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Post by cando on Nov 17, 2008 15:08:29 GMT -5
My mother flew in Friday, the 7th in the late afternoon and went back Sunday morning, the 16th. We had wanted to be together & thought about a trip together, but just kept thinking about how badly I need to get my house cleaned up, etc. and she really likes to do things & wanted to help me. You know how it is, you go away, relax & then you walk back in the door & it is just the same as it was when you left or worse. Nothing is better.... Kind of like a dream & then you wake up...
(I posted what I did in Accountability Partners on November 7th before she came in town that day...)
I already miss my Mom. I know that this post will sound two-faced but I can't help it. I love her terribly and think she means well and is so sweet but you know how it is when it comes to the cleaning/desqualoring part for folks like me. I miss her & wish that I was the type of daughter that could just have her come to visit and she not want or need to help me with anything. . . just enjoy each other's company, cook for her, treat her, etc. That is what I'd like to do and need to get on with that while we can...
So, I was concerned about her coming as we usually end up arguing at some point. I can see the look and disdain, and although I told her that I needed her to come as I had been very down and just needed to be with her & that the best way to help me was to be like a cheerleader, kinda of. Lots of positive. She is a pretty negative person & indecisive. I forgot how much she likes to save things, too, to save money.
So, we had some bad moments but all in all it went wonderfully. She usually leaves here sounding disappoiinted that we didn't get more done. But, I am telling myself this time, that it is just her. WE discussed all of that and I had told her before she came that I did not want her to come here because I knew it would end that way & of course, it did. That just makes me feel worse. However; I could tell she was trying and she just can't help it... I guess. We did some fun things, too, this time. I, too, would have liked to get more done, but she would have to stay for a few months in order to really .........
She is so sweet and I know she means well and that is the most important thing. We did go see the play, "1776" one night. We did a little shopping, and took my DD (16) to have a make-over. (AS is the way she is used to being... she was very negative about the cost. Before the make-over, each place we visited at Macy's said dthat we would have to purchase 2 items...and she had never been told that before. I could tell my DD was getting upset & would not have had it done. She wanted to go to the first person available & I insisted that we found someone who was either already doing a great job on someone or else looked great herself...so we did that. But, my DMom could not get over the expense & I hated that she made comments about it in front of my DD. If you knew my DD, you would understand why. She is not the "normal" female teen. I couldn't believe that she even did this at all.... My Mom and I thought my DD looked absolutely beautiful!!! (Of course, she is truly beautiful anyway, but the make-up really made her look older & accentuated her dark beautiful eyes, and her full pretty lips, etc).
Anyway, I only bought 2 items but I know that my Mom would not have bought one of the items that i bought...
Oh well, we had some experiences that really put a damper on everything and I know that we would have gotten a lot more done if had not occurred... but such is life.
I was, once again, a victime of Identity Theft and right in front of my DMom, my check was declined at Target & had to go thru all that again, and it took so very long & lots of explaining before my DMom could comprehend and understand it. Someone is using my Driver's License number...
I had just gone thru this a month and a half ago and after police reports, affadavits, notaries, etc. etc. was told by Telecheck (at that time) that it was their mistake...a key in error. But, now after this current happeneing....that is not the case. it really was Identity Theft then, and I thought that I was all done with it. Now, I have to practicaly start over.
Going to another city, 2 days in a row to make the police report & then to pick it up, talking with the investigator, etc. Very stressful and increcibly time consuming...took up over 2 days. Have lots to work on this now...
Then, we had a scare with my washing machine. She was using it and it broke (or so we thought). Well, she just goes a little too fast sometimes & ...well, anyway, it wasn't broken. But, she became very agigated and upset. Thought she had broken my machine. We even scheduled an appointment for someone to come out and look at it for the next day, etc. Ended up it was just an "operator problem". It just took me a very loong time to figure it out. (Cancelled the appointment).
Also, my Mom had problems with one of her eyes. I'm sure it was affecting her and had to be annoying. She has a problem with one of the eyes & it began acting up while here. Poor mom.
We got the entire area between my bed and my dresser cleared out. I swept up a lot of the dog hair, dust, and bug parts with my dog comb type thing and my hands. Then, vacuumed it. We both dusted off the windowsill and my nightstand and pictures. You wouldn't believe how bad all that dust was.. Sad to say that some of this area had not been cleaned in 3 years!
I still have a big bag from this area that I need to go thru and it contains a lot of purses. WE were looking for my wedding ring while we were doing this desqualoring. It was an area that I thought my ring migh have fallen into. It still may be in one of those purses....
I think we ended up with:
* 2 or 3 bags of trash,
* 2 or 3 bags of recyclable papers,
* some brand new panty hose that I returned last night to CVS Pharmacy
* and a couple that I gave to my DMom as it was way past a date that i could return and did not have a receipt for one of them,
* a small bag of things to shred,
*a bag of paper type things for me to go thru,
* a bag of giveaway things,
*some unopened Rose scented lotion that I gave to my DMom
*2 bags of books that we sold to Half Price Books for the whopping amount of $5.00
*bag of change
*books that my DMom put in the den on the shelves.
*books that I gave to her
*found my "Giggles & Smiles Journal"
*also found the journal that my DD and I were sharing. We wrote letters to each other in this journal and we had stopped a couple years ago...
*etc.
It took a long time because I really had to go thru it & we had to shake out each bag...looking for my ring. It took several hours for this one small area... but it sure does look great! And, it is much safer now & I can get into all my drawers and in and out of my bed easiy now!
Other things we did:
*carried big microwave, 2 big computer monitors, 5 printers, 1 copier/printer(large), 4 computers/servers, and a telephone out to my van.
*took those to Salavation Army -- who now takes things like that!!! Yay!!!
That computer day took all day & wore us both out! It would have been so much easier & faster if my DS and/or DH would have carried them to the car for us... Oh well, at least they are out now!!!
*I went thru an entire box that was in my EAting ARea!!! This was a difficult one from when I was sick. Had to file quite a lot of this after my Mom left on Sunday. Quite a lot went into the recycle bag too! Some into shred bag.
*all 5 of us mananged to squeeze in and eat at my eating area table for 4.
*my DMom started the sink counter that is covered & I just asked her to put all the receipts in a bag but to hold out certain ones as I need to return a couple things. Also, had to be slow and careful as that ring could be there too. That counter is half done & looks much better.
*My DMom dusted off my piano!!!
*My DMom cleaned off my mixer & tried to straighten part of that counter but got upset about the dog stuff on that counter... you know...treat bags for walking dogs, clicker, kongs, a couple bones, dog food bowls, bottle brush for cleaning kongs, etc. She just insisted that it should not be in my kitchen at all and should be in the laundry area.
CD
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Post by iprocrastinate on Nov 17, 2008 16:17:50 GMT -5
 Cando, Sounds like a very productive weekend with some moments of tension built in. Glad you were able to accomplish so much. Was your dd happy with the makeover? Keep on keeping on! 4:17--just reread your post and realized it was a week, not a weekend. Congratulations--that much time can put a real strain on your relationship, but sounds like you came through well!
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Post by saffron on Nov 17, 2008 18:55:09 GMT -5
Hi, CanDo! You and your mom got a lot done! Good job getting the dusting done in your bedroom. I'm sure I have that much dust, and more. I know you love your mom, but it is tough with relatives, no matter how much you love them.  Love, Saffron |
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