H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 19, 2017 15:30:17 GMT -5
I am so grateful right now.
Because I faced the GBR piles and bins today, opened one box of old papers from 2006, saw an envelope with an address of the DIL of my best friend in CA since 1982.
I had lost touch with friend several years ago (a series of compounded disasters-deaths, moves, etc)
..but by searching for a couple hours in white pages.com other sites, I located her older son... on FB!!
TODAY he is shutting down his computer, and moving across the country..so my timing was also a miracle!!
I feared she was deceased, but saw images he had posted of her from last year!! I am feeling so blessed.
Now I hope she will be open to contact
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Post by hiding on Mar 19, 2017 15:36:55 GMT -5
That's great H2H! I have been looking for a friend that I also fear is deceased. The last time I heard from her was about 15 years ago when she called me from a treatment center. Knowing her since we were both in 4th grade, I fear that her love of substances, both legal and illegal got the best of her.
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 19, 2017 20:18:51 GMT -5
hiding...I have to thank my joining SOS for this in many ways...because another member is talking about her DH, I had a niggle in my brain that I needed to call the very old cell # I had for my former DH...it's been 6 years, by my choice. Our very last last time he was just entering treatment that HOUR.... again!! and like your friend, he's had more addiction and rehab issues for over a decade...no one could do anything. He may be OK now, just tentative still on only talking by phone.
IF you can, maybe try to locate her thru friends or family contacts...?
Then that envelope caused me to begin searching in earnest for my friend, I did look on FB before, but located the son this time in a quite convoluted way.
I know she was going deaf, and now is completely, so can only msg., and just got her number and mailing addy, so will write..both of us are old school and used to write before too. at 74 she is failing, I know it, and just glad she is safe, and hope she feels well enough to communicate.
What a day. I also unearthed my 1st grade -8th report cards (the teacher names just jumped out at me), and my 1968 USN job evaluations by the dept. captain as an OR tech, my 1971 taxes ( I earned that little???) and some other more personal stuff over many many years. memory lane trip.
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Post by notanotherdecade on Mar 20, 2017 3:00:35 GMT -5
If only all envelopes were as fun to open ^_~
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Post by def6 on Mar 20, 2017 12:08:29 GMT -5
This is a very happy benefit of decluttering ...one of the best yet!
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 27, 2017 17:58:38 GMT -5
def6 "This is a very happy benefit of decluttering "
well, not so fast. I got exactly one brief text msg from my friend, and her words reminded of all I had forgotten about her personality...no reply yet since to mine to her a week ago.
She has had some major MAJOR life traumas, sudden death of a young grown son, shocking suicide of a husband, slow painful death of her only sister. and many smaller travails...so I just remember that I do not abandon my friends, even if they can't quite meet me even 20% of the way. I am just hopeful she will respond over time, I am at least glad to know she is not dead. Known her for 37 years, and will focus on that.
Same with former hubby..people are sometimes in so much pain or mental stress they simply can't understand anyone else or communicate the way we expect, as they used to.
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 27, 2017 20:39:35 GMT -5
i hope she will take the hand of friendship you have extended to her, H2H. even if not, you extended it! which shows that you do not abandon your friends, and have much compassion for what this lady has gone through. accepting people as they are is so freeing. WTG on dehoarding and uncovering this lady and reconnecting - not only with her but with your own fine qualitiy of valuing long term friendship - and accepting the good with the bad. |
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Post by catcat on Mar 27, 2017 23:52:22 GMT -5
I am one of those ppl who try to keep in touch with VERY old friends, such as those I was close to in grammar school, etc. If I didn't, they wouldn't, most, not all of them. At Christmas, I send them cards with notes--& they do too. I call occasionally & while they are not the types who would make the calls, I can tell that they are tickled to hear from me. This year I opened two cards, back to back, written by their families, to tell me that two of them had died. Two in a row. One--I felt bad about. The other--I was devastated. These were , of course, people who had moved far away. It's just that once I care deeply for someone--& these were very dear friends--I never let go of them in my heart. Since then, I opened a newsletter from my High School which comes out about 3 or 4 times a year & another had died. It was a very large graduating class & I went about a hundred years ago, so many of us have gone. I have little family left & now I have reached the age where my friends are dying off too. There was one girl that I played with when we were young & I have tried to find her for years. Since I only had her maiden name, but remembered her unusual first 2 names, I was unable to locate her for years. Early this year, I paid for a month of one of those sites on the web where you can trace ppl. I found her & she had moved away & had died about 14 years ago. I do have some very precious friends here & some that keep in touch from far away. It is just that I fall hard & find it hard to forget the friends who were such a big part of my life way back when. catcat  |
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Post by catcat on Mar 27, 2017 23:55:26 GMT -5
I just realized that I hijacked your thread & I am sorry.--catcat
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H2H
Banned
halfwaytohoarder gets rid of it all!
Joined: February 2017
Posts: 2,041
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Post by H2H on Mar 28, 2017 11:29:18 GMT -5
catcat I am not a fussy type who insists of purity of blog or post, actually I am happier when people DO communicate!
Maybe it's living alone, and isolated in a rural area, with FEW/NO people who think anything like me, that I enjoy hearing what others say online.
One of the best things about SOS for me are many ladies over 50 and over 60 who have similar life experience!
Part of my decision to unhoard, and consider moving despite the agony of doing so is not having that daily or weekly contact with likeminded people. I also know you simply "take your problems with you", but AGING trumps some choices especially when we can't maintain a home or property.
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