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Post by suchamess on Apr 21, 2009 12:47:24 GMT -5
I often wonder why it is so dang hard to keep a house together? I am really struggling here. I'm making great progress, but at the same time, I have to maintain what has been previously accomplished. And it is never easy. Ever. It's so frustrating. I long to be one of those people that takes joy in cleaning their home, but I'm far from it. Completely clean makes me uncomfortable. I noticed this as I visited my Grandmother a few weeks ago. You see, she's a hoarder. Now, she doesn't let her house get out of control, but it isn't exactly 'clean' either. You usually have to clear a few clothes or bags off of a chair to sit down and there is always a wide wide path to get through the house. It's not piled to the ceiling either. It's just.....well, messy. Upon walking into her home, I felt so much at ease. It was pleasant?  But when I walk into a home that has every single thing in place, I am highly uncomfortable. Does anyone else feel like this? How does one break the cycle of this feeling? I do feel like this is the main reason my house is always in disarray. It's comforting.  |
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Post by ctrlz on Apr 21, 2009 14:10:22 GMT -5
I don't think it's the reason I am messy, but I can relate to what you're saying.
Being in a pristine Martha Stewart home feels uptight and more reserved. "Comfortably" messy homes feel more tolerant, and the owners seem more laid back.
I think the reason I personally have those associations is that my very uptight mother has a perfect house, and my laid-back dad has stacks of stuff everywhere.
I like it when my house is clean, though.
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Post by disarray on Apr 21, 2009 20:32:16 GMT -5
I can relate to what you're saying. I also find a little mess to be comforting. It just seems more lived in than a spotless house.
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Post by crazycatlady on Apr 21, 2009 21:51:06 GMT -5
I have found that the more stuff that leaves, the easier it is to keep the existing stuff decently clean. (I also have a housekeeper who comes monthly...she has helped immensely!)
The beauty of it all is that it IS your home. What kind of stuff do you find comforting? Is it really the clothes that you have to move off the couch, or would you prefer some pretty pillows and a throw?
Is it the pile in the corner, or would you prefer some plants, or "too many" candles?
I am very tolerant of small piles and such. It helped me to slowly ease into a cleanish house, because at first all those empty spaces looked odd, and I just filled them up. But as I cleared and kept one small area clear, I began to get used to it. And now I prefer it clear of stuff. And....I'm beginning to put out fun-for-me stuff, like a horse statue in the kitchen, or a jar that I have had for about 25 years on the counter in the bathroom. On a shelf, there is even a birds nest lined with white and black hair from our pony's tail, with some tiny blue eggshell pieces in it. (Of course that was always a part of the decor! But now, it is more visible, without so much stuff around it.)
Clean, get rid of stuff, but make it interesting. Make it fit you. Even in the "magazine" photo spreads, there is often a lot of decor added. Maybe your decor will look nothing like a magazine, but so long as it makes you happy, it will be all good.
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Post by Meme on Apr 21, 2009 22:12:45 GMT -5
I think we have to find what is comfort and homey for us-- I have certain areas that I do keep like Martha --  - and other areas I just mostly ignore- I like certain things considered housework and other things I hate---- if we feel comfortable in our home - then we should feel that comfort if some one comes over- and if some one makes us feel uncomfortable in our home then maybe we should declutter them-- when a lady criticized something in my home I gave her the dusting rag and told her to feel free to do the job as she would like it done - and she did and I then asked her as she was leaving not to come back..........I told her I felt that we had nothing in common-- I was nice but firm. |
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Posts: 3,815 
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Post by hopehope on Apr 22, 2009 1:46:28 GMT -5
Wow! Meme. Did you really?
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Post by marigold on Apr 22, 2009 4:33:49 GMT -5
Meme, I salute you for that!!! Both the "here's the dusting rag" part and the "don't come back" part.
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Post by gettingsomewhere on Apr 22, 2009 19:18:45 GMT -5
woohoo to you meme!!!
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Post by moggyfan on Apr 22, 2009 20:23:22 GMT -5
ccl, You took the words right outta my mouth! SO MUCH has now left my house that upkeep has become (almost :-) ) easy and second nature.
And, like you, I have found clutter and mess replaced gradually by a few simple decorative things that I really do love.
It's been a five-year process with a very steep initial learning curve, followed by a very gradual "make-over" in every room. I have learned that I love having some empty space!
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Post by Meme on Apr 22, 2009 22:43:34 GMT -5
yes--Meme did tell the lady what Meme said- and I meant every word of it too- I think I used nice words but firm-- besides she annoyed papa David to no end and he would leave the house if she came - - she was one of those ladiess who made her husband brush his teeth before he could kiss her and then could not understand what happened when she found him kissing someone else- sigh- - |
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Post by tinasabrina on Apr 23, 2009 3:50:15 GMT -5
Hi Suchamess,
I absolutely feel for you. It seems like it takes so much energy to maintain a house. And once you've let it get out of control then it makes you less apt to tackle it because you literally don't know where to start. I don't understand people who enjoy cleaning. But at the same time I envy them!
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Post by breakingfree on Apr 23, 2009 8:31:46 GMT -5
Hi Suchamess, I absolutely feel for you. It seems like it takes so much energy to maintain a house. And once you've let it get out of control then it makes you less apt to tackle it because you literally don't know where to start. I don't understand people who enjoy cleaning. But at the same time I envy them! True dat! I force myself to do it, but I absolutely hate it and if I could afford it I woud have someone do it for me! Especially this time of the year. I would much rather be outside planting and weeding and doing yard work and enjoying fresh air... |
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Post by messyjedi on Apr 23, 2009 10:06:25 GMT -5
I often wonder why it is so dang hard to keep a house together? I am really struggling here. I'm making great progress, but at the same time, I have to maintain what has been previously accomplished. And it is never easy. Ever. It's so frustrating. I long to be one of those people that takes joy in cleaning their home, but I'm far from it. I totally relate to this part. My mom was here a few days ago and I was venting about that. Ten people live in my house. That means 3 rather large meals a day. 3 of them are in diapers. I need to do 2 dishwasher loads of dishes a day and 3 loads of laundry. Just to keep up. And then there are the piles of stuff to be tackled in addition to that. There are just not enough hours in a day. |
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