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Post by OnTheMend on Sept 10, 2023 8:01:32 GMT -5
Welcome! You have found a wonderful place, look around and jump in to some of the challenges and work together threads, those help so much! Try to break things into small steps, and then do one of those small steps. And when you are ready, do another small step. Post here about your progress, and be pleased with yourself. We will also be proud of you!
Maybe start with your fridge, and throw away old food. Take them out to the bin, and grab another trash bag as you go. Every time you leave the house, take a trash bag out. It will start making an impact very quickly. Concentrate on cleaning paths first and making food prepping areas, fire safety areas (windows and doors), personal hygiene areas, and your bed useable and comfy. You know, places that really matter and that you use daily.
I acknowledge your problems are partially also because of your adult children, and I agree they will need to be part of the solution. How, I don't know. If their ADHD medication is working and their ADHD is under control, they should definitely be able to help. As someone who has ADHD, anxiety and depression, I do know these can greatly affect on house keeping energy and ability - HOWEVER I also know that having a clean and tidy and organized and calm home is ESSENTIAL for my welbeing, and makes my symptoms much better. Everyone who lives there needs to participate in housework, it is non-negotiable. I hope you will find some great ideas that work.
<3
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Post by def6 on Oct 3, 2023 10:05:09 GMT -5
Hello 16bitbettyI'm late replying here, but I can certainly relate to the feeling of overwhelm no matter where you turn. Yes! Overwhelm can make you want to just go lay in the bed and pull the covers way up! Way to go for getting started in the right direction! It is wonderful to have a friend that you don't mind letting in ...one that can help you. That's what friends are for.
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Post by notanotherdecade on Oct 3, 2023 12:00:54 GMT -5
Hello, gosh, a whole family with ADD, that's going to be quite a challenge.. Your problems with having to pay for even basic rubbish disposal makes me appreciate our free system, and I should probably make a point of getting more out of the house now before we copy the American system.. I I am relieved that your college kid has more orderly habits, touch-wood he will continue to follow a more normal path. I hope you can find the strength to make the changes that you and the family need to prevent the other two following further down the road of chaos and overwhelm. I notice it's been about a moth since you joined SOoS, hopefully the various discussions on the forum have given some inspiration
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eleanora
New Member
Joined: November 2023
Posts: 7
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Post by eleanora on Nov 1, 2023 12:47:02 GMT -5
Hi, I am about 20 years older than you are (this is serving as my introduction, but I have been on here before...years ago...it did not work for me). I can relate to your feeling overwhelmed. Nothing seems to work for me, no systems, books, forums etc. You get some little thing done and the hole fills back up with sand again and it all seems so futile. Meanwhile, your health is sliding. This creates a motivation problem (housework is painful, unrewarding, unremunerative, repetitive and depressing). This has been a lifelong problem for me as well. Tried meds (gave me microstroke, had to stop). I have poor organizing skills. I have one child still at home, with a job, paying rent. But he is not someone who pitches in with housework, and frankly my pets are not actually his responsibility anyway (he brought 2 pets with him and have taken on a few fosters from my daughter's father's farm, that place is hell for any poor animal to live tbh...just a lot of feral cats breeding in the barn) since he moved in, so now we have... a lot of pets). I grew up in a hoarder/too-many-animals home and my mom grew up in one as well, but her mom (my grandmom) had a housekeeper at least to make a dent in it once in a while. So 3 generations of dysfunction. Also medical issues (arthritis, needing knee and hip replacement, FM, IBS, etc.). You know what really helped me a bit, for a while, was getting a professional organizer in. This was in the state I lived in last, in the big city (I also work full time, but telecommute). She had a different kind of brain. She went through a lot of belongings with me and we sorted out stuff I was unlikely to ever use again. Sentimental stuff all got boxed up for its own self-protection while we plowed through the rest of it. She sourced me a lot of vertical storage units on Facebook Marketplace. That helped a lot. I traded a lot of my non-"pretty"/antique/valuable books in for e-books. I put a lot of my kids' stuff into their own rooms and told them to keep it in there...this kept the living room clear of their stuff, "mostly", at least. But then I moved states and I have no organizer to come in and help me make decisions about "stuff and systems" now. I can't even find someone to come in and deep clean at a rate I can afford (which frankly is worth any number of other less important expenses because it is sanity-saving...at least for a teeny while until it starts getting dirty again). The fridge is starting to fill up again, I am forgetting what is in there, my floors are very dirty but it is too painful to clean them, and it's all starting over again. I am in a very rural area right now with no professional organizers around at all. It sounds like you are on the right track, as getting help "from outside" is the best thing I ever did. I have to use contractor bags too. Lots of pet waste. There is some trash I could probably burn, but I am worried about bothering my neighbors. Last place I lived, they complained about floating ash and I had to stop burning the burnable trash. I would give them an ultimatum of one week to clear their old meal stuff out and if no one does anything, just toss it. I have been wondering if you ever tried a Litter Robot. I have been thinking about it but 1) they are very expensive and 2) any technical gadgety thing tends to just sit there in my house and "become more junk" when something goes wrong and I can't figure it out. I also have craft mess to deal with. Can really relate about feeling overwhelmed though. My dishwasher is currently broken and awaiting repair, and it made my life so much easier. Spent most of my life without one and it really helped me to have one. I am wondering if you have one?
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Post by Arid on Nov 1, 2023 14:23:45 GMT -5
Welcome back, eleanora!!
Your post is much appreciated!
Arid
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