nevermore
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 25
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Post by nevermore on Jan 11, 2009 16:41:08 GMT -5
I've never really kept a clean room. My mom wasn't a bad housekeeper, but I just never cared about my surroundings. I went out on my own at age 18 with a baby in tow and pregnant. The father's mother always made sure I felt like less than a human being for my lack of housekeeping. She called CPS on me and it was never bad enough for them to take my children, but I was constantly berated for small things like sheets slipping off the kids beds. Even the berating and the year of weekly home visits didn't change me.
Fast forward a decade or so. I'm now married with two big kids and one little one with my husband. We bought a home. My ex had CPS come and inspect (this time I forced them to get a police officer and a warrant) and the lady claimed it "smelled bad" but they never came back. In March, I had a life threatening illness and almost died in surgery. I now want to live. I want to write my novel and I want to do it in a clean house. My husband keeps insisting he didn't marry a woman who wanted a clean house and only cleans what he feels like when he feels like it. I found out I raised three kids who also have absolutely no desire to have a clean home and asking for their help in keeping clean sheets on their beds and the floors picked up is like declaring war. I'm going back to court over custody and the lawyer wants pictures of my house and if I don't the judge will believe it's worse than it really is.
I'm getting no support in my own home so hopefully I can find some here.
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Post by messymimi on Jan 11, 2009 19:55:08 GMT -5
Welcome, Nevermore  !
This is the place to come when you need support to change your thinking and your house. You can find lots of support and ideas.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Post by annieblue on Jan 11, 2009 20:40:50 GMT -5
Hello & Welcome, Nevermore! You will definitely find support here! Read, post, stop into Chat, read, post, stop into Chat, read, post, stop into Chat! Just keep coming back! And ask for any particular help you might need too. Lots of WISDOM here. Best to you.  |
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Post by skatters on Jan 11, 2009 22:06:04 GMT -5
Welcome nevermore! You are definitely among friends here.
This site has made a difference in my life. Seriously.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jan 11, 2009 22:10:57 GMT -5
Welcome! I can't imagine almost dying. You have been through quite a bit. You have come to the right place for support and wisdom. You can do it!
I had a family that was not helping me either. But as I go along and get more and more areas clean they are seeing the difference and are starting to come around. I started pointing out how much better it was to get ready for school when Youngest knows where his clothes are, (in the drawer), his shoes, (by his bed), homework, (on the desk), etc. He is now starting to put his stuff away. I think he had to see how it is in a cleaner house. He had no idea how it was. The unknown.
I hope your family comes around, too!
Come visit us in chat. Encouragement and challenges can make it more fun to do projects.
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Post by rainbowgoddess on Jan 12, 2009 1:56:12 GMT -5
Hi Nevermore!
Unfortunately, I can understand where your kids are coming from. My parents never really bothered much about cleaning, and so my sister and I both are chronic messies from growing up like that. But you can't change the kids, only yourself. But maybe if they see you working at it, they'll learn from your example? I'm slowly trying to work myself out of a lifetime of being messy. It's not easy, but that's why we're all here, isn't it?
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Post by eatingbonbons on Jan 12, 2009 16:21:37 GMT -5
Welcome, Nevermore! You'll find lots of support here.
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Post by lorrainemondo on Jan 12, 2009 17:59:44 GMT -5
Nevermore!
I'm with you. Do you use a timer to help you clean? Works very well for some of us.
What is your novel going to be about?
Lorraine
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nevermore
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 25
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Post by nevermore on Jan 12, 2009 19:01:19 GMT -5
Thanks
When and where do I go to chat?
I write sci fi. I keep saying the house comes first, but it doesn't.
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Post by priceoverride on Jan 12, 2009 19:23:20 GMT -5
Welcome, nevermore  Right at the top of this pge, beneath the banner are : Home, search, etc... at the end is Chat. Click Chat, allow it to load and type away on the bottom of each page it tells you how many people are chatting away in there. Stories are great! Good luck with that. You will find lots of help, tips, encouragement and inspiration here, for helping with your home. I know I did,, and still do. |
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nevermore
New Member
Joined: January 2009
Posts: 25
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Post by nevermore on Jan 12, 2009 19:27:19 GMT -5
tried chat and my computer.connection just aren't cooperating now. It runs really slow. I may try it at the library or something another day.
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Post by crazycatlady on Jan 13, 2009 21:01:49 GMT -5
Welcome, Nevermore. I think that as the Mom and lady of the house, it is well within your rights to establish new rules. As I cleaned and reclaimed my home, I added new rules. I often posted a sign, like a piece of paper on the table saying "Keep Table Clear", or one over the sink saying "The sink is closed. If you don't have time to rinse your dish and put it in the dishwasher, don't eat on a dish." Or something like that. Some signs were silly or funny, some were a little mean, and some just were. Maybe they were as much for me as for the kids, as I have some bad habits, still. 
You can learn new skills, and so can your kids (and even your hubby). This place will help. And if you think of it as teaching your kids skills that they will need later, it helps. My kids (ages 9 and up) now know how to do laundry, run the dishwasher, vacuum, clean the sink or toilet. These are all necessary skills. And they know that they are contributing to the family by pitching in. Yes, this was a long slow process, but they have skills that my oldest child never learned from me.
I think that there is time in the day to clean and write that book. Add raising a family, and things will be tight. But you can do it!
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Post by Ican on Jan 14, 2009 2:39:32 GMT -5
Welcome!
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Post by creativechaos on Jan 16, 2009 21:35:02 GMT -5
welcome, nevermore;
you will find support and gentleness here. the people here are wise and generously share what they know, plus lots of hugs and cheers!
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