OnTiptoe
New Member
Joined: September 2008
Posts: 13
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Post by OnTiptoe on Oct 23, 2008 0:17:31 GMT -5
HI all!
We made it! I was able to pack and store only the stuff I really wanted to keep for the rest of my life! I rented a 5 x 10 storage unit and didn't even fill it full! The only furniture I saved was my king size bed, which I love. Now I'm wondering if that was even worth saving, given what it will cost me to move it. Books, which I paired down too, my clothing wardrobe box wasn't even filled and I left nearly 2/3s of the closet behind, including stuff I sewed for myself 30 yrs ago and thought I needed to keep because I made it. I realized I would never wear it again, as I will probably never be that size. So, I left it too.
I left everything from the kitchen stuff and I had TONS of stuff! The only thing I really would have wanted to keep and store was my eight place setting blue dishes, which I loved. But they were all packed in separate boxes from the move I made in July and scattered and I didn't have time to unpack all the boxes to sort it out. Nice to know, though that a neighbor, who is just wonderful, spent considerable time in my apt after I left it going through and got all those dishes for her use. So, someone who had a need is enjoying them.
The worst thing happened the last day as I was trying to get all the stuff to storage. The apt manager had called social services about my unit and squalor. So, while I'm trying to get the truck unloaded at uhaul the social worker is being given free access to view and quite possibly photograph my chaos. And because I didn't have time to talk to her that afternoon, I was served by two policeman late that night, Monday sept 30th, with notice to report to the crisis center the next day to answer to charges of child neglect. Man, I was so mad! Feeling like my life was reeling out of control AGAIN, and I've been through this crap so many times before with social workers knocking on my door because of some sanctimonious, do gooder's "anonymous" report.
Well, I cried, and phoned friends to pray. Got the support to get over emotionalness of it and finished getting down to business. I will tell you,though. Risking, again, the involvement of social workers and keeping us from our goal of moving along, really put perspective on any of the junk I could have spent more time with, or NOT! I did NOT!
I packed up bare essentials and clothing for trip. Made ONE more trip of junk to my moms place the next morning after making my appt with the social worker. She was pissed that I didn't bring the kids to appt. I explained, several times, that I had no transportation. My old apt was only a block from the crisis center. After the threats, I didn't bring the kids back to the apt for the last days we were there. I was afraid that cops would try to take them away. You see, I have SERIOUS history with these folks! Anyway, I carefully, clearly explained to her that we would no longer be affected by the squalor, as we were walking away from most of it. Told her exactly where we were going and where kids would be enrolled in school, etc. She said, let me talk to my supervisor and I'll call you if I need you to bring the kids. Heard nothing more from her and we were SAFE to get out of town!
Later that day, Tues 30th, we rented a vehicle from Enterprise. My car was still not even diagnosed for the problems or possibility of repair at that point. I spent all morning loading the van we rented for our trip out. It was a '08 Chrysler town and country and I was glad that we got it because, while I loved my car, it wasn't big enough for us and the stuff. The T & C was perfect and a VERY nice ride throughout! We finally hit the road at 2pm, Wed, October 1st, my son's 7th b-day! I cried after clearing out my car and saying "goodbye" to that. It had been so much help to me. I signed the title over to my dad, since he had payed it off for earlier this year. He later told me that the repairs were not worth it and he donated the car to the local PBS station in my name.
When we got to VA, I told my mom how glad I was that my car broke down when it did and that we got to make that trip in such a nice vehicle which was perfectly fitted and had extra room for everything we needed to bring. Mom came with me and then drove the vehicle back to Colorado, so we could avoid the exorbitant charges for turning it in here. WE had to buy a new tire because we were in Columbus with a flat tire on a sat and could not get enterprise to authorize payment for it. So, after all was said and done, we got refunded for the tire and an extra days rent, so after 9 day rental it all cost $130.
When we got out of the state, I felt so much more relief and my peace and happiness increased with every mile we put behind us. We arrived to our new home in VA on Sunday, Oct 5th. We are all SO happy to be here! We're sharing a nice big house in a lovely country locale. I realized that it had been over 20 yrs since I lived somewhere with NO traffic noise nearby. It's been so nice to look up at night and see stars. I love going out to take the kids to the bus in the morning and hearing the breeze in the trees and bird's song.
Yes, I have my small moments of anxiety about what I left behind. There were so many boxes I didn't have time to go through. But really identifying exactly what I have missed is hard to do. It was such chaos! Our hosts here just moved from another house, which was lost to the bank and are renting this good sized place. They are caught up in their own squalor saga with still having stuff to retrieve at the old house and wondering when the boom will drop there and the stuff be put out on the street. Can't seem to get up the energy or time to get it all here. Meanwhile, this house has everything a person might need, including three vehicles for two adults. So we have a station wagon to transport kids in.
I decided to bring my computer, because it's what I have used the most in the past year. My friend found a monitor, no problem. He's a system's manager for a large server and knows the stuff. He set me up with internet, but in working with my computer, saw how I needed major upgrades. So, he's gone and bought me a new hard drive computer where he can transfer all my stuff to it with twice the space and speed. He bought me a new espresso maker, appreciating how much I love good coffee. He bought me a nice new blanket when the nights got chilly. I've got the kids new sheets and clothes with gift cards we got from their old school social worker.
And all the way across country I saw the sprawl that is our lovely land of have, and acquire. There are places EVERYWHERE to get more stuff, if I think I have a need for anything! Leaving behind some memories was kind of hard, but not all those memories are good and I'm starting fresh. I decided not to keep things I liked if they reminded me of my ex. The things I really wanted to keep were already stored by him over a year ago and I was never able to get access to that storage, even though I had a court order for him to make it available to me. He refused to pay the storage costs all summer, so he could be "excused" in his mind from complying with the order.
A couple of days after I got here, I got a call from the lady at the storage. In Aug it was supposed to sell and my ex and I had made a plan to bid on it. But they ended up postponing the sale because of a problem with their bookkeeping. Anyway, they did the sale and his bid won. And she could not get a hold of him. He was arrested on Sat, Oct 4th for holding his current gf at gunpoint. He's awaiting trial for felony menacing. SO, our last opportunity for that stuff was lost. And if I had not gotten out of town when I did, I might have made the financial contribution to get that stuff back. Or I could have been the one facing down a gun! CRAZY!
MY moral(if there is one) : Nothing in my life has gone seriously wrong or I'm losing my mind or anything like that because I ditched all that junk and moved cross country. If anything, I feel free and happier than I have been in YEARS! I spent so much time this past year worrying about how to not only house my kids, but house my junk. Now, I'm free to enjoy my kids on a whole new level and with a new perspective. That last dig by the dept of social services really brought it all home. No amount of crap is worthing losing my kids!
I know how hard we all struggle. Your's have been mine this past year. Moving twice and leaving all the accumulation behind was definitely a process for me. I reached a point where I envied those who could just leave everything and make a journey on a whole new road. I am so proud of myself and the strength I found to make this happen.
I am looking forward to all that my future holds and that I have space in my life to receive many more blessings.
I have new perspective on what we all struggle with and how to make my future better than my past has been.
I hope you can all manage to make the changes which bring life and healing to you as well.
Many blessings,
R
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Post by messymimi on Oct 23, 2008 14:56:26 GMT -5
Hi, ontiptoe!
I had to go back and reread your original intro (I'm an old lady with no memory), but now that I have, I can see how far you have come.
May your new life and new start bring you many blessings and much joy.
messymimi
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 26, 2008 16:33:48 GMT -5
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Post by crazycatlady on Oct 30, 2008 21:37:44 GMT -5
Oh, OnTipToe, I am so happy that you have broken free from your "stuff"! I look forward to continuing hear from you. 
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baglady
New Member
makin' bags
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 33
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Post by baglady on Oct 30, 2008 22:04:13 GMT -5
Wow, you have been thru a lot and made it. Thanks for doing the update on what is going on with your life now. I am new here and wanted to say HI to you.
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Post by metamorpha on Oct 31, 2008 10:00:17 GMT -5
I'm very glad you've been able to find a new start.  We'll be here if you need support. |
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