cj44
New Member
Joined: December 2017
Posts: 5 
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Post by cj44 on Dec 22, 2017 3:42:05 GMT -5
Hi. This is huge for me. I've never admitted my problems to anyone other than people who knpw us extremely well and have chosen to turn a blind eye.
We live in squalor. There I said it. It's out in the open-ish.
And I'm terrified.
I have several mental and physical issues, and lets just say our squalor is towards the outer end. I know it's bad, and I'm trying to hard to fight myself to make it change.
We have kids. Won't go into detail about them. They are happy and healthy, and I always make sure they know the 'mess' isn't a good thing. I will always make sure they at least have the knowledge not to be like me.
I'm just starving for support and advice. The relief (and sadness) I found when I realised I wasn't alone was crazy, but the nightmares of losing my kids is destroying me, and I know my state of living is too.
So thankful for this forum.
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Post by Serendipity on Dec 22, 2017 4:44:35 GMT -5
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Post by seashell on Dec 22, 2017 6:58:55 GMT -5
Welcome, cj44. You are definitely not alone! Make yourself at home here. You are among friends. |
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Post by sillycanuck on Dec 22, 2017 7:42:15 GMT -5
welcome--great spot for support, venting and answers to every question possible
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Post by sillycanuck on Dec 22, 2017 7:42:30 GMT -5
welcome--great spot for support, venting and answers to every question possible
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Post by Unswamping on Dec 22, 2017 12:15:03 GMT -5
cj44 welcome! I think when we all first join, we are feeling scared, lost, confused, ashamed and alone. This forum is a very special place. People here are kind and supportive and most importantly nonjudgemental. We are here because we struggle with squalor (or struggled in the past and want to stay free from it-yes there is hope!). There are lots of different reasons why people struggle with squalor and hoarding. Maybe they never learned how to clean, maybe they grew up in it, maybe they are depressed or battling health issues. Whatever your reasons are, there is likely someone here who has experienced the same or a similiar thing. It is possible for you to overcome this. It wont be easy but we all know that. Start small, baby steps are big here. Anything you do, tossing even one piece of trash is a huge step forward. We are ready to cheer you on. Take a look around the forum, maybe there is a workalong thread youd like join or chat.
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Post by aquamarine on Dec 22, 2017 12:59:07 GMT -5
You will find huge amounts of support and advice on here. It is important not to give any information that could identify you, but you can get tailored advice by giving some background details. Some people live alone in a small studio flat in a big city while others have lots of children and pets and live in a rural area.
You have given yourself a good present by joining this forum.
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Post by aquamarine on Dec 22, 2017 13:00:27 GMT -5
Could you set a goal of making some visible improvements by January 1st?
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 22, 2017 14:39:55 GMT -5
hi cj44 - so glad you found us@ it was great chatting with you last night. you are welcome here and you are among friends who understand. this is a great place to be terrified, because you will soon realize you have lots of company, that people here care about each other and helping each other beat the squalor, and there are people in every stage of this thing, including maintenance, which inspires us all. i hoard. i had joined all sorts of hoarding groups which somehow never quite filled the spot. then one day i googled "squalor" - because that's what i was living in. I'm so thankful to this day, and i hope you will be too, now that you've found this lovely group. You can do this! |
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Post by joyinvirginia on Dec 22, 2017 14:49:01 GMT -5
Welcome cj! You will get lots of encouragement and good ideas here. Im emptying the trash cans so I can go to the county dump this afternoon. Can you fill one small bag with trash and get it out of your house, off your property, and into the trash somewhere? (I'm way too cheap to pay someone to take my trash  !) Depression runs in my family. I could not really begin to get the house under control until I got on good antidepressant that worked well for me, and had a good psychiatrist who also promoted some lifestyle changes that also helped. Sometimes over the years meds stop working and there needs to be a change. Not everyone likes meds, for me they were a literal lifesaver. Welcome and check out working in threes in listzilla, or favorite threads folder. |
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Post by phoebepj on Dec 23, 2017 22:38:25 GMT -5
Welcome CJ!!! you are not alone here!!!!
I have lived in various states of squalor and am currently in "recovery" so it IS possible. WE are here to support YOU!!!!! Celebrate the small victories and keep your head up!
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Post by def6 on Dec 26, 2017 1:09:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are having trouble cj44May I suggest getting all trash out, broken stuff and unusable items. It is so much easier to clean when you don't have to move a bunch of stuff. |
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