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Post by lessismore on Nov 3, 2008 12:19:09 GMT -5
Hi all. I posted briefly (on the old board) years ago. I stopped posting, but I continued to read the board daily and joined the new site as soon as it was created. Most of you probably don't remember me, but I feel like I know most of you. I've decided it's time for me to stop lurking in the shadows and become a contributing member again.
My story: My mom and grandmother kept "perfect" homes, and we usually had a housekeeper in addition to their regular cleaning and my chores. My room was always the exception--it was a wreck. It was a point of contention with my mom until she finally gave up one day and shut my door. My step-dad would bet me $20 every month that i couldn't keep my room clean for 30 days. I never won the bet, not once. Many times, I would decide that I was going to clean my room from top to bottom, but my methods were counterproductive. I would dump everything out of my drawers and closet into the middle of the floor in hopes of purging and organizing. After a few hours, I would lose my motivation and the mess would be worse than when I began.
I moved into a tiny apartment when i left for college. I actually liked having a clean home, so I vowed to keep my place clean. BUT, I got a puppy. Within a few weeks of living on my own, I was in third degree squalor, and no one could come over. A year later, I met and began dating another messy--we lived together for seven years. During those years, our pet population grew, and the mess multiplied. After our relationship ended, I moved into a small cottage. I had very few possessions and clean slate. I managed to keep up with the cleaning for a while, but I was working from home (and posting to this board), so maintenance became a fun game that I had time for.
I went back to grad school and moved into a larger home about two and a half years ago. With more schoolwork than I ever imagined possible, two dogs, and five cats, things began to slip. I never returned to 3rd degree.....wait, I take that back......third degree has been limited to around the litter boxes in the garage, but I have a mess I can't seem to conquer. Recently, it's gotten worse.
I will be finished with my last requirements for my degree in a couple of weeks and am moving to another state with my girlfriend (for clarification, i'm female). I haven't packed a single item. I don't even have boxes. I don't know where to begin, and I don't want to simply move the mess.
Anyway, that's where I've been and where I am today. It's good to be back.
Thanks,
Less
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Post by notsomessyshell on Nov 3, 2008 13:01:14 GMT -5
Welcome back! I am so glad I found this site. I wish I had found the other one years ago!
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Nov 3, 2008 13:03:14 GMT -5
Welcome back! I hope posting again is going to help you out even more than lurking.  I can certainly relate to wanting to get rid of as much clutter as possible before a move. I recently moved too, and I thought I had gotten rid of my clutter, but when I moved in, I still had way too much after purging about 1/3 of my belongings before the move. Hopefully you will have better success than I did! |
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Post by messymimi on Nov 3, 2008 20:52:05 GMT -5
Welcome back, lessismore  !
So, you will have another chance to start over by moving, and you find yourself stuck. I am often stuck.
There could be several reasons. Perfectionism, demand resistance, the false and often subconscious idea that we work best under pressure (because that is how we have always done it before, and it worked).
Are you in any way ambivalent about the move? Like the state you live in and don't want to leave? That could also make for reluctance to start.
Is finishing school taking up enormous amounts of time and energy? That could also make you not want to get going. You might just want to crash at home if you are tired from having a lot to do elsewhere.
Well, whatever the cause, you know you have to begin. Remember that there is no one right place to begin for everyone. All you can do is get a few boxes and dig in, remembering that everything you keep you must move, haul back out of the boxes, find a place for, and maintain.
Have you thought about trying listzilla? It can be motivating to check off lists, or list accomplishments. Or go in to chat and ask someone to challenge you.
You've come a long way, and it's good to have you back. You will get this done, don't give up.
messymimi
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Post by pegasus48 on Nov 3, 2008 21:49:29 GMT -5
Welcome back! Step number one: get boxes and contractor heavy duty trash bags. Put only what you absolutely love and those things you actually use on a regular basis in the boxes. Everything else gets bagged for trash or donation. Be ruthless!!! |
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Post by lessismore on Nov 3, 2008 23:01:29 GMT -5
Thanks for the welcomes and suggestions.
I wouldn't really say that I'm ambivalent about the move. I'm ready for a change (although this one is somewhat big and scary), and my girlfriend and I have been doing the long-distance thing for a year. I'm tired of traveling and ready to be in one place.
I do struggle with perfectionism. Big time.
School has been pretty draining. I didn't end up teaching this semester, but I've been working non-stop on my thesis and presenting at conferences. It should be officially OVER in a little more than a week. It's almost like I can't move to the next big project until I put my research to bed.
I posted to Listzilla today and it definitely helped. I didn't get everything on my list accomplished, but I certainly did more than I would have had I not made a list. I managed to get one huge pile of papers out the door. The stacks from school seem endless, but I made the first step. My goal is to move as little as possible.
I'll keep posting.
Thanks!
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baglady
New Member
makin' bags
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 33
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Post by baglady on Nov 4, 2008 4:47:38 GMT -5
Just wanted to say HI I like your user name it is a good motto |
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Fancy
New Member
Okay,okay, ...I'm dreaming! =)
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 19
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Post by Fancy on Nov 5, 2008 7:20:18 GMT -5
Welcome back! Step number one: get boxes and contractor heavy duty trash bags. Put only what you absolutely love and those things you actually use on a regular basis in the boxes. Everything else gets bagged for trash or donation. Be ruthless!!!
Lessismore, Way to Go on getting even more done! You're on your way toward moving only what you really want. Good Luck! |
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815 
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Post by hopehope on Nov 6, 2008 13:33:44 GMT -5
 Hi, less. welcome ! glad you came out of hiding -- and so many lovely responses! hopehope
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Post by lessismore on Nov 6, 2008 20:15:22 GMT -5
Thank you, Hope. Everyone has been very kind. |
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Post by limegreen on Nov 6, 2008 20:54:16 GMT -5
Hey less, welcome to the board from another sista! There's a couple few of us about here, hidden under the clutter. Girls who like girls can be messy too. Infact, when I think about it, in my non-scientifically selected sample, I think we are messier than most. Defintley, there are more shoes!  |
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Post by lessismore on Nov 6, 2008 21:32:33 GMT -5
Amen to that, Lime!
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Post by crazycatlady on Nov 10, 2008 21:10:32 GMT -5
Welcime, LessIsMore! So glad that you are posting. What a lot you have on your plate...congrats on finishing up your degree.
Keep posting in Listzilla. I don't post there much anymore, but I feel listzilla was crucial in teaching me how to accomplish things and feel proud of my work. And that was a key to finding my way out of squalor.
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