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Post by Nael_C on Dec 26, 2023 2:20:12 GMT -5
My condolences on the loss of your dear mother ((((( Nael_C ))))). The grieving for one's mother is hard, even harder if hampered by guilt. There is no way for anyone to be in full control of another's dying and death. It is their own journey ultimately, following causes and conditions that can't be fathomed by a grieving family who did what they were able to do to try to prevent it. Please be easy on yourself as you grieve and release yourself from doubt and guilt. I hope returning your home to order will help you through the next little while. Soft hugs for you. Thank you so much for the hugs and lovely words mynicehome!
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Post by Nael_C on Dec 26, 2023 2:49:40 GMT -5
Nael_C: I know that it has become something of a cliché, but I honestly can say, "No matter how old we might be, it still hurts to lose one's parent(s)." You have my greatest sympathy. It takes--at least(!);don't ask me how I know(!)--a full **six months** before one can begin to "come out of the fog" that comes with the death of a loved one. Given the exhausting, excruciating experience you've had, it may take even longer; so, be patient with yourself. Do little "bits and bobs" as you can. (Remember that other old saying? "If you take care of the pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves.") The day will come when you can take on bigger projects. I wish you well. Arid Thank you so much dear Arid for all the advice, info and wishes!
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Post by mylittlescholar on Dec 26, 2023 6:32:52 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss, Nael_C. 
glad you made your way back here. my friends and I have found that just tackling one estate-related thing at a time was more than enough, and we found building in some kind of restful routine at night helpful.
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Post by Nael_C on Dec 26, 2023 21:57:50 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss, Nael_C . 
glad you made your way back here. my friends and I have found that just tackling one estate-related thing at a time was more than enough, and we found building in some kind of restful routine at night helpful.
Thank you so much @mylittlescholar! I feel exhausted even by seeing all the things that need sorting out. My mom had many things, bless her, so there are piles of boxes and packets and bags to get through and I cannot find myself emotionally ready to start... In fact I have no idea how to tackle all these on top of my house right now. But I keep hope that eventually, one step at a time, I will.
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Post by phoenixcat on Dec 27, 2023 10:19:37 GMT -5
Nael_C My sympathies on the loss of your mom.  . I lost my mother last year and although in my case it was expected - it is so HARD especially around the holidays. We lost our brother in law to Covid in 2021 so I'm also part of the "what if" club - thinking of all the things that should have, would have, could have.  There are so many hard decisions to make that are absolutely necessary such as business type things - take your time over anything that can wait. I've shoved most of the emotional stuff into bins/boxes in my basement. Lots of delayed decisions but that's OK. I'm sort of the last one in my DM's line so there is some comfort that there is no wrong decision - no one cares but me.  . Be gentle with yourself. Enjoy your times with your loved ones - making those memories are more precious than anything else. Sending love and prayers. PC
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Post by Nael_C on Dec 27, 2023 10:29:39 GMT -5
Nael_C My sympathies on the loss of your mom. . I lost my mother last year and although in my case it was expected - it is so HARD especially around the holidays. We lost our brother in law to Covid in 2021 so I'm also part of the "what if" club - thinking of all the things that should have, would have, could have. There are so many hard decisions to make that are absolutely necessary such as business type things - take your time over anything that can wait. I've shoved most of the emotional stuff into bins/boxes in my basement. Lots of delayed decisions but that's OK. I'm sort of the last one in my DM's line so there is some comfort that there is no wrong decision - no one cares but me. . Be gentle with yourself. Enjoy your times with your loved ones - making those memories are more precious than anything else. Sending love and prayers. PC phoenixcat, thank you so much for sharing the stories of your loved ones. Means a lot to me. And for giving me the idea to just put the task aside for a little bit, until I feel more ready. My best wishes for having some warm, huggy times these days.
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Post by def6 on Dec 27, 2023 22:50:51 GMT -5
So sorry to hear of your mother's passing Nael_C Don't worry about any messes , just take good care of yourself. |
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Post by catcats on Dec 29, 2023 21:59:23 GMT -5
Dear Nael-C, Ah, if only any of us had the power to keep someone from passing away when we so want them to hang on and stay. I hope you will be able to accept that there was nothing you could have done to keep your dear Mom here. Nothing. Please be gentle with yourself. You have been through so much and you need to be your own special advocate now. Think cups of tea, warm throws, cuddling on the sofa , watching movies. And think of just doing bits and pieces of homekeeping, when your energy level allows you to do that. Dinner, duds, and dishes may be all you can do
some days. Allow yourself the time to gradually be better, feel better. It will take you some time. Don't rush it and do too much. Remember---gentle, my dear.
catcats
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Post by cando on Jan 8, 2024 9:05:19 GMT -5
I just read this thread.
I’m so very sorry. I’m hoping you can find some comfort in the memories you share.
Again, my sincere condolences.
Luv,
CD
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Post by Nael_C on Feb 2, 2024 22:32:18 GMT -5
Thank you so much dear catcats, cando and def6! As expected, my psychology and energy levels haven't been of optimum condition. I also had a mouth surgery, which was long needed, so add to that swelling and pain. But I keep coming back to the forum and writing down my small successes and learning to take it day by day. Catcats, indeed, I am only doing the basics at this point... |
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Post by mylittlescholar on Feb 3, 2024 13:37:46 GMT -5
just doing basics is a huge success when in recovery mode! I'm patting you on the back and changing your ice pack.
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Post by danny15 on Feb 3, 2024 16:15:22 GMT -5
Dear Nael_C somehow I missed your thread here. I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your mother. Praying for much comfort to surround you as you go thru each new season without her.
   
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Post by Nael_C on Feb 5, 2024 15:43:05 GMT -5
You guys are melting my heart...Thank you very much @mylittlescholar and danny15! My best wishes to you both for 2024, may this year be one of health, love and serenity for all! |
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