messymac
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 11
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Post by messymac on Dec 28, 2008 18:00:53 GMT -5
I'm new, and not in total squalor yet, but can see my house and life heading that way.
I have three ridiculously messy teen sons (the younger two fight constantly), they are no help with chores. I have a stressful job, and am divorcing after 23 years. The depression keeps me from doing more than absolute minimums.
I fear having everything get more out of control -- how do I stop this spiral???
I have trouble with friends who say, 'get those boys to help.' I have tried nearly everything, and they have worn me out. I need help from folks who understand the weariness and defeat I am trying to live under. Survivial skills.
I watch TV (on the commputer) too much. I look around and dont know where to start. I get to work, and pay the bills. A service does that floors and bathrooms every two weeks -- something I probably won't be able to afford after the divorce.
AND, I have to get this albatross of a house ready to sell.
Lots of other details, I look forward to support from other people who are in a place where they don't recognize themselves.
I am by nature messy and disorganized, but NOTHING like this.
Who has successfull starting tactics?
Thanks in advance.
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Post by messyang on Dec 28, 2008 20:17:54 GMT -5
Welcome MessyMac! Thank you for your kind words on my thread as well. Believe me, you are among many understanding people here. Consider me a friend. I UNDERSTAND your battle with teens. People say all the time... "Oh, if my kids did that , I would kick his a$$ out" or something inane like that. They do not understand. Your comment about survival skills are SO relevant to me. That is why my post was called "I feel like my life is over". I thank God that I am healthy and have food on the table, but many days I feel like what I have is just survival and not a real life. MessyMac, I am there, and I understand. I went through a divorce after 14 years, and four kids. Then my ex was killed , so then I was REALLY all alone. God bless you and many hugs for you. To be honest, I do not know how to stop the spiral, because I am there too, but please know that you have a new friend!!
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Post by messymimi on Dec 28, 2008 23:34:00 GMT -5
Welcome, Messymac  !
One successful starting tactic to remember is that motivation follows action. I usually go into chat and do chores a while, chat a while. It is often the only way anything gets done around here.
There are no right or wrong ways to start. Read some posts, get some ideas, try a few, see what works for you.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by crazycatlady on Dec 29, 2008 21:22:41 GMT -5
Welcome, MessyMac! Sometimes life can get us down, that is so true. And many people here deal with kids who are unwilling to help. If you post a question on the general board asking for advice or help in motivating kids, you will get lots of good ideas.
I'm glad that you have found us. You will find lots of help and encouragement here! 
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Post by notsomessyshell on Dec 30, 2008 2:41:38 GMT -5
Welcome! I have a teenage son who used to be a big help and now is not as much. It is a battle sometimes I feel is not worth the fight. Hugs to you. There are so many great people here who have given me great ideas and suggestions, support and encouragment and most of all have held me accountable! I fight depression and am on meds for it. I still have problems getting started some days. Listzilla and Accountability partners are both great places to start.
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 30, 2008 5:21:24 GMT -5
welcome, messymac! you will find the help and support here that you need, whether your sons learn to help you or not. i hope you can keep your housekeeping help through this difficult transition. wishing you the best.
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Post by heylady1 on Dec 30, 2008 15:29:05 GMT -5
Hello Messymac  I can relate to the boys not helping. I have one son (20) and although he's good now about cleaning up after himself in the common rooms, he's not very good in his own room. I have made myself a promise to help him clean his room while I'm off work this week. And yet, the room is still a mess.  As for getting started, I find that if I read about other people's progress in Listzilla that it will often motivate me to do something too. I don't often post there but I do read it alot. As they say around here, motivation follows action and it is true. Getting up to do one thing may lead you to do another, and another, etc... |
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