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Post by charis on Jan 15, 2009 15:07:51 GMT -5
Hi, I am Charis. I was a long-time reader (o, lurker is such a loaded word) of the Squalor Survivors boards. I found this site a few days ago and was delighted to see it. We are a household of four: my husband and I, plus our two teenagers: son in college part-time and working nights, daughter (just driving a car this month) a high-school junior. The company I worked for since 2000 was bought out last year and we have all had to submit resumes for a reduced number of positions---I may find out nothing for months since there is intense restructuring. My husband has a good paying job that he loves in the tech industry. He works from home when he is not traveling. In the 2 months I have been home from my job he has driven me nuts  I finally have admitted to myself that I am drawn to read these boards because I have squalorish tendencies. About five or six years ago my house was heavy 1st degree in most rooms most of the time for about a two year period. I am 43 and had always kept a reasonably tidy house. I never questioned why I let the house get and stay that way so long. When I saw the SS boards though, I recognized in myself a lot of the feelings that I was reading about. For example: inexplicable reluctance to do a specific chore or enter a particular room when perfectly able to do other things, tendency to view myself as "planning" to deal with something when in fact doing nothing about it for months at a time. For the last four years I have again maintained my areas of the house. I cook,launder,bed-make, sweep, dog-walk,water plants. and pick up common areas every day. Every week I mop, scrub kitchen and bathrooms and vac and dust common rooms. I have some too-full, unorganized drawers and closets that are my doing. My husband's office and my children's bedrooms and bath are PITS. I am responsible for the master bedroom and bathroom, kitchen,living room, dining room, laundry room, guest bath, half bath, family room, entryway and all hallways. They are all fairly clean and uncluttered. The two car garage can hold two cars, but my husband has packed the edges up to and over the rafters. I originally found the website when searching for information to help my MIL and FIL who are getting sicker and less capable in a 3rd-degree house, but refuse any help. SS taught me a) It is not my business unless and until tragedy strikes b) I was as upset by my powerlessness over some one else's business as I was by their pain (hard lesson) Currently I am trying to strike a balance with husband and kids' level of cleanliness and mine--how to give everybody respect. Also trying to steel myself up to incorporate cleaning into my routine that I dropped during my squally adventure--cleaning blinds, pruning wardrobe, organizing drawers so I don't need to shut them with a bang of my hip, bathing the dogs before they reek--all the baseboards, windows and high places that I thought would magically get taken care of when I was at home all day. I have immense admiration for the delicacy, tact, and acute powers of analysis frequently displayed by the members here. Looking forward to posting! |
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Post by lulu1949 on Jan 15, 2009 16:36:52 GMT -5
what an inspiring post to read!!
welcome to you. i hope you find as much encouragement and support as i have with this group. we are all in this together !!!!
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Post by messymimi on Jan 15, 2009 20:14:23 GMT -5
Welcome, Charis  !
Your story strikes a chord with me in a couple of areas. My kids (except for Bigger Girl) tend to keep their rooms in pit-like condition, and as much as I love my Sweetie he does make me a bit crazy when he is underfoot all the time .
I'm so glad you are here!
messymimi
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Post by skatters on Jan 16, 2009 1:20:55 GMT -5
Welcome Charis! Your story proves it CAN be done!
I hope you will do more than just be a 'reader' on this site! Jump right in - we are a friendly bunch!
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Post by lorrainemondo on Jan 16, 2009 8:57:00 GMT -5
welcome, Charis!
This is the best place. I'm almost glad I'm squalorous, it's so great.
Lorraine
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Post by eatingbonbons on Jan 16, 2009 20:59:23 GMT -5
Welcome, Charis! I look forward to reading more of your posts.
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Post by dayeanu on Jan 17, 2009 20:48:46 GMT -5
Welcome! So glad you're here!
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Post by crazycatlady on Jan 17, 2009 23:33:41 GMT -5
Welcome, Charis. That is tough that you are out of work in such a difficult market. Nice to finally "meet" you!  Keep reading, and post to let us know how you are doing!
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Post by annieblue on Jan 18, 2009 18:31:08 GMT -5
Greetings & Welcome, Charis!
Congrats on going from a reader to a poster! You will find HELP here. Just keep reading, posting, & come to the Chat room if you want to. Lots of cleaning gets done in there! H I originally found the website when searching for information to help my MIL and FIL who are getting sicker and less capable in a 3rd-degree house, but refuse any help. SS taught me a) It is not my business unless and until tragedy strikes b) I was as upset by my powerlessness over some one else's business as I was by their pain (hard lesson) Reading this has been very helpful to me. I try to keep both of those points in mind while dealing with my mother's completely filled-up house (so as to focus MORE on my own 'squally adventure' at home,) but often I forget. I want to help her, & I feel the need to help her, but she does not want the help. So I straddle the fence between leaving her be & addressing my concerns with her. Thank you for those reminders. I LOVE the way you named my plight!!! Another new way for me to think of my process. And for me it will be FUN to call it 'my squally adventure'. Seeeee, you have ALREADY made a difference by posting here! Best to you, Blue
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