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Post by crazycatlady on Nov 27, 2008 16:09:30 GMT -5
I was reading ThreeDecades thread about how impossible it is to clean with lively three year old twins, and her expecting another baby soon. It truly does seem like she is up against impossible odds. Like others, I wish that I could pop over for a visit, and take the boys to the park for a few hours, so she could get a good nap. Or even pitch in and help her reclaim her kitchen!
But I remember back, at how hard it was at first. And honestly, some days I still struggle with feeling overwhelmed. And I have been decluttering for years, and have a housekeeper who comes every two weeks. But although I am out of squalor, I still often "feel" incompetent to clean my home.  And I certainly remember the early days, and how monumental the task ahead seemed. After all, I had NEVER had a clean home before. But one skill at a time, it became easier and easier to keep up with this impossible place.
How about you? Do you struggle with feelings that you can't get past the squalor? Are you managing to make progress despite those feelings?
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Post by notsomessyshell on Nov 27, 2008 16:25:46 GMT -5
I struggle daily! I concentrate on what isn't done instead of what I have accomplished. I do struggle to keep on going.
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Post by morningglory on Nov 27, 2008 16:44:08 GMT -5
I honestly don't *remember* fighting a desire to give up. I have often felt overwhelmed, like it was an impossible task and would never be done. But I can't contemplate giving up, because I do not want to live like this. I might occasionally fantasize about going to live in the hills somewhere and just letting my house go. But that's not reality and I can't do that while I live in a place with friends and neighbors, and with family members visiting at least once in awhile, even though they don't live nearby. Also, I don't want it for my kids. I want them to have a clean, safe, healthy home, where they can invite their friends.
So, I do sometimes feel it will never happen, and I do take BREAKS, and I do move slowly, but I don't really feel an urge to actually "give up".
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Post by Script on Nov 27, 2008 17:18:55 GMT -5
Over the last 10 years, I have made immense, almost mind-boggling progress in caring for my home and my self: and I FIGHT DESPAIR AND DEPRESSION DAILY.
Yes, DAILY. At my worst, I self-medicate with chocolate, not booze or pills. I pray. I take my meds faithfully (Celexa & Elavil, with Xanax as needed). I will never give up, but I FEEL like giving up.
And I know that I am more than my FEELINGS. I also my mind, my heart, my WILL to continue.
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815 
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Post by hopehope on Nov 27, 2008 23:08:11 GMT -5
yes, i feel that way.
My home seems impossible -- when i contemplate others seeing it.
I keep reminding myself of all the things that were here, that I have freed the place of. And me of.
Sure, I get frozen. because it seems frighteningly undoable. and because i get SO upset.
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Post by CrimsonKat on Nov 28, 2008 1:11:14 GMT -5
The past few months have been very difficult for me. I am fighting depression (again), but without meds (I am so sick of trying them and having them not work). I daily attempt to live in action and balance (as my signature says). Overall, I do ok. Once in a while, I have what I call a "Blanketland Day" (when I can't face anything and crawl back into bed and put the blankets over my head and stay there). I have been good at telling myself that I can feel any way I want, but get up and do SOMETHING first, even if it's washing one dish. One of my challenges is to do something every day and NOT end up doing marathon cleans. They stress me out even more. I find that if I work on the apartment at least 30 mins a night, I don't beat myself up as much and call myself awful names. I (we) have made a lot of progress and it amazes me how much there still is to do. Not just maintainence, but dealing with past areas of clutter. I just have to keep telling myself that every little bit I (we) do is progress, and that's what life is about - PROGRESS. That's why I am so glad I can come here. It really helps to know I can come here and post, vent, complain, share my joy, etc. Most of the time, I don't post, but I come here and read and that helps too. Thanks everyone. This place is a perfect example of the saying, "live together, die alone". We never have to "die alone" again and that makes me smile.  |
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Nov 28, 2008 2:04:41 GMT -5
I have had times where I also feel overwhelmed, and times where the squalor creeps back in a little, but giving up has never been a possibility. I could never spend my life living in squalor and not even TRY to fix it. I think since finding squalor survivors, and later you guys, and realizing that other people live like this has only encouraged me more to keep working on it, and showing me that there are ways of fixing it.
Even before though, I knew that living the way I was living was not ok, and I knew I could not give up ever.
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