messybessy
New Member
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 40 
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Post by messybessy on Oct 25, 2008 2:51:52 GMT -5
Hi! My name is Bessy and I am very messy. I have always been messy, I think I was born that way. My home is a high 2. Sometimes I falls as a 3 due to a large, fat cat, and an influx of mice. Every horizontal surface has something stacked on it. I have not seen my dining room table in a year. My house is 2600 sq ft so its not small. I just have too much stuff. Yes, I am a hoarder. I try to buy foods when they are on sale so I will have something to eat when times get lean, but all I am doing is feeding the mice. I have had 2 snakes follow the fat healthy mice into the house looking for a free easy meal. The mice are so fat they don't move too fast. The cat adds to the mice problem as he helps feed them. I see things on the side of the road that are still useful so I bring them home with me, thinking I will offer them on free cycle, but never get around to it. My home is as packed as a Salvation Army warehouse with all the things that have been given to me. I was going to start an eBay store to help supplement my single check, but have not gotten around to it. A lot of my "stuff" has come from my mother who has things given to her by family members who have had a family member die. She doesn't have room or a use for them so they end up at my house. I feel guilty if I say no and it adds to the collection. When she comes to my house she always complains at how cluttered it is( more on this later). I work 4 12 hr nights a week and spend 1 day a week with my mother and new grandson (DD,SIL, and baby live with my mother). We live 40 miles apart and I feel guilty if I don't go because mom has terminal cancer, although she is doing very well right now. DH is no better than I am even though he doesn't work right now. I have 1 day I can actually clean up but I always find other things to do instead. I have read many of the stories and looked at the pictures that others have posted. These have inspired me to at least try to overcome this, get my house in order and learn to say NO MORE STUFF!!!
Thank you for reading my rambling story as it is no more organized than my home.
MessyBessy
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Post by Arid on Oct 25, 2008 4:13:54 GMT -5
If there is a direct correlation between how you write and with getting your house in order, you should do well because you are one of the better writers here.
Welcome to the board!
Arid
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Post by pegasus48 on Oct 25, 2008 13:19:35 GMT -5
Welcome, Messybessy! You have recognized the problem, and it sounds like you are ready to fight the clutter monster. I would suggest you begin by refusing to bring anything else in. No roadside pickups, no donations by friends and relatives, no garage sales, etc., etc. Once you stop the influx, it's time to toss, toss, toss!! Or donate, donate, donate. Do not wait to sell these things "someday". Someday never comes and the mess is not worth the amount of money you would make anyway. The more stuff goes out the happier you will be. Good luck!!  |
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Post by messymimi on Oct 25, 2008 20:41:12 GMT -5
Welcome, messybessy !
Your story has some similarities with mine. Always messy, large house, too much stuff, especially from family members. Although I do not pick up side of the road items, my Sweetie, trained as an archaeologist, loves to do that. They learn about civilizations by going through their trash, but we could live without his bringing home his work! 
Funny that you should mention a Salvation Army warehouse when describing your stuff. A couple of times recently, here and elsewhere, I have heard people say that we should let Goodwill or Family Thrift Stores or Salvation Army store our stuff for us, so we don't have to live with it but can visit it whenever we want.  I find that it gave me a reality check. If I really need that widget, I will probably be able to replace it pretty easily. I don't have to keep it for "maybe someday".
Your time crunch, though it has different causes than mine, is also familiar territory. When we do get down time, decluttering is not at the top of the favorite things to do list. Sometimes Listzilla helps some people, others prefer to use the chat room and challenge each other to get things done. Do not regret any time that you spend with your mother, though.
It's good to have you on the forum.
messymimi
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Post by metamorpha on Oct 26, 2008 10:27:19 GMT -5
Hi messybessy I try to buy foods when they are on sale so I will have something to eat when times get lean, but all I am doing is feeding the mice.... I see things on the side of the road that are still useful so I bring them home with me, thinking I will offer them on free cycle, but never get around to it... I was going to start an eBay store to help supplement my single check, but have not gotten around to it... I have 1 day I can actually clean up but I always find other things to do instead. Sometimes it's hard to know where to start, but the above things give you a leg up. You know where a majority of this problem is originating and you can do something to change these things a little at a time.  One thing that helps me with groceries is making a menu plan for two weeks, making the grocery list based on that and then ONLY buying those things. I see the deals and get tempted but then remember ... if they aren't on the list, I can't buy them, and that IS for a good reason. I would also start listing things on Craigslist TODAY. One item a day. Forget about fixing it, cleaning it, pricing it to the get most out of it, etc. Price it to get the heck out of your cost. No matter what you get for it, the loss will be justified because of what you're getting in return. Good luck! |
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OnTiptoe
New Member
Joined: September 2008
Posts: 13
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Post by OnTiptoe on Oct 26, 2008 20:15:17 GMT -5
About saving stuff for "whenever I might need it".... My ex used to drive me crazy! He would always talk about having a particular something, but never know where to find it. One time I clocked it. He was trying to fix something on his truck and spent nearly 2 hours looking for the something he needed to use. To no avail. He finally went down to the local auto parts store, bought a new something, and fixed the truck. This took about an hour. What is point of having that something I'm saving for when I need it if I can't find it when I want to use it?  There are plenty of places to get stuff craigslist, ebay, thrift store, family dollar, and the dreaded hugest purveyor of STUFF, WalMart! What ever you are storing for that "whenever I need it" let it go! I once read in a book about Feng Shui, that if you're saving something for when you might need it, you are not trusting the universe to provide for you and your future. This thought really struck home for me. I realized that my hoarding was showing my lack of faith. If God is really my Jehovah Girah, my Provider, then I needed to let go and Let HIM provide for me and the days to come. Instead of creating stress in my environment and chaos for my family by saving stuff. Since then, I've been working to "repent" from it!  Good luck with your struggle Bessy. I know that you can make it happen because I did! I have another friend who advised this: whenever you get something new to you, you have to get rid of something old. Make the same rule apply to the entire household too Before Christmas comes, for example, get the kids to gather up toys to give away for thrift to make room for new gifts from Santa. I know you can make a difference in your house. Much Love,  R PS about the groceries.. good idea about making a list and being strict with yourself while shopping. I always seem to buy stuff and then find I had some already when I go to put it away! I need to discipline myself to keep to a list too! |
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Post by limegreen on Oct 27, 2008 12:36:22 GMT -5
Welcome Bessy! I have a tendency to buy food cheap, to eat it later, but have managed to curb that somewhat by habving one kitchen cabinet for dry goods, and one only. If it's full, we don't buy anymore "bargains" but I am often tempted. I am so demand resistant I cannot make myself make a list.
My mother uses me as a shortcut to thrift donations, now she's not mobile, I can actually give them away without offending her. One time, she bought one of them back, because it was a perfect match for the one I had, no kidding, it was the very same item. The ugly vase I just couldn't give away (I got rid of it to a church sale eventually).
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Post by crazycatlady on Oct 31, 2008 16:55:17 GMT -5
Welcome, MessyBessy! I'm so glad that you found us. When you have too much stuff, just taking bags of it to the Salvation Army or other drop-off is so helpful. Before help from these forums, I rarely dropped things off. Why? Because I had some bags for my brother's kids (who live out of state), some for a lady at church, some for the salvation army, etc etc etc. When I finally just said "enough", and gave it all to the salvation army, I really started making progress.
And now that my house is clean-ish, I am able to take some items to the lady at church, and the rest to the salvation army. I know it feels hopeless at the beginning, but you really can declutter. It may take some time, but you can do it, one bit at a time!
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