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Post by slothzilla on Mar 26, 2009 18:59:59 GMT -5
Hi All,
Another newbie here, first post. Glad to have found this community of folks suffering from the same problem that I have...its good to have a support network.
I've always been a slob, but I seem to have gotten worse in the past few years. I think that is due to a couple of reasons - I'm a 'collector' of many things (comics, books, dvds, videos, toys, guitars, amps, to name a few areas of interest.) My collecting habits have gotten a little out of control ever since I discovered ebay 6 or 7 years ago (I bought about 60 vintage lunchboxes last year....and boy, do they take up a lot of room!) When I was younger, I could clean up my entire apartment in a day's time...those days are looooong gone!
Also, as I've hit middle age, I've developed a few minor health ailments (nothing serious thank God). They're mostly of a gastrointestinal nature, but this has led to my developing anemia, which has made my ***, procrastinating nature even worse. Also I suffer from slight depression. Being a a ***, procrastinating, depressed, anemic 'packrat' collector is not a good combination.
My girlfriend passed away just before Christmas, and my overall depression has been much worse since then. However, I've been trying to clean up some in stages ever since, and that has been good therapy. We didn't live together, but I spent a lot of time at her place, and I always considered being at her place as a vacation away from my pigsty of an apartment.
We lived in the same apartment complex, and my apartment was just down the hill from hers. When we first met I lived elsewhere, and after a couple of years of dating she suggested that I move into her complex...it was a very nice arrangement. We could spend a lot lot of time together, but still have our own space. Its funny, when I was with her I never felt depressed...it would just hit me when I was alone at my place. She always had some serious health issues going on, as well as other drama, and I always tried to keep a positive outlook for her.
To look at the insides of our apartments, you'd never even know they had the same floorplan; her's was very 'feng shui', stylish, airy and comfortable - mine is wall to wall shelves filled with books, guitars, magazines, dvds, knick knacks, etc. She had a nice bed and always spared no expense on such things as pillows and sheets - I got the cheapest mattress I could find, and the cheapest sheets & blankets...and boy, can you tell the difference! Sleeping on my bed was excruciating after spending a few nights sleeping on hers. (Plus there's usually a lot of boxes, books, stacks of comics, a guitar, etc piled on the side of my mattress that crowd me and my dog).
When I first met her, I lived in a basement apartment of a very old house. I cleaned it up for about 2 weeks non-stop before she came over for the first time...I was very proud of the way it looked when she finally saw my place. After about 10 minutes of looking around she said something to the effect of "What a dump! I'm never spending the night here!" (that makes her sound rather snotty, but actually she was very sweet).
When I moved into her complex, I tried to keep my place clean (moving helped me get rid of a lot of junk, and to get a fresh start organizing/decorating), but after a couple of years, my old habits got the best of me, and I relapsed into being a big slob. It got so bad that I quit inviting people over, would discourage visitors, and not have maintenance people fix things, for fear they might report to the landlord how messy my apt. is.
I love my apt., I honestly think that its the best deal in town - its a two bedroom townhouse, and easily the biggest apartment I've ever had. When I first moved here 8 years ago, I thought "wow, it sure is nice to have all this extra space". Now I'm wishing I had an extra room, and am considering renting a storage space. (Sometimes I think about selling maybe about a third of my stuff on ebay, but when I think about all the time, effort, and waiting in line at the post office that would eat up, I give up on that idea quickly.)
Anyway, back to my apartment - the one drawback is that this is an old complex, and if you are not tidy, you will get rodents. And I'm not talking cute little brown field mice, but large black rats. My girlfriend never had any problems at all with them, but her next-door neighbor (who is also 'domestically-challenged') has had them, and I've had them.
When I was cleaning my spare bedroom recently (which is my catch-all room, where I keep most of my comics, toys, computers, musical instruments, etc.) I found a dead rat. He had been dead a while, and that explained where all the flies have been coming from in the middle of winter. That was a bit of a wake up call. Even though I'm a slob, I make a point not to leave food or perishable debris around, as to not attract bugs or rodents - I never even take food to my upstairs area. So even if you don't leave food around, if you generally just have a lot of stuff everywhere, it will attract rodents. (they seem to like paper, unfortunately).
My place probably was at its worse around last Labor Day. It got to the point where I couldn't open my front door without junk mail and packing peanuts from old ebay boxes spilling outside. My key broke off in the lock then, and my girlfriend couldn't find the key I gave her, so I had to call maintenance to fix it. I stayed up all night cleaning my small little foyer area up, just so the maintenance guy would have room to work (and to give the illusion that place was somewhat clean). I literally spent about 15 hours on about the first 10 feet of my apt.
I've managed to keep that 10 feet fairly clean since then, and it really makes a difference coming home to at least a little sane area before encountering the huge mess that is the rest of my apartment. When my girlfriend finally lost her long battle with her health problems in December, that of course was a shock to me on many levels. I remember later that night while sitting in my place thinking "My God, I'm going to have to start spending a lot more time here".
So I started to cleaning, and have made a lot of progress since then. Also, my girlfriend's sister gave me a lot of her stuff, and that has inspired me to clean up and organize even more, in an effort to make my apartment worthy of so many of my girlfriend's nicer things (plus just to make room for them). Even though I've made a lot of progress, I still have a lot of work to do though. I want the place to be clean and tidy enough to start having people over again, and when I eventually start dating again, I don't want it to scare anyone off. (which I think may have happened a few times after my divorce 20 years ago...)
Monday when I got home, I had a notice from my landlord that they needed to crawl through an access panel in one of my bedroom closets into the attic, to set a squirrel (or more likely, rat) trap. (I have an end unit, and apparently its the only access to the attic for the whole building). I'd been concentrating mainly on the downstairs, and have that somewhat presentable, but the upstairs bedrooms were another story! I took yesterday off, and cleaned out my bedroom and its closet as best I could...also cleaned the shower, just in case they looked in there. Thank God I started cleaning the overall apartment back in December or I would've had a panic attack this week!
I often am running behind on so many projects, that I will buy new clothes at least once a month just because I don't have time to do laundry (especially socks and underwear). After almost a decade of doing this, it created a veritable mountain of dirty clothes. That's mainly what I was dealing with yesterday....I didn't have time to wash anything, but I bagged them up and labeled the bags "summer" , "winter", "towels, blankets, sheets", etc....and donated about 5 bags worth of clothes to the thrift store. I still have way more clothes than I actually have room for, so I will have to sort out more to donate once they are washed (which will hopefully be within a couple of months, if I wash some every week, as I plan to).
Hopefully I got the upstairs clean enough so that the maintenance man won't comment to the apartment manager about it...(the first time they renewed my lease, they inspected the place beforehand to make sure I wasn't trashing it up, ever since then I've been lucky and have not had any inspections...I'm hoping that doesn't change!)
Well sorry for all the rambling, just wanted to say "hi" to all my kindred spirits out there, and good luck to you all!
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Post by skatters on Mar 26, 2009 19:17:31 GMT -5
Hi Slothzilla! Welcome to our little neck of the woods. It sounds like you are in the right place!
Great job on all the progress you have made! Sorry they have to come in to set the "rat" trap... that would stress me out too!
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Post by def6 on Mar 26, 2009 21:23:36 GMT -5
welcome to this place and good luck on the clean up! So sorry about your girlfriend too. best of luck to you
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centime
New Member
Age Is Relative
Joined: March 2009
Posts: 7
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Post by centime on Mar 26, 2009 22:55:46 GMT -5
Welcome slothzilla!  Please don't apologize for "rambling". Your post was interesting to read, and everything you have to say is valid. I tend to be "wordy" too, so you won't be the only one! I am so sorry to hear about your girlfriend passing away. That is such a difficult thing to deal with especially at that time of year (and I know how that feels, times over). I hope you have peace in your life. It sounds like you are motivated to get your apartment back; that is a lot of it right there. The rats would be horrible to have to deal with; I have many, many spiders, which I have gotten used to, but also so many other little bugs *shudders* which I have definitely not gotten used to. Critters do love paper. Its good to have you here, especially to have another male perspective. Let us know how the inspection went, okay? And good luck with it. centime |
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Post by Ican on Mar 27, 2009 0:24:17 GMT -5
Hello & Welcome! Glad you're here! |
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Post by slothzilla on Mar 27, 2009 7:51:02 GMT -5
Thanks for the welcome and the condolences. I loved her so much, and my life seems so empty now. But life goes on, and you've got to make the most of things (I know it sounds corny, but sometimes it feels like her spirit is helping me to get motivated cleaning my apartment).
Yesterday when I got home, there was a copy of the maintenance report left. To my horror, I see that they came into my apt. friday or monday without my knowing about it, but didn't attempt to go into the attic due to all the stuff in the way (this was noted in the report). Yikes. My lease is up in July, I hope to have my place totally spic-and-span by then, just in case they want to inspect the place before renewing my lease. I usually need external motivation to clean up, and I've got plenty of extra incentive now.
There's no hope for the carpet, but I have been here for 8 years after all....I bought some rugs recently to hide the big stains. I bought a steam cleaner too, but that's going to be an all-weekend project, and I might put that off for another month or so (I want to de-clutter more before taking that on, since steam cleaning the carpet will require moving stuff around a lot..plus it will be really warm and sunny by then, and that helps me get going).
I think I might go ahead and put the new rugs down this weekend, rather than wait until after the carpet is cleaned. Visually, that will make the place seem cleaner than it really is, and make me feel like I'm making more progress (which I think is important as a morale booster).
In a way, I'm glad that I was forced to clean up my bedroom this week...I probably would've put it off for another several weeks (this room, although a giant mess, has been my lowest priority, since I'm the only one who ever sees it). Cleaning off my bed, straightening up the mattress so that its finally level with the boxsprings again (and not half-sliding off, like it has been for months), and putting new sheets on it has really made a difference in my quality of sleep, and helps to maintain my sanity (plus my dog seems to like it too...he's not sliding off the mattress anymore.).
Two years ago I bought a new chester drawers, but I still haven't switched it out with my old one...so the new one has been sitting in my dining room this whole time. Since my bedroom is finally clean and un-cluttered enough to finally move out my old chester drawers, the new one will finally go upstairs this weekend. Yay!
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Post by marigold on Mar 27, 2009 9:11:19 GMT -5
Welcome! "comics, books, dvds, videos, toys, guitars, amps, to name a few areas of interest" - You sound very interesting! I was surprised to read the word "***" repeatedly. In the old forum it was a four-letter word and it always got censored with ***. Nothing to do with you ofcourse, but I guess it was to show that nobody's just l_zy. "60 vintage lunchboxes" - take a nice photo of them all together, than another photo of yourself in front of them (or next to them), and maybe another funny one. Then try to get rid of all those lunchboxes in some way. Maybe try freecycle (I think they come to your doors to pick the stuff themselves). Or throw it in a bin. You will still have a nice memento that once you had them all  But you're not obliged to do any of this if you aren't ready emotionally. Hooray for all the progress so far! The hallway, the bedroom... and the new chest of drawers being able to move in there too! YEY!!! Just stick around this site. Everybody's friendly, tolerant and encouraging. You'll make a lot of progress. You sound like once you get your mind to it, you're all action. Like guys usually do on this site. So have a look around, see what fits you best. There was a funny thread in Listzilla called War on Grime takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=action&action=display&thread=4158&page=1 |
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 27, 2009 9:17:39 GMT -5
- I was surprised to read the word "***" repeatedly. In the old forum it was a four-letter word and it always got censored with ***. Nothing to do with you ofcourse, but I guess it was to show that nobody's just l_zy. Actually, the word "lay-zee" really is censored here. We don't call ourselves insulting names like that. Instead, we look to other reasons why we neglect things, reasons that we can act on and change. Apparently, the moderators forgot to program a variant to the word "lay-zee" into the censoring format ... that's when the word is followed by a comma, or in quotations. The rest of the time, it is converted into ***** - By the way, Welcome! And I'll call you "BeginningZilla" instead of "SlothZilla" because I like you.  - |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Mar 27, 2009 9:59:14 GMT -5
Welcome to the board! I am so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend. But I'm glad you are feeling encouraged to make some changes in your living situation. You will find so many good people here with wonderful ideas and hints. Please keep us updated!
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Post by slothzilla on Mar 27, 2009 10:22:53 GMT -5
Welcome! "comics, books, dvds, videos, toys, guitars, amps, to name a few areas of interest" - You sound very interesting! I was surprised to read the word "***" repeatedly. In the old forum it was a four-letter word and it always got censored with ***. Nothing to do with you ofcourse, but I guess it was to show that nobody's just l_zy. "60 vintage lunchboxes" - take a nice photo of them all together, than another photo of yourself in front of them (or next to them), and maybe another funny one. Then try to get rid of all those lunchboxes in some way. Maybe try freecycle (I think they come to your doors to pick the stuff themselves). Or throw it in a bin. You will still have a nice memento that once you had them all But you're not obliged to do any of this if you aren't ready emotionally. Hooray for all the progress so far! The hallway, the bedroom... and the new chest of drawers being able to move in there too! YEY!!! Just stick around this site. Everybody's friendly, tolerant and encouraging. You'll make a lot of progress. You sound like once you get your mind to it, you're all action. Like guys usually do on this site. So have a look around, see what fits you best. There was a funny thread in Listzilla called War on Grime takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=action&action=display&thread=4158&page=1Thanks for the warm words and encouragement. I wasn't aware that "lay-zee" was a taboo word around here, I will be more judicious with my use of it from here on (I'd never apply that term to someone else, just myself). I like your idea about the lunchboxes....I definitely want to get rid of at least 40 or so. While I was collecting them last year , I got caught up in it, thinking "boy they all sure look cool together". After they just about took over an entire room though, I started to wish I hadn't bought so many. Some are worth some money, so maybe I will start selling them on ebay (which is where they all came from anyway). My plan was to save them until retirement and sell most of them then, but they would be taking up a lot of space for the next 20 years! I used to like to be surrounded by "cool stuff" I still like having collectibles around, but the older I get, the more I value empty space. I need to get pickier in my buying habits, I guess. I've never heard of freecycle, thanks for the tip. This spring I want to thin out my clothes, books, old records, etc., and will definitely look into that. It is a good feeling, organizing and cleaning, isn't it? It's weird, it's like a natural high once you can see the results...so why do I hate cleaning so much, and put it off for so long? One of life's great mysteries, I suppose. |
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 27, 2009 12:21:13 GMT -5
Hi, and welcome, my kindred spirit "brother." I am so sorry for the loss of your sweetheart. I believe she is still with you in spirit, helping and encouraging you on. I, too, have succumbed to the eBay slippery slope of "collecting." I have waaaaaaaaay too much stuff. And much of it is valuable. And I, too, like to have "cool" stuff. (You really do sound so much like me!) But I had some experiences recently that caused me to ask myself what is really, REALLY meaningful in my life, and the stuff I bought, is not. I have made myself a vow to rid my life of anything that is not truly meaningful to me. That includes things, activities, people, and just anything that stands in the way of me living like who I genuinely am/want to be. When I think in terms of how I really want to live my life, how I really want to be, who I really want to be, I realize there is really no place for much of what occupies my life and my space right now. And it makes it so much easier to let the meaningless things go. To make room for the the things that are truly meaningful to me! I am impressed that you are able to get up and be so motivated. Did I say I'm glad you're here? I am. Welcome, from your twin sis!  |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Mar 27, 2009 12:39:26 GMT -5
On the Freecycle subject.....Craig's List also has a free section. Thought that might help.
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Post by slothzilla on Mar 27, 2009 17:12:37 GMT -5
Hi, and welcome, my kindred spirit "brother." I am so sorry for the loss of your sweetheart. I believe she is still with you in spirit, helping and encouraging you on. I, too, have succumbed to the eBay slippery slope of "collecting." I have waaaaaaaaay too much stuff. And much of it is valuable. And I, too, like to have "cool" stuff. (You really do sound so much like me!) But I had some experiences recently that caused me to ask myself what is really, REALLY meaningful in my life, and the stuff I bought, is not. I have made myself a vow to rid my life of anything that is not truly meaningful to me. That includes things, activities, people, and just anything that stands in the way of me living like who I genuinely am/want to be. When I think in terms of how I really want to live my life, how I really want to be, who I really want to be, I realize there is really no place for much of what occupies my life and my space right now. And it makes it so much easier to let the meaningless things go. To make room for the the things that are truly meaningful to me! I am impressed that you are able to get up and be so motivated. Did I say I'm glad you're here? I am. Welcome, from your twin sis! Hi Dayeanu, Nice to meet you, twin sis! Thank you for the kind words. I have definitely been coming around more to your way of thinking lately - discarding things that just don't mean that much to me. (or at least banishing them up to my upstairs spare bedroom...a very crowded room!) I did that to an extent the last time I moved, 8 years ago, and it seems like a good time to do that again. Sounds to me like you are a woman who knows what she wants out of life, and is very focused on that. I admire that. Good luck with your life changes. Dealing with the passing of my girlfriend has really put things in a new perspective for me. Looking over all her old photos (many of which were from before she met me), and helping her sister and brother-in-law empty out her apartment, has made me realize that what is important are the friends we make and the things we do, and not the stuff we have. I've always been a big collector, but before the days of ebay, I mostly just collected art books (I'm a commercial artist, and love vintage illustration), comics, original comic art, old movie posters...basically I just collected old paper items, which were easy to store (although boxes of comics do take up a fair amount of room). Ebay makes collecting TOO easy. In the pre-ebay days, it would've probably taken me at least 20 years of constantly searching junk shops to find 60 vintage lunchboxes that I liked enough to buy, instead of the 9 months it took last year. I guess about 5 years ago I started branching out into buying toys, which just take up too much darn room (sometime in the 90s they seemed to start making them more for collectors than kids, the ones I'm interested in anyways...high quality with lots of detail.) Now that I have a bookcase full of Frankenstein and Creature from the Black Lagoon statues, I'm wondering "Do I really need a whole bookcase full of these? A shelf would be enough".  , wish I'd had come to that conclusion sooner. I have friends with houses full of this sort of stuff, and while I'm envious of their collections, I don't want to continue in that direction anymore...I'd rather save up for a nice vacation instead of spending it on another case full of knick knacks, y'know what I mean? (besides, I'm completely out of room for another case full of anything!) Also at some point in the last decade, the quality of Asian imported guitars got a lot better, and suddenly you could get a decent electric guitar for a couple hundred dollars. I went for many years just with one electric, but I accumulated over a dozen in the last few years. Definitely need to "thin the herd"- they take up a lot of space too. I'm sure I'd be just as happy with three or four. AnnieOkie, thanks for the CraigsList tip. I definitely would like the stuff I'm discarding to go to people who appreciate it. |
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Post by autumn on Mar 27, 2009 17:50:09 GMT -5
Hi You have come to the right place! Everyone here is very supportive. I, for sure, have inherited a collector gene- (fathers side I have tried very hard to cull the herd and only keep my top 2 or 3 of any collection. Less than 3 is not a collection (or so I have read) Good Luck! I know it is difficult to lose a loved one and you wander in circles. It sounds like you are willing to give up the excess and that is a HUGE start! |
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Post by valor on Mar 27, 2009 18:06:57 GMT -5
Hi Zilla,
Welcome. Extending much sympathy on the loss of your girlfriend.
Selling some of your collections on "Craig-slist" would be a lot easier than
"the bay" since you wouldn't have to ship the items or pay a percentage.
Good on you for making progress in tidying things up. I can't figure out why I
delay in tidying up when I feel so much better after, either.
There is lots of support and humor here, folks in all stages. Welcome again!
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