famtrad
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 18
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Post by famtrad on Dec 12, 2008 21:10:12 GMT -5
Hi, everyone!  I'm famtrad (a user name that's short for "Family Tradition," referring to the fact that both hubby and I are second-generation hoarders/squalor-types). I registered the other day after searching for support during the downtime between major cleaning jobs -- and, in truth, to avoid some of the work with distraction -- and I'm happy to have found this place. It's been helpful to read many of the posts here -- I've learned a lot about myself from what I've read. Right now my stress load is high. We have company coming next week, which includes overnight guests for the first time in years. My husband took the week off from work and I've used my non-work hours to whip this place into shape. As our time runs out, we're finding that we won't get as much done as we imagined (we always over-imagine results due to our perfectionist issues, and then we suffer a letdown). So we're sort of depressed and feeling a bit defeated and ashamed at this point. Not exactly an energizing feeling as we head into the final stretch. This process has illustrated just how deep our problems run. I think we were both in denial. I mean, we knew it was disgusting around here (third degree squalor in most rooms, avoided guest and workmen at all costs), but somehow we were just so used to it, we didn't recognize the extent of it. On the plus side, just this week we've sent over 400 pounds of garbage to the dump, 250+ pounds in the regular trash receptacle, 240 pounds of good stuff went to charity, and approximately 300 pounds is now in a storage building. On the downside, there's so much more to go! We need to find our energy to trudge through the rest of it. As I said, I'm glad I found this place. |
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Dec 13, 2008 6:42:03 GMT -5
Wow, it sounds like you are making phenomenal progress! Welcome to the board!
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Post by timetochange on Dec 13, 2008 11:34:48 GMT -5
Wooohoooo keep up the good work! Post back as you make more progress!!!!
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Post by crazycatlady on Dec 13, 2008 17:42:39 GMT -5
Welcome, FamTrad. We have a 3G here-third generation squalor-type! You can learn new skills to overcome.
How awesome that so much stuff left already! W00t w00t!
I found that after getting rid of a lot of clutter, I could see how filthy the walls, floors, curtains, furniture, etc had become. Is there any chance of hiring a cleaning service to do a quick scrubdown of the home you are reclaiming? It would be a lovely Christmas gift for you, after all the work you have done, to have the whole place scrubbed.
If that isn't in the budget, then maybe just post a thread on Listzilla. I did that for a graduation party for ds two summers ago, and it really helped keep me focused on the big picture, instead of getting bogged down on the little things that no one would notice. I also got a lot of encouragement and great tips from my on-line friends.
You can do it. You have already made such a huge difference. I am so proud of you!
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Post by messymimi on Dec 13, 2008 19:21:39 GMT -5
Welcome, Famtrad !
You have done so much! 
This is where the marathon cleaning method you have been pushed to use shows it's weakness. It really can be demoralizing to be faced all at once with how bad it has become.
Once faced, however, you have the opportunity to start clean and retrain yourself to see it through new eyes. That way you will never let it get this way again.
I hope you and your guests have a wonderful visit.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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famtrad
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 18
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Post by famtrad on Dec 13, 2008 20:04:23 GMT -5
Thanks for the welcomes and the encouragement. You're just the sweetest bunch! I do recognize the progress we've made, but as messymimi aptly pointed out, marathon cleaning can be demoralizing. That's sort of where we are now. It's up and down. Hubby and I bickered over this process earlier. It's wearing him down, too. We're constantly readjusting our goals, as we see we can't do everything we've planned. We're trying to tell our inner perfectionists to shut up  Admittedly, I'm not good at that. I can't hire a cleaning service now, but I'm hoping to scrub down as much as possible before our guests get here. I'm also hoping to paint some rooms, but I know that may not be possible. (Inner-perfectionist also wants to put down new adhesive tiles in the kitchen!  ) And crazycatlady, I'll give Listzilla a shot, too. Maybe that will keep me on task. Thank you, thank you, thank you!  |
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Post by wind on Dec 15, 2008 23:10:45 GMT -5
Hey, I'm second generation hoarder/squalor here! I have kids, so I'm really, really wanting to break this cycle. Anyway, hello and welcome. More than 1,000 lbs of stuff out the door is amazing!!!! Don't lose heart! Just keep the "countdown till guests arrive" date in mind and run with it. Knowing people will be coming over is an excellent motivator. In fact, since having kids, I've purposefully scheduled giant parties here just to force myself to get moving. It actually has worked ok. (except when things start to get overwhelming and I quit letting people know to expect a cookout soon. ) |
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Post by heylady1 on Dec 16, 2008 13:50:02 GMT -5
WELCOME!! Famtrad! I think you're doing an awesome job already!!! Keep up the good work!! 
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 16, 2008 21:41:39 GMT -5
hi famtrad; welcome, and great start; over 1000 lbs gone! are the guests you are having people that you know well? if so, they usually are more understanding of things "in progress". they are probably coming to see YOU, not how you keep house. kudos to you and your husband for deciding to open your home to guests and to life! and good for you both for telling your inner perfectionists to kindly zip it! you can always get your guests involved if they are bored or wanting to help: -- painting, cleaning, vacuuming, hauling , for starters, !  ) |
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famtrad
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 18
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Post by famtrad on Dec 18, 2008 2:59:23 GMT -5
Wind, Thanks! Inviting people to your home to keep it tidy makes sense to me. I've already told my hubby, once this is clean, we're inviting people over every two weeks or so for dinner or games or something. I need the constant motivation or I can't keep it up. heylady1, thanks for the welcome and the encouragement! creativechaos, good advice! Thank you. I have to admit, even though I'm very close to my guests (which includes one of my best pals for the last 23 years), I'm still stressed about being extra tidy. Her home looks like a design magazine! Having said that, I know she doesn't expect the same from me. I'm still working at getting my inner perfectionist to shut up. It keeps chiming in. But it looks like I'm going to have to settle for 'good enough' anyway, as I'm sick now and spending most of my time in bed instead of cleaning. Still, as you said, 1,000 pounds out the door is a great start, so I need to learn to embrace imperfect-but-improving-me  |
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