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Post by clearwaterush on Nov 30, 2008 9:22:53 GMT -5
 It's like never ending. I know I'm working hard and it's getting done, but IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT! I look at the mess and say . I guess it's a poor me day. I don't know..............I'm wore out....... 
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Post by drivermom on Nov 30, 2008 9:52:35 GMT -5
I know how you feel, I have been there myself. You are making HUGE progress! Give yourself a set amount of time to wallow in self-pity, take a nap and get back to work. Work in 15-30 min challenges. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! You Rock!!
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Nov 30, 2008 10:14:08 GMT -5
That's exactly how I feel. I look at the mess and get overwhelmed. I still have December ahead, the worst month of the year. Shopping, cleaning, cooking, it's all too much. I think I'll go back to bed and stay there.
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Post by messymimi on Nov 30, 2008 10:33:16 GMT -5
Sometimes, when I feel awful, like nothing will ever change, I will never get anywhere, it will never all get done, I remind myself to think of it as job security. Then I make myself laugh so I won't cry.
messymimi
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Nov 30, 2008 13:20:04 GMT -5
I sometimes feel that way too. But I was surprised the other day when I noticed a shift in thinking. I looked at that mess, and I thought, well looks like I better do this...I had never had that thought before, where I was actually willing to do something without making all kinds of excuses, or dreading it, or whatever, it was weird.
I would just try the timer trick. And I wouldn't wait until I felt like setting the timer, I would just set it. you will get up within one minute and start working, even if you didn't feel like it when you set the timer. I trick myself that way all the time.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Nov 30, 2008 18:47:25 GMT -5
Maybe you need a night out.  did wonders for my outlook. I am in the same house, with the same mess, but my attitude seems to be different. I am happier today so my house is not upsetting me as much. I think we all need a little mental health break. Is there something you love to do but have been putting off because the house needs you? Maybe you should do something for yourself. I am not resenting all I need to do today like I usually do. I plan on taking a little time for myself regularly now. Desqualoring my house cannot be my entire life. I am not a messy house. I am me who happens to have a messy house!! |
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Post by marigold on Dec 1, 2008 4:16:14 GMT -5
Hey! You got sooo much done so far! You should pat yourself on your back for taking steps and moving toward your goal (of a beautiful organized space). When a trip of a thousand miles begins with a step, it's better having done three small steps already (like you did) then no steps at all! Don't you agree? So reward yourself for your so-far progress and do something fun today for yourself (go to the movies, or a walk in the woods or a park, or whatever makes YOU have a smile on your face), and after a day off, continue step-by-step clearing. There's this whole crowd here to cheer you on!
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Post by clearwaterush on Dec 4, 2008 21:24:12 GMT -5
Right now I have decorated the 5' christmas tree and will finish the decorations in the dining room and Living room. That's why I REALLY wanted to clean up the dining room so I could put up the tree. This year I decorated it in silver,red, and green garland, with red and gold balls and red and gold bows all over. I tied a light sand color of raffia to the top of the tree and let it cascade down the limbs. A red and white santa's hat is the tree topper. Before, I always just threw the tree up to get it done!
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Post by CrimsonKat on Dec 6, 2008 0:58:52 GMT -5
I clean a little every day and try to do maintainence as well. I feel like I don't even make a dent. I am going to do a gentle, no-stress cleaning push this weekend to make myself feel better. My to-do list seems never ending. *sigh*
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Post by clearwaterush on Dec 6, 2008 12:44:02 GMT -5
I think I do not like schedules (It doesn't work for me) or to do lists aren't working either. The word to do sounds like my mother! I was always having to do! Just having a list seems honkey dorey to me! Then I can check it off as I do them in any order or on any particular day.
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Post by sporadic on Dec 6, 2008 19:20:45 GMT -5
It's like never ending. I know I'm working hard and it's getting done, but IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT! I look at the mess and say . I guess it's a poor me day. I don't know..............I'm wore out....... I know all-too-well how you feel and I understand it. Most of the time I feel the same way. It's so frustrating! I despise this decluttering process and hate every minute doing it. I know I got myself into this mess and can get myself out of it - it's just a PITA to MAKE myself do the work. |
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Post by dayeanu on Dec 12, 2008 23:48:29 GMT -5
When I get bogged down, frustrated, etc., I remember H.A.L.T. (I stop and check to see if I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). Am I eating properly (often when I work, I don't eat,) am I angry (take a break and write about it), lonely (call a friend), or tired (get some rest.) When I take care of these basic needs, the world usually looks better. Also, I try to drink plenty of water while I work.
It helps me to work in one area and get it clean, even if it's just a square of the counter-top. At least that way, I can see what I've done. I have to see progress, even tiny progress, to keep from getting discouraged. The timer thing doesn't work too well for me. I just keep setting it over and over until I finish whatever it is that I'm working on. I do better setting a little goal. When I'm finished, at least I have a little oasis in the midst of the storm and I can look at it and say, "I did that." (I also do better when I clean exterior things that make a big visual difference, and save cleaning out the contents of the drawers or sorting stacks for later.)
As for motivating myself and making lists, here's what I hit upon today. Don't know if it will work, but I'm going to give it a shot. I am apparently very demand resistant. I am also apparently a mild-to-moderate hoarder who does shopping therapy, and with tons of clutter, of course. After reading another thread "Changing the locks: my hoarder ex," it got me to thinking about my own hoarding tendencies and why I do it. A lot of different reasons, but basically, when I get depressed or bored or frustrated, or stressed, I start acquiring things. (kind of like some people eat, and some people drink, I shop.) I acquire stuff to cheer me up, to comfort me, to make sure I am well-provided for, to reward myself, and just generally to make me feel better - a way to be nice to me. Sort of like giving myself gifts. I love gifts. I love giving them and I love getting them. But I have so much stuff in my house that it makes it really, really hard to clean - and that is NOT a gift. I have decided that the next time I have the urge to feel better by acquiring stuff, I am going to tell myself that there are better ways for me to be nice to me. One way is by not bringing any more unneeded stuff home. Then it occurred to me that I could still give myself gifts, but of a different type, such as maybe the gift of clean dishes, when I need to be cheered up. (Clean dishes would certainly cheer me up.) I could give myself the gift of a cleared-off counter top, to counteract boredom. I could give myself the gift of a neat and peaceful bedroom (that would be comforting), or the gift of a clean bathroom just to be nice to me, or the gift of being able to dress in clean clothes out of my closet, instead of digging through the pile in the dining room and having to sniff to see if the cat has been there. Uggggh! Those are all gifts that would be really nice to have in my home. I could do those things as a "treat" or "gift" for anyone else. So why not give myself those kinds of gifts? Because I am so demand resistant, instead of a to-do list, I am going to make myself a gift list. Instead of listing the chore, I am going to list the end-result, the "gift." Instead of "having to wash the dishes," I am going to give myself the gift of clean dishes, etc. Even exercising seems so much nicer when I think of it as a gift I am giving myself (a gift of health and energy.) My daughter used to tell my grandson that pinto beans and collard greens were Roy Rogers stew and Hercules parsley. He wouldn't eat beans and collards, but he'd eat Roy Rogers stew and Hercules parsley. We even had a photo in the kitchen of Roy eating beans right out of the can. My grandson would gobble them down and ask for more. My daughter used to laugh and say, "presentation, presentation, presentation." Maybe that's part of my problem. Instead of looking at this as drudgery I "ought" to do, I'm going to try to see everything from the perspective of a gift I'm giving myself. (Hope it helps.) Right now I'm going to give myself the gift of feeling good in the morning by going to bed at a decent hour.
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Blue
New Member
Joined: November 2008
Posts: 92 
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Post by Blue on Dec 13, 2008 1:11:24 GMT -5
I get exhausted and I give up easily because its just so overwhelming. Sometimes, I think my efforts and in vain because I tackle one area and move on to another but my kids make a mess of the space that I cleared by taking all the toys off the shelves and draggin them everywhere ... kids wil be kids I want to be able to have just toys to clean up rather than piles and piles of clothes and other clutter.
It also helps when I remind myself that it took 20 years to get this way so I cant expect it to be all done in a day.
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Post by clearwaterush on Dec 13, 2008 10:16:32 GMT -5
 Well, now I'm getting mad at myself for NOT maintaining. I have decided that I just need to maintain period. Good gosh, how hard can it be to keep what you cleaned looking nice? Obviously I find it hard because I'm NOT doing it. I want to start on my bedroom MURAL, but haven't done anything yet! I do not follow through with what I want to do....ticks me right off too. I will try to clean little spots like dayeanu and see if that works. And get started my my MURAL in spots. Like a lottery, I'll just PICK something to do at the time I want to do it. Timers don't work...I just get up and shut it off...and if the mircowave keeps beeping because it's reminding me... That really ticks me off. >:(I want to do things when I want, and at my own pace. There I said it. I sound like a person who knows what they want. I enjoy doing things on the spur of the moment. I shine when I have to fly through last minute stuff that I planned to do. Does this make since? ::)I want my house to stay clean AFTER I clean it. No one can do that but me! Me, Me, Me. Me is not doing it! Ok, I'm off to do something. I will make a list of everything I do today that pertains to cleaning and fun. Maybe I can MIX AND MATCH!
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Post by dayeanu on Dec 13, 2008 11:11:18 GMT -5
Have you read on here somewhere about "Demand Resistance?" The more we demand of ourselves, the harder we resist. I think that's why schedules, to-do lists, timers, etc., don't work well for us. They all seem like demands. That's why I'm now thinking in terms of giving myself gifts, instead of doing chores. I'm gifting myself with clean dishes today, for starters.  If I make it fun, it MIGHT get done.   |
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