anna
New Member
Joined: November 2008
Posts: 4
|
Post by anna on Nov 17, 2008 1:38:40 GMT -5
Hello everyone  My name's Anna and I'm so glad I've found you!! It's been some days now that I'm reading through the forum and the website and I have to say it OPENED MY EYES! I am so happy for all of you making progress and start enjoying your life again, the way all of you deserve it! Some things about me...I'm 25, living in a two room appartment on my own, with no friends, overweight, under depression and of course my house is craptacular. I only clean up when my mother is visiting. Imagine a super clean home, sparkly bathroom etc. but the closets full of clothes books stuff all together pushed and locked so they'll fall out again when she leaves. And in 1-2 days u can't see the surfaces of the tables, later on the bed, the floor etc. You see, I am embarrassed of it and I don't want her to know so I hide it very very well... Unfortunately the last 10 months my sister's family had an accident and my mother had to move in with her to help out. In that time I was always the one visiting them, which allowed me to let my home out of control...It was easy to find excuses in order to keep them away. Even as a kid, I remember keeping every single thing, but back then it was all perfectly organized... Too much clutter in the room but it was sorted and neat. Later as a teen it all mingled together and lived happily in my closets/drawers... As a student I had finally the freedom to let loose and clean only once a month when mom was visiting. So one day I googled "depression messy house" and came across the word "squalor" which I'd never heard of before! My first language isn't english. Articles, websites...squalorsurvivors (!!!) came up and I read and read and cried my eyes out. I could relate to each and every one!! You can't imagine how much I appreciate every word written here, how happy I am for every step you all took to free yourself of this The last 2 days, I've started cleaning up again, mostly throwing away things. Things that reminded me of good times that I could never give up and I have still a lot to do!! I don't know what degree that is, I know it can get worse though. I'll describe the situation of my house later today. Made a schedule with coffee breaks in between. It's 8:30 am and off I go again to continue cleaning!! Sorry for the not so proper introduction, it's hard for me at the moment I can't thank YOU enough for giving me hope, better than any psychiatrist I've seen. You're all in my thoughts and I'll try to be more present and support everyone when I find the strength again. Hugs  Anna |
|
|
|
Post by Sapphire on Nov 17, 2008 3:40:01 GMT -5
Welcome Anna!! You've made an important first step! I am really glad we've been able to help you, if only in a small way. I wish I could hide my squalour! But unfortunately, I've had to resort to excuses not to let my mother or friends in! You're doing the right thing, by scheduling coffee breaks. A lot of people use a timer, or limit themselves to so many songs on a cd, or listen to a podcast, or something. It helps distract you, and also helps you not get too overwhelmed as you're working in a time scale. Another great help, I find, is in the chatroom. People in there often challenge each other. They'll chat for 15 minutes, then go off and do something towards their "de-squaloring" for 15 minutes, chat again for 15 minutes, de-squalor again for 15 minutes, and so on. That can be very helpful as it is motivating and makes you feel less alone. By the way, one would never guess English wasn't your first language!! I know a lot of English people who can't write (or speak!) as eloquently as you!!  Anyway, welcome again. I hope you enjoy being here and find the motivation and support you need.  |
|
|
|
Post by skitter on Nov 17, 2008 7:32:52 GMT -5
Hi Anna,
I would encourage you to have your mother come over more often, messy house or not. She is interested in you, not the apartment. When you make excuses for her not to come, I'm imagining that all she sees is that you don't want her to be with you. She may worry that you are hiding more than a messy house.
Love and cheers, skitter
|
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Nov 17, 2008 12:29:51 GMT -5
Welcome, Anna  !
There is nothing improper about your introduction, I assure you. Your words are what your heart can express at this moment, and they are enough. Some of us post often, some just read and seldom or never post anything. Each of us deals with this in our own way, there is no proper.
I'm glad you have hope now, and it's good to have you here.
messymimi
|
|
Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
|
Post by Blackswan on Nov 17, 2008 13:08:23 GMT -5
Welcome Anna! I am so glad that you found us! Your English is beautiful and conveys so much meaning with just a few simple words.
|
|
hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815 
|
Post by hopehope on Nov 17, 2008 14:18:15 GMT -5
welcome. I'm glad you posted. hopehope
|
|
|
|
Post by heylady1 on Nov 17, 2008 15:56:35 GMT -5
Hello Anna! I would never know English isn't your first language, you write beautifully!!! My home kind of sounds like your's....main rooms clean, closets stuffed beyond capacity. I am a hoarder too. Wait, let me rephrase that, I am a reformed hoarder. I have been slowly getting rid of things. Either they are sold, given away or trashed. It's been slow but steady and I guess that counts. This site here has helped tremendously! Just read some more of the threads, post in Listzilla, cheer others on and be cheered on yourself! Welcome. |
|
anna
New Member
Joined: November 2008
Posts: 4
|
Post by anna on Nov 17, 2008 19:13:34 GMT -5
Oh my!! You're all so lovely It's almost 2 am and I'm still cleaning!! Third day and omg I see surfaces again...! Right now I'm cleaning the fridge. Erm there was a milk box, still sealed and the expiration date said March 2008. That was shocking. And many more yucky things and dishes. I think I took out about 16 trash bags, good thing I remembered to recycle old paperwork and magazines, because I've noticed many "green" members here! I want to write a detailed post about the steps I followed but every time o log in the forum, I want to go back and continue!! And although it was a full day I'm not really feeling tired. It's exciting to see your furniture again Sapphire: These suggestions are so great! And I actually had my headphones on all the time. I made a playlist and every time the first song played again, I considered it a cycle and looked around to see what had changed. It does definitely help!! Thank you so much!! made sticky notes in my head with them skitter: You're totally right! Our parent/friend/partner is there to help not judge, some situations could have been prevented if we let people in. I remember a year ago she thought I was hiding drugs and trying to convince her I wasn't was haaaard!! But the time I didn't allow her to come, I visited them with excuses like -I know you're tired there. You don't need to travel and I'll see my sis too etc. But you're right, and it's good to mention it more often, our loved ones are there for us  thank you thank you!!! messymimi: what a cute username hihi thank you for the warm welcome! for now a proper home is what we need most i guess blackswan: thank youuu i'm trying, and I learn a lot by reading the posts wow that makes it twice helpful hihi hopehope: Exactly what your name says!! I'm glad I found hope again, it's one of the most important things and all of you are the reason for it:) thank you! heylady1: Hoarders! another new word we should print tshirts...oh no, better no more clothes!! I've read a lot of your posts and they really helped! Slower might be better, cause this sudden change is scaring me a bit and the maintenance afterwards is something I dread. We'll see Again, I don't know how to thank you all! I'm proud of everyone, every step counts! Going to finish emptying the fridge, some shelves need soaking all night yuk! and then sleep but on the couch because the bed has folded clothes now... oh well i wish they won't stay there another 10 months.... Hugs Anna |
|
|
|
Post by crazycatlady on Nov 17, 2008 20:41:24 GMT -5
Anna, you are doing beautifully! I'm so proud of you! It sounds like you know how to do a crisis clean, and go from a big mess to clean. But the keeping it clean is the tricky part. Stick around this forum, and try the Listzilla board, because many people have the same problem. We will help you learn new skills for keeping that place clean and neat!
Welcome to Soos. Nice to meet you.
|
|
|
|
Post by stressedbythemess on Nov 18, 2008 14:35:47 GMT -5
Anna, you are awesome girl. That is a lot of progress It sounds like you are in a somewhat similar situation/age to me. Just dont get depressed if things don't get done all immediately. I know I have stepped fowards at times, and backwards at others. It's a process. Like lots of things. |
|
|
|
Post by Marie on Nov 18, 2008 23:01:11 GMT -5
Hello Anna,
I am so glad to find you here. Sounds like you are really hitting the mess hard. Keep on at it and don't forget to rest and give yourself breaks from it.
Marie
|
|
