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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 18, 2009 19:52:30 GMT -5
- I just wanted to re-affirm my welcome to you.
Hugs, Lioness
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Post by crazycatlady on Mar 18, 2009 20:53:46 GMT -5
Welcome to Soos. Your story is certainly very heartbreaking. Please stick around, this community has brought healing to so many, and it can work for you, too.
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Post by messymimi on Mar 18, 2009 21:44:19 GMT -5
Welcome, Neeshieneesh !
messymimi
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Post by lorrainemondo on Mar 19, 2009 13:59:27 GMT -5
Welcome! I am about to sproing out of my chair and proceed with 15 minutes of cleaning in honour of your arrival.
May you get where you want to go one step at a time.
Lorraine
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 21, 2009 13:35:28 GMT -5
hello neeshieneesh; my heart goes out to you. i am a hoarder and squalorer too. this group has been my lifeline.
what happened to you just makes the problem worse, because you have had so much trauma. i strongly suggest that you and your husband go out and buy the book "buried in treasures" by randy frost and gail steketee and read it together and discuss it. it is the most compassionate and helpful book, the most important book, on hoarding ever written. the are others too that offer something wonderful, but if you had to have only one, i would say that one.
if you can find it in your heart to forgive your husband and ask that he read the book along with you, you two may find help there and begin to understand each other and regain closeness. they also have an online support group for hoarders (frost and steketee) but it's private, and i have been unable to find it. there is a big waiting list too. depending where you live, you may be able to see them. they are based in boston, ma.
your situation has been pretty dire, i am sure they would accept you into the group and you can begin to make the cognitive changes necessary so that you are the one in control and making decisions about your things and the underlying thoughts and feelings. until you address the need to acquire, you'll just go out and do it again, as i have done. since you have so much PTSD around what has happened to you -- a horrific way to deal with hoarding and squalor -- you will need to move slowly and find someone you can trust to be gentle and respectful of where you are at.
i am so sorry for all that you've been through, but so glad you found us!
private message me with any questions, i might know of more resources and books to recommend. the important thing right now is non-acquiring as much as possible. there is much inner work to do. if you are still basically "cleaned out", this is a perfect time to begin to address the inner stuff and deal with that so you never find yourself in this situation again.
great big hugs to you sister. you are safe here. people will be here for you every step of the way.
lilith, thank you so much for that excerpt from man's search for meaning. that brought tears.
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