phoenixcat &
magda both said it well.
italianlady:
Get it Clean.
Then.
Stop.
Obsessing.
ETE or PUPA every day, every room. Not every speck of hair on the floor, just put away what you used or arrived. Wipe counters, pick up the tidbits you see on the floor, paper, popcorn, etc.
Empty the Dishwasher, "keep" dirty dishes in the DW. Run it when full or daily (or handwash daily)
Change beds weekly. Do laundry on a schedule. All done at once, or a load a day, or every other day. PUT IT ALL AWAY. There are 4 steps to laundry: WASH - DRY - FOLD/HANG - PUT AWAY (Gathering is not necessary if you ETE/PUPA) Sorting can be a 5th step.
Mini clean each room weekly, quick dust & vac the middles/paths (no moving furniture). Clean all baths once weekly.
Put deep cleaning on a rotating schedule. One room a week, so deep cleaning is done every (however many rooms you have). This is when you move the furniture, dust the molding, baseboards, detail clean the window woodwork.
Children keep own rooms clean. Can be taught to change bed, launder their own sheets, towels, clothing. Can assign each family member laundry room days of the week. Midnight to midnight works. In the morning, Load washer. After school, dry/fold/put away.
Deep Clean rotation:
Kitchen (plus Dining Room)
Living Room
Bathroom
Family Room/Hobby Room
Your Own Bedroom
Add rooms not listed
In the female line of which I am a part:
My g-grandmother was a cleanie
My grandmother was a messie
my mother was a cleanie
I am a messie (58)
my daughter is a cleanie (28)
my g-dau struggles to keep her room clean (9)
I grew up with neatness and orderliness. Reasonable. Guest ready. Not obsessed about every cat hair. But, the cat hair was removed from every surface weekly.
For a period of time, as an adult living at home, my "job" was the family housekeeper. Dad worked & also had a side business that mom was very active in. With a home that was neat, tidy & orderly up front, I did a fine job keeping it going.
But, when I has been my own home, and working full time, I have not done well at all.
Then multiple traumas, and I slid into squalor.
But, I do have experience with "normal".