WANTED to learn to be clean. I was never interested in cleaning. But I knew that be reading every day, I would gain an interest. It worked. After more than a year, I finally began to WANT to desqualor.
After reading and posting for nearly two years … I had finally I become ready to begin desqualoring, -- and at that time, I got an inspection notice. My landlord was selling the place and the purchaser needed to do a structural inspection. With the help of a member of the forum – who came to my home -- I spent a couple of days doing massive cleaning and stash-and-dash. The inspection went well.
My biggest issue with squalor is Demand Resistance. I just didn’t want to clean, as it wasn’t of any importance to me. But slowly, I have been changing my attitudes.
After the grand desqualorization, I did maintain my home for about 5 months. In the past few months, I’ve started slipping again, but am beginning to pull myself back out of the mire.
And I love to dance.
-
