msmishka
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 11
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Post by msmishka on Jan 7, 2009 4:15:13 GMT -5
*sigh*
I'd typed this up once before tonight, but I waited too long to post it and lost the actual post.
I'm 27, live with my parents, am a graduate student in Experimental Psychology with only my thesis left to complete, and I live in squalor. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 18, and from 1999-2003 (when I was on my meds - i was forced off of them in 2003), my room was actually presentable. Before and after that?! HA. I maintained around a level 1.5-2 squalor. Recently, the level has bumped up to a consistent 2.5-3(rotted food, not so much the rest). Since 2003 I've struggled with unexplained chronic pain that only subsided last summer with a diagnosis of Celiac disease (that's a LONG story), and the depression that went along with that unending pain.
My mother has not been very supportive of my recent excavation efforts, saying that " created it, lived in it for so long, so why should rush to fix it now?" The most pressing reason is the mouse that I saw at 2:30 Friday morning. The other reason is that I just can't get started on that thesis, and my space is part of that problem. And you know what? I desperately want to live in a calm, clean environment. The rest of the house is clean (my parents are cleanies and mom has a housekeeper that she refuses to share anymore), but I'm uncomfortable down there. This is my space, and I want it to be my sanctuary from the negativity elsewhere.
I don't seem to know how to live another way, not consistently, and that is why I am here. Here, there are others who understand what it is like to create the mess but hate it at the same time.
Thanks for your time, and I look forward to getting to know the community-
Michelle
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Post by wind on Jan 7, 2009 4:26:36 GMT -5
Hey there! Welcome!
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jan 7, 2009 8:29:15 GMT -5
Welcome! You not only need a nice calm environment, but you deserve it! Get some traps for that mouse.
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Post by lulu1949 on Jan 7, 2009 12:45:34 GMT -5
Welcome !
As for that mouse, may I suggest a kitty cat ?!?!?!?
Hang in there. You can do it ! You will have your sanctuary soon - just take babysteps. It will all come together in time !!
Hugs,
Lulu
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Post by pegasus48 on Jan 7, 2009 13:40:45 GMT -5
Welcome to S.O.S.  You will get lots of support and a lot of good ideas from everyone here. Glad you joined us. |
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msmishka
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 11
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Post by msmishka on Jan 7, 2009 13:41:43 GMT -5
Hello- and thanks for the replies!
I caught the mouse, um, Sunday morning? Freaked out too, since I'm truly afraid of them*, but since mousing hour is at 2:30, and I didn't want to wake my father up (not that I would have let him come in my room anyway), I called my bf and had him stay on the phone while I picked up the trap and put it into the trash. So far, I haven't seen any more signs of current mice. I just keep finding the "evidence" that they were there. I have two attic accesses in my suite - a door in the bathroom that has a large gap underneath it and a hole in the sheetrock next to it, and one in my closet. Talk about FEAR! Again, with the boy on the phone, I cleared the space in front of those areas so that I could put poison in the attics and stuff steel wool anywhere that the mice could possibly get through.
I actually have a cat, that the bf bought for me in '07, but my mother cannot stand cats, so I'm not allowed to have her here. I can only visit her at his house. I did, however, bring my dog up here, mainly for my comfort. Sophie is no mouser!
I still have 5 traps laid out around the room, and one between the bathroom and the study (just in case they may be in there). Oh! Dad also put 4 more D-Con baits in the attic space above my room, as well as 5 traps up there.
**Story time: Once, about 8 (goodness- has it been that long already?!) years ago, I was sitting in my bed, watching tv. My old bassinet was along the wall next to my bed, filled with my stuffed animal collection. My phone sat on top of the animals. Well, late that night, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. A mouse was climbing UP THE PHONE CORD! This thing was all of 2.5' from my bed! And then I saw another do the same thing! Well, I flipped, ran to find some boots, a broom, and my old dog. I started poking at the stupid bassinet so that I could get them out of there. My parents picked on me horribly, mom took the dog and stuffed a towel under her own door (she's downstairs! what were they going to do? run down the stairs to get her?!), and told me that I was on my own. I got sticky traps and shopping bags and eventually, after about 4 days, caught 4 mice. That experience left me with a pretty big fear of them. Then, 2 years later, I walked into my room and found a snake in the doorway to my bathroom! Dad had to come in here for that one. That's been a lifelong phobia. Cannot do snakes. *snrk* At the time, I was preparing to have surgery on my knee, but that day I forgot all about the pain, dropped my crutches, ran down the stairs and hopped on the table. And then dad didn't believe me!! He swore that it was just my shoelaces and "blah blah you have such a mess in here how would you know OH MY GOODNESS!" yeah. And no, we don't live in the country, but there is a golf course right in back of us, and I think they must be coming from there.
Right now, I'm trying to attack my bathroom space so that I can bring what belongs in here Out of my room, so that the room can be cleaned. I'm trying to be ruthless with my decision making, but I find that unless I'm actually angry, it's hard to do. I can be quite indecisive about most things that have to do with organization and cleaning. I need plans!
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Post by messymimi on Jan 7, 2009 14:12:45 GMT -5
Welcome, MsMishka  !
It's okay that you don't yet know how to live any other way -- that's what many of us are here to learn or relearn.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by crazycatlady on Jan 7, 2009 22:56:27 GMT -5
One step at a time, and you will get there, MsMishka.
It sounds like the meds really helped. Any chance of getting them restarted?
We are battling a mouse infestation, too. So icky. You were very brave to dispose of the mouse yourself! 
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msmishka
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 11
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Post by msmishka on Jan 8, 2009 1:22:28 GMT -5
Unfortunately no. Not while I still live with my parents. The med that I was on supposedly caused some heart problems, but mom doesn't want me on any other versions of it, stimulant or no. So I will wait.
Good luck with your mice!
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Post by AnnieOkie on Jan 8, 2009 14:18:22 GMT -5
is it that they're paying for your meds? no offense, but if meds make a difference, you can't let others choose for you. I have to agree with pickles here...you are an adult and you should be able to choose what meds you take. BTW...welcome to the board! Know what you mean about seeing a mouse at 2:30 in the morning....no fun! |
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Post by dayeanu on Jan 9, 2009 0:11:35 GMT -5
Welcome to your new family.
I, too, have a really hard time cleaning after getting a dose of my family's negativity, which is pretty much constant. I used to have to get really angry to accomplish much. Now, sometimes, I get so inspired reading the messages here, and looking at the photos, that I am inspired to clean.
I've not been here too long, either. I posted 'before" pictures, which was scary, but I felt like I needed to do, for some reason I can't exactly recall right now. It was a good experience. People looked at my mess and were still nice to me. I've never had so much acceptance and support in my life. Also, everyone else saw things I didn't see or notice. For that matter, I saw things through the photos that I didn't see otherwise. Someone suggested that I read here daily and post daily. I do, and I can tell it makes a difference.
I'm glad you're here.
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msmishka
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 11
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Post by msmishka on Jan 9, 2009 20:32:32 GMT -5
Been away from the board itself for a day or two, but hello and thanks for the replies!
Yes, they're paying for my meds (and i don't have a job, and am not currently ready to get one), and while I live under their roof, well, I follow (most of) their rules and limitations.
I've slowed down my cleaning in the past two days as well, which is causing me to panic, but I hope to do more tonight. The weekend will hopefully be devoted to working on writing my intro, so I want to finish the aggravating areas in my room (the ones that will distract me).
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Post by Ican on Jan 10, 2009 23:26:18 GMT -5
Hello! Glad you're here!  |
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Post by skatters on Jan 11, 2009 22:15:09 GMT -5
Welcome Michelle! Glad to hear you got the mice. I am sure they are ALL gone now. As a matter of fact, I am positive they are ALL gone. Now, you can worry about better things than those stinky, nasty lil rodents. : ) Welcome! Make yourself right at home! The working in threes thread in listzilla is always a nice place to start. Be sure to take pictures of your 'before' - even if you don't want to share them. But that way *you* have a reference. |
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msmishka
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 11
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Post by msmishka on Jan 14, 2009 1:54:04 GMT -5
Thank you for your kind messages!
I've been spending the past few days trying to work on my intro, so the room oraganization has stopped, and I'm just doing what I can to not add more junk. Trash in trashcan, taking bowls out, etc.
After complaining about the difficulty I was having with my work, my mother had a change of heart and allowed me to go back on my meds today. SUCH A DIFFERENCE! I can read the words and understand them again! Words go in, get processed, and actually come back out! I love that.
See you all in the list thread soon (I hope to pick back up (here) this weekend, after I'm done with my writing for my Friday deadline).
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