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Post by mylittlescholar on Jan 12, 2020 8:01:41 GMT -5
yay for the sawdust and the hay and the spray! you are so kind to the plant people. And I bet their fairies are glowing! (I just saw that the founder of Findhorn celebrated her centennial birthday and thought of you.)
Glad you got some chicken cooked and have a plan for keeping yourself fed. I hope Ol Man Winter gives y'all a break. Last night the Weather Channel kinda terrorized me into running around taking everything down for the big storm front that blew through, but we are fine. I think I need to avoid that channel and stick to the local news.
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Post by creativechaos on Feb 25, 2020 23:30:15 GMT -5
awwww, thank you so much, dear mylittlescholar! i do so much enjoy the plant people and the bird and bug and newt and bee and butterfly people that visit and live in the garden. i'm not so kind to slugs, though - the Findhorn founder never killed anything.... kind of fascinating to read about the divas and the consciousness put into working with them - and that it worked. one of my fave books is Kinship with All Life... its all about communicating with all living things because they all have consciousness, and it's delightful. ***** i guess it's time to dust off this thread. i have done little toward the home front; more on other fronts, mainly creative sewing fronts. that's been good but now it's garden season and time to get serious about clearing some of this stuff out.
i have avoided yard sales, which are starting up again, and the thrift store. i turned down a "bargain shopping" trip to the mainland. i did splurge for some yarn a couple wks ago at the thrift that i have had my eye on for months - a sub was working, i had a $10 off coupon, and she gave me a really good price for all of it! it's enough to make a sweater or poncho, if i could get my loom back from the lady i loaned it to many years ago. but that would require SPACE to put it somewhere. the yarn's a gorgeous mohair mix - deep emerald green shade - very rich and beautiful.
a few accomplishments: i tossed a thing that goes over the bed, under the sheets - don't know what they are called - "mattress topper?" or something like that? it was a really nice one but sadly, and i'm so embarrassed to admit, it was so stained and discolored and dirty - i have a bad habit of going to sleep in my clothes (garden clothes, which are dirty) and not changing the bedding nearly often enough. i'm ashamed to write that but, there it is. the truth. i didn't even think of bleaching the thing - i just wanted it OUT because it reminds me of my squalorous habits and brings feelings of shame.
i also threw out several clothing items that were slightly stained or ripped.. such small accomplishments but it's SOMETHING. i need to revitalize writing about accomplishments, however small, including NON acquiring and releasing.
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Post by larataylor on Feb 27, 2020 12:19:55 GMT -5
creativechaos - I love that you got rid of something that made you feel bad. I love to get rid of a squalorous thing and replace it with a nice new thing. And I love that you're posting about NOT acquiring. It's so important, but hard to count ... maybe you could count days of not acquiring? If you like counting, that is!
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Post by creativechaos on Apr 6, 2020 14:41:15 GMT -5
thanks, larataylor for the kind words of encouragment. so hard for me to throw anything away!
long time no work on this thread.
i keep walking away from the mess in the apartment - and at storage. messy "piles 'o possibility" just end up looking like trash and i don't make good decisions; i keep crap, and release stuff i regret. right now i'm regretting ever ditching my folding wooden clothes drying rack and my food dehydrator - not those cheap crappy ones; this was home-made and really a good one and so simple. i've been redoing the garden... digging up and giving/selling plants... trying to think "future me" and simplifying as well as cutting down on plants.
when i look at this apt that is supposed to e "home," i get so depressed... suddenly all those canada thistles and weeds in the garden are looking GOOD. yet with the garden, i'm seeing how much work it takes from me, how much energy - and how i put my creative life on the back burner. but honestly, if it wasn't the garden i'd probably put up some other barrier to facing the creative void. i am so grateful for it and for a place to feel like i am doing something!
that said, i hope that what i do there now will make less work later but it's gonna take time and a lot of sweat. i'm gonna keep going to the garden until they lock us down even tighter - which may be just more avoidance and poor lack of prioritizing but it keeps me sane and away from obsessing on the news and the virus.
yet here i still am... it got "hot" early, i'd meant to go to the garden at 9 and now it's too hot and sunny - i'm a wimp in warm sunny weather! so i'll put up this list so i can know i did stuff today. things i did this a.m. after too little sleep for my liking: got up at 6:30; fed and watered kitty. listed some plants on fb buy sell trade. one customer, no other nibbles. worked in downstairs garden a bit this morning; cat was so happy there in the sun. . took a bag of trash to dumpster got a cedar splinter out of fingertip. still hurts. washed hands after taking trash out, mindful not to touch anything with sore fingertip. did some dishes. watered front plants in pots and containers - balcony, walkway, and downstairs garden. started some wants/needs lists for food, household, projects got lost again on social media, pulled self back from the brink of losing the entire day. so here i am... i'm "percolating..." thinking through how to do several projects, not being the "handy" type and with social distancing i can't ask for physical help. also "percolating" about a lot of other projects and how to tackle a level 3 hoard and the storage units which are as bad... thankfully there is the dumpster here at the apts and i can sneak the throwaways into it a little at a time, plus the bags of weeds.
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Post by creativechaos on Apr 8, 2020 15:50:07 GMT -5
Ok I know how I am hurting my knees and I need to do something about what I can do at home. I don't like to do lists because i self-sabotage so many times. But here's the short list i'm aiming for today - even if i have to pile stuff in different locations TEMPORARILY until i know what to do with it all... even goat trails would be an improvement:
catch up on dishes (never-ending, much worse when i try to cook!) scoop (i do this religiously anyway; it's easy with just one cat) clear floor from in front of kitchen sink clear floor in front of stove clear floor in front of refrigerator clear floor in front of bathroom sink and cabinets clear floor in front of lower kitchen cabinets
that doesn't even begin to cover anything like the REST of the floors, counters, and every other flat and piled surfaces but it's a start. I wish I had more energy. Slept 12 hrs last night, i think it was the pain. i am dull today and i could sleep another 12 hrs; don't even want to go outside.
ETA; i'm working on the list but have to go out soon. shower and breakfast first though. will do more when i get home. i can at least get closer to both sinks, even though the junk is just piled elsewhere. i picked up some trash and did some dishes too.
i sure wish someone was taking donations here!
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Post by mylittlescholar on Apr 8, 2020 16:17:50 GMT -5
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Post by creativechaos on Apr 17, 2020 17:52:55 GMT -5
i just re-read the intro i wrote to this thread.... ha ha. why don't i use it more.
so far today's accomplishments are: did census online tried with the fence - tried again. again. again. cried. tried again. gave up. ate brunch. cat knew what to do - he invited me into the bed for a nap and snuggle. up again, started PEEPING. trying to ignore fence project hahahaha put on some music took picture of GORGEOUS maple tree outside front of bldg folded some paper bags put some clothes into release bag put away what food i could cram into lower cabinets; dated some of it. found my wallet! hydrated completely lost my mojo spent too much time looking for that #@$drill chuck put my tools away and things back under cover; fence project eludes me for another day. tried to stop obsessing over that drill chuck and the fancy bit i lost in the dirt. tried the biggest magnet i had; magnet did not "find" the bit either. fed cat, cleaned litterbox. thanked him for the nice cuddle. tossed a few papers, put some loose ones into a box with the others i'm scooping up lost mojo again
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Post by mylittlescholar on Apr 17, 2020 20:17:48 GMT -5
wow, this a pretty awesome introduction! worth a revisit, I think! This is an action thread, no matter how small the actions. It's for people still stuck in the "contemplative" stages of hoarding but at least willing to do some sustained actions to turn that into the "action" stage. Sometimes, for a hoarder like me, things get so bad that you are too low or exhausted or ashamed to even go on WITs or chat. This thread is for people that are NOT "cleaned out", cleaned up, or in maintenance. Chronically disorganized people are welcome. People suffering complex PTSD are welcome.This may be my thread alone, that's OK. Others are welcome to join in, in either a supportive way, or with their own actions to dig out, or just occasionally - as a springboard back to where they can join another list thread or chat, once they get back on track, or use this thread while you are working on your goal IN chat. Good tips, or advice on how you handled something, are always welcome and appreciated.
Some of the stuff listed will be like the stuff in the "BDG" method, since some of us may be ill or in poor physical or mental health. If this thread isn't working or useful, please ignore - don't criticize. People who hoard, who KNOW they hoard and are NOT happy doing it - are miserable enough with the battle.RULES: NONE - but please play nice - if you are disgusted by hoarders, or angry at one (and I don't blame you), this is not the thread for you. SOME THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE: pick up 5 things (or whatever number) pick up 5 pieces of trash off the floor (or clothes, shoes, or whatever, in whatever number) take a dirty dish to the kitchen when you get up. resist acquiring something release something make a decision on keeping or releasing something throw away (god forbid!) something "excavate" to an uncluttered surface clear a foot of floor space find the bottom of your sink (cleaning up all dishes and detritis on the way) whittle down a pile commit to changing one small bad habit or implementing a good one sit in a chair and bend down to pick up all the trash or things that don't belong there around you. or work on a table next to your chair. every time you have to walk to another room, have something in your hand to put away or toss list just one small goal for today and set out do accomplish it break some project that seems too big, down into baby steps face that one thing today that you dread facing. if you fall down, keep getting back up, or ask for a hand up. we'll be there to give you one.ETC. you get the idea. add your own...
luv, cc
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Post by creativechaos on Apr 17, 2020 22:50:31 GMT -5
thanks so much, mylittlescholar for posting the intro. i'm glad i bumped the thread. maybe this will simply be my "get 'er done" thread and i can let my blog take a break for a bit.
i went back outside this evening and faced that fence project again... lots to figure out since it has to be "temporary" and all i have for verticals are 3 not very tall metal fence posts. figured out a whole sorta elaborate system and for awhile i didn't think it'd work - but now i think it will.
what i accomplished on fence project: found the lost driver bit that i needed! somehow managed, miraculously, to get the fence "frames" put together - it was so satisfying! put away tools etc. it was getting pretty dark by the time i quit.
will probably put something on my blog about it
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Post by creativechaos on Jun 18, 2020 10:45:29 GMT -5
lots of time has passed since i posted here but i need to revive this thread, mainly because i am too ashamed to keep posting, "catch up with a week's worth of dishes" and other such things on the other threads.
i finished the fence awhile back! posted a picture on the garden thread. since then i put some split cedar onto a gate frame for my big garden that the garden owner had built LAST fall. i still need to hang it which i have never done. these days, all my energy goes to outside chores and it will be that way intensely through the summer, and until at least October.
i'm not getting anywhere with the de-hoarding - well, not anywhere noticeable. i also need to develop some maintenance habits, which is hard when you have a hoarded-up place.
TASKS FOR INDOORS: finish catching up on dishes purge some plastic food containers, jars, etc in dish drainers and kitchen. go through food in fridge - toss what is old and spoiling. clean up the worst spills on bottom shelves and in fridge drawer keep picking up trash off the floor
TASKS FOR OUTDOORS:
drill pilot holes for screw eyes or brackets (would need to buy the brackets) so i can hang two hanging pots downstairs put one more vertical board up on fence - mainly cosmetic, to hide an adjustment i needed to make. finishing touch. make list of what i need to do next in the garden. (ongoing) plant or pot up new plants i got in 4-packs yesterday. finish cleaning up and tidying sitting area under the stairs so i can enjoy looking at downstairs garden pull thistles in big garden and go after the worst weeds that are flowering so they don't go to seed.
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Post by mylittlescholar on Jun 18, 2020 11:23:39 GMT -5
hi creativechaos! I was just writing to somepony about how the story of my life seems to be one of constantly starting over. I think I am starting to understand that is my version of "maintenance." and just for today, I think I am okay with that. Kinda like: so what? Let me try to find some joy, some pleasure in the little things. Let me remember that I am doing my best within structures and constraints that are fundamentally not particularly life-sustaining. Let me remember that I have a right to live, to breathe, to be happy. Its a struggle. I have so much daily anxiety about how I am going to get into trouble for not doing enough. I'd so much rather come from a place of contribution than fear.
So I'm glad, as always, that you have revived this thread; it feels like a safe place for me.
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Post by mouseanne on Jun 19, 2020 12:20:45 GMT -5
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Post by gaylem on Jun 19, 2020 20:42:41 GMT -5
I need a place to list the big cleaning/dejunking/decluttering projects I struggle to start. Daily cleaning to eliminate the worst dirt and grime and current clutter seems to take up most of my time. My physical health and caregiving for my brother slows me down. I hope by listing them here I can post progress I make on occasion. I will not be in maintenance or able to move until I get rid of everything below.
TOOLS - on an attached front porch, maybe 1,000 inherited metal things, some rusted
SOAPING SUPPLIES/MOLDS - stored in a couple of closets, once organized can find a soap maker on Marketplace to give them to.
SEWING MACHINES/SUPPLIES/FABRIC - plan to donate to a big city church group that teaches sewing to immigrants. Requires organizing. Fabric stored in a cool dark room.
PHOTOS - 10 inherited stored with some frames in office storage boxes. No problem with sentiment, just time. Albums from the 1930's! Scan a few, mail off a few to daughter, toss the rest
CAMPING GEAR - already tossed sleeping bags, hope to give to a Marketplace person, kerosene laterns, family tent, propane stoves
FISHING GEAR - Inherited from charter captain spouse, salt and freshwater - will gift, stored garage, reels upstairs, rods, nets etc.on front porch
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 19, 2020 21:08:02 GMT -5
gaylem, it sounds as if you've done a good job gathering the broad categories in one or two places each, and you have at least tentative plans for almost all of it. That's worth a lot, even if it doesn't look great. I don't know how much of this was yours to start with, but I know it's hard to give up activities, tools, and supplies that used to give us joy. The giving away will be a big relief, and a blessing to many others who can use what you no longer want or need. I'll be thinking of you as I strive to get my own stuff into categories, or just work on nibbling at the edges until the unnecessaries leave the premises.
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Post by creativechaos on Jun 20, 2020 15:38:26 GMT -5
i am so excited to come here and find COMPANY! maybe we can all use this to do some extra projects besides maintenance, or catching up on backslid maintenance! you are all welcome here any time and i hope it is a safe space for acceptance of where we're at, and the inspiration to get things done. welcome to this thread, gaylem and goldenthreads! thank you for posting here. i've been here on the boards upwards of 14 years - my hoarding got much worse in that time - through my own actions and thoughts - not this place. i shudder to think how much worse things would be if i were not here or had never found this site. now i am trying to turn life slowly back the other way. i've never NOT hoarded. eventually, the stuff took over my life - became my life. i am trying to start taking the life i never had. i can't say taking it back; this will be the first time i ever really claim it. one good thing about aging is you get more realistic and more content with reality, rather than fantasies and dreams - you learn to make your dreams fit the reality, not give them up entirely.
i agree with goldenthreads, gaylem - you have done tons of work! the mental work and decision making is so important. i also love your goals and how thoughtful you are in dispersing/gifting these things to people who really will need and appreciate them. that is inspiring! especially giving the sewing stuff to immigrants. that made my heart sing to read that.
thanks for the hugs, mouseanne - those are always welcome.
mylittlescholar - i love that crazy-fun avatar and how you change it up! this one is full of outward-radiating energy! thank you for the support always, and the latest post. how much better it is when we celebrate ourselves than beat ourselves up. it's why i don't put too much stock in my todo lists - those are brain dumps to help me remember. the important thing it to get things done and make forward motion. that's one of my weak points but i'm going to try to focus there.
today's fervent hopes/goals/wishes: just looking for inroads here, since most are ongoing: dishes - keep on trying to catch up disperse some extra kitchen stuff including extra jars and plastic containers, plastic bags etc - get RID of them!!! make a healthy meal and use up some greens (not waste them) clean more old food out of fridge and take to dumpster pick up trash off kitchen floor and elsewhere in kitchen or wherever gather more like-with-like items and put them together work on papers for 15 min. + pick up my food order at the coop put away today's groceries from morning errands
i have a few small projects to list too, but later or maybe on another thread.
WE CAN DO THIS! ONE DAY, ONE THING AT A TIME.
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