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Post by def6 on Apr 25, 2014 12:43:39 GMT -5
Hello Emmy, So happy to read about all of the progress you have made.
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emmy
New Member
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 23
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Post by emmy on Apr 26, 2014 4:22:03 GMT -5
It's going well for the most part! I've managed to keep myself from adding to the mess. I've also gotten another bag out yesterday. I'm stressed from work (it's a really stressful job for me actually) but I'm hanging in there!
Work has kept me crazy busy so I don't have much time for anything other than the necessities. A woman left so I'm taking on double work loads temporarily.
I've been shredding pliable plastics and paper to fit more things into each bag. It takes a little more time but it calms me a little and I'm getting way more done than I normally would, so I figure it's alright. And cutting down on my total bags to toss really helps since I'm in "sneak" mode.
I have a long road ahead of me still. But I won't give up just yet. Or at all. I need to do this for myself.
I hope you're all doing okay! The weather has been beautiful here!
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Post by whatgirl on Apr 27, 2014 0:56:56 GMT -5
You sound like you are making great progress! You are totally doing this in a great way, one bag at a time. And being conscientious about not adding to the mess is a huge, huge change! Ever since I started doing the same thing, by being very attentive to what I brought in and made an effort to take out more than I bring in, I have noticed that it is a lot easier to pick up after myself because there is a lot less trash accumulating. You are ahead of the game as long as you continue to take out more than you bring in. I am so happy for you! Keep going!
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Post by joyinvirginia on Apr 28, 2014 7:48:06 GMT -5
Good work Emmy! Keep doing a little something every day. And keep adding small things to the household trash, and one day you won't need to sneak.
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Apr 28, 2014 19:58:35 GMT -5
Emmy,
Welcome to this wonderful, loving family!
I commend you for joining us. I have received more support, advice and encouragement here than anywhere else in my life.
I have received a great deal of counseling. It is great that you are "looking into therapy services right now to deal with my personal issues." Don't be discouraged and don't put off your search ("But I know nothing will help until I get my mess under control.") Therapy will help. Be proactive. Indicate to the prospective counselors you are looking into that you want to specifically work on your desire to address the mess.
I thank Arid for the following idea: "So many of the good folks here (myself included!) struggle with the decision-making that is required for most decluttering." Decision-making is my primary problem. Something that you can celebrate and be motivated by is that decision-making might be relatively easy, given that you describe your room in the following way: 'I don't keep "items" or things that can be used, I hoard garbage.' I appreciate Arid naming this as '"no-brainer" stuff. You *know* that it all needs to go out of the house. It is easily identified by you.'
I ditto all the positive, loving messages stated above and send you much love!
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Apr 28, 2014 20:07:59 GMT -5
Hi again,
I concur with an earlier statement: "Even people with the cleanest houses get mice! The little critters come in when it is cold! they can get in thru the smallest crack."
I'm the cleanest and tidiest I've been in years (of course, this is not saying much considering how far I have to go in my transition from hoarder to order), but have had the most mice in the house we moved into in Dec 2012. There are numerous factors for the critters; in this case, we live next to a farm/field.
Having said that, I'm with you, Emmy, these things completely freak me out.
20 years ago, I was living alone and fixing up an odd little, odd 150-year-old house. Autumn arrived, as did the critters. I ended up staying with a friend for a week during which time she brought her cat over to prowl and scare them away. Had a neighbor set several traps while I arranged for a pest control professional to come in and set more humane mice catching units. All this really worked.
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Post by sue5000 on Apr 28, 2014 22:33:01 GMT -5
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Post by sue5000 on May 15, 2014 16:24:58 GMT -5
How are things going with you, emmy ?
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emmy
New Member
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 23
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Post by emmy on May 20, 2014 9:15:31 GMT -5
Well. I WAS doing okay. Until a few weeks ago. I don't even know what happened, really. I think it's because I wasn't feeling well and left the boards for a while.
I've let my garbage pile in my room even more. There's no floor visible and the mice are back. The piles of literal garbage are covering 90% of the room, on top of tons of already filed garbage bags. The piles reach halfway up the walls. I can't believe I let myself go back to this.
I feel so hopeless. My therapy is going nowhere. I can't focus on anything when I'm not home because I'm paranoid someone will try to get in my room. Yet I have no motivation or energy to do anything. But I'm fine laying around doing nothing.
I need to get back at it. Because even if my parents do try to get in and even if I feel like I won't ever get it all done, SOMETHING is better than what I've been doing these last few weeks. Which has been nothing.
I'm SO scared to even start again but no matter how scared I am I NEED to. I'm sick and tired of feeling like this. Living in terror. It's worth it to suffer this fear for just until I get cleaned up, rather than wait around and do nothing and feel like this for who knows how long. I'm tired of wondering whether life is even worth living.
Thanks for reading. This is such a hard process. But I need to do this.
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Post by OnTheMend on May 20, 2014 9:54:39 GMT -5
emmy - One thing I learned from Flylady that has been a huge help to me: You are never behind, just jump in from where you are, each day - heck, each hour - is a new beginning. Also: baby steps do work. What I learned from David Allen, the author of Getting Things Done: You cannot do a project, you can only do steps related to it. So: start a new, and take a baby step. You can do this and we are here to help. It's propably good idea to come here daily/often, it's true for me and many others too, this forum keeps us on the right tract!
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emmy
New Member
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 23
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Post by emmy on May 20, 2014 10:21:52 GMT -5
I think that's a big part of why I struggled the last few weeks. I just need to get up and going and stop putting off the inevitable. I'm going to make a point and put out at least a bag of garbage tomorrow morning. Sneaking around is the worst part. I think that's what keeps me from doing more than I could. But while I find out creative ways to get rid of everything, I should still be cleaning.
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Post by joyinvirginia on May 20, 2014 13:05:09 GMT -5
Here is a radical concept: could you ask your parents to help you get rid of the garbage bags? They already know something is up. They must, because the keeping the room locked all the time is showing that something is going on with your room. I don't know how much progress you can make until you get those bags OUT.
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Post by papermoon on May 20, 2014 16:12:23 GMT -5
emmy , it's really good to see you back. I had a feeling you had gotten stalled and discouraged again. That's happened to ALL of us, each and every one... so in that respect, you ARE right on track. Getting stuck is totally normal, so don't beat yourself up for being normal. You wrote: "I'm sick and tired of feeling like this. Living in terror. It's worth it to suffer this fear for just until I get cleaned up, rather than wait around and do nothing and feel like this for who knows how long. I'm tired of wondering whether life is even worth living." When I was stuck wallowing in one of the worst times of my life, a friend told me: "The only way out is through." I wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but I started repeating it to myself like a mantra. Any time I thought: "This is too hard, I hate it, I can't do it anymore"; I would counter by saying: "The only way out is through." So I would take another step forward, and another... and that's how I eventually got through it. Here's an idea to get yourself moving again... Start a new thread and set a challenge for yourself, say a bag a day. Even on days when it's only a lunch-sized bag, it's still a bag. Get it out of there. The size of the bag doesn't matter... what really matters is that you keep going through with it every day. The only way out is through.
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Post by sue5000 on May 22, 2014 0:04:01 GMT -5
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Post by whatgirl on May 22, 2014 1:53:12 GMT -5
Don't think of this as a setback because this time, you know what it feels like to get rid of several bags of garbage and see progress. That means you CAN do it. There is absolute proof that you can make progress so take heart in that.
I know what it is like to be so burdened by guilt that it is difficult to motivate yourself. The way I get past it is by planning on rewarding myself for making progress. That way, I focus on a future reward instead of guilt for the past. I reward myself in a variety of ways, sometimes it is as simple as being able to come and post here and announce my progress. Sometimes it's rewarding myself with some special treat to eat or buying something special. The best reward, however, is being able to tell myself that I DID it, that I completed this goal and that is awesome. Patting yourself on the back really does work. The trick is to make the goal small enough that you can definitely accomplish it. It might be just filling a bag halfway. Or spending 20 minutes before bed putting random trash into the bag. A small goal that allows you to feel good about finishing it. After a while, all those small goals will add up to a big one. It will sneak up on you, but it will happen. Baby steps and you'll get there!
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