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Hello
Feb 18, 2009 9:43:52 GMT -5
Post by Di Dreaming on Feb 18, 2009 9:43:52 GMT -5
Hello. I am Diane and while I am new to this board but I am not new to Squalor websites. I don't know what I would do without my online friends to help me when I'm down. I look forward to touching base with both new and old friends here.
Right now I am fighting three different battles, depression, ADD (pinging) and perfectionism. The squalor in my life is a symptom rather than a disease in and of itself.
I have yet another deadline and so I struggle. The apartment complex where I reside is being remodeled and yet again my personal space has degenerated into total chaos. At best I have a thin veneer of neatness that shatters way too easily. Underneath the veneer, there is always chaos. With 2 days of warning, I can get the front of the apartment to where I can have people over. I can work for a week and get the apartment looking decent (except for the Room of Doom and I can shut and lock that door) But I can't seem to resolve the underlying problems. There is always too much stuff. I cannot manage to protect my progress. I feel bad and give up. I can't get it perfect so I don't bother doing anything at all. I start yet another project. I flit from thing to thing and at the end of the day realize that I have accomplished nothing.
Yes, I freely admit that I use groups like this to tide me over from crisis to crisis, but I want to get beyond the constant cycle of crisis cleaning. My goal is to be free from clutter and chaos, to live in an organized space where everything has a home.
I have discovered that I don't mind if things are out of place, if I know that they HAVE a place. It's easy to return something to its designated spot. That requires action, not thought. The problem arises when there isn't a place to put something and so it just get dropped. By the time I have "just dropped" everything that I can't put away, I am back to total chaos. I can't deal with boxes of fabric in every room of my house. I can't deal with 200 UFOs in various stages of completion. I can't deal with the Room of Doom where everything has just been shoved in and stacked -- one thing on top of another with no rhyme nor reason.
I have gotten my kitchen to the point where it it not a problem for me. It DOES get dirty and I have to admit it stays that way too long but there is a place for everything and even at its worst, three hours of work will return it to base point.
Now, I need to establish a base point in the other rooms. I acknowledge that I will never be a neat freak, nor will I stop making messes and craft and sewing projects (actually that is a redundancy -- craft and sewing projects ARE messes) I am striving for controlled chaos. I want to be able to trash my sewing area with ONE project -- But first I have to establish a sewing area. Right now I have sewing machines, fabric and patterns in every room including the hall and the bathroom. I want to trash my doll collection and know that when I'm done, each item has an assigned spot where it belongs.
I want my nice things to actually LOOK nice. I have a beautiful vintage art deco multi colored brass vase somewhere on the coffee table. Unfortunately, I haven't seen it in months. I have nice dishes and attractive dining room furniture, but I haven't seen the dining room in several months. I "lost" the living room about a month ago and my bedroom is trying to disappear as well. It's a waste of time for me decorate when I immediately cover it with clutter.
This week I have made some good inroads into emptying hidden caches of clutter. Get out the cattle prod and yell at me to encourage me to keep going. This is doable. It's just not easy.
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Hello
Feb 18, 2009 10:03:17 GMT -5
Post by Blackswan on Feb 18, 2009 10:03:17 GMT -5
Welcome! I understand about the fabric. I had to get rid of a bunch of it when I did my major desqualoring this summer. It was so hard to do at first. But once I put it on the porch to be picked up by the Salvation Army, the anxious feeling went away. But it is so hard to do, I know. Try to maintain your kitchen. Every single night, before bed, go in there and put away whatever needs to be put away so that it looks brand new and shiny. Eventually, after you have a handle on the kitchen for long enough, you can add other small areas. It will take a long time to get out of this mess, but eventually you will. Just eat the elephant one bite at a time!
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Hello
Feb 18, 2009 16:20:02 GMT -5
Post by messymimi on Feb 18, 2009 16:20:02 GMT -5
Welcome, Diane !
"Doable, not easy." Exactly.
This place is the prod I need to remind me of that and to keep me going.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
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Hello
Feb 19, 2009 12:39:14 GMT -5
Post by eatingbonbons on Feb 19, 2009 12:39:14 GMT -5
Welcome, Diane!
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Hello
Feb 19, 2009 15:18:48 GMT -5
Post by valor on Feb 19, 2009 15:18:48 GMT -5
Hi Diane, you're among friends here!
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Hello
Feb 21, 2009 13:38:42 GMT -5
Post by crazycatlady on Feb 21, 2009 13:38:42 GMT -5
Hello, friend!
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Hello
Feb 22, 2009 2:27:29 GMT -5
Post by Ican on Feb 22, 2009 2:27:29 GMT -5
Hello! Welcome!
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Hello
Feb 27, 2009 3:52:31 GMT -5
Post by creativechaos on Feb 27, 2009 3:52:31 GMT -5
hello diane, from a sister art-er/crafter! you are welcome here and yes i totally understand and agree that things you are keeping and using must have a home. the decision making is the hard part.
you sound ahead of the game; you know what needs to be done in getting the other rooms to a base point. that is good! you'll find lots of support and great ideas here.
"controlled chaos"....i love that concept!
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