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Post by theroyaldump on Jun 24, 2009 7:27:10 GMT -5
I am not all that religious but I am what I would call spiritual. I have always been told to pray to God for the things you want and need and He will provide. I joined this site 3 or 4 weeks ago with every intention to dig into this mess. I have received wonderful encouragement from the members here and while I am reading it I am motivated. Then I sign off the group and turn to the mess at hand an become immediately overwhelmed and do nothing. I find excues. "I'll start after I do this or that" and I have a LOT of this and that . Well, as I said I have been told to pray to God for His help and I did and asked him to help me motivate myself. Be careful what you wish (or pray) for . My A/C quit blowing cold air. Probably just needs a freon refill. But there is not a repairman in the world who would come in here and even so, how could he get to the window unit??? Even with that I sat and sweltered with sweat rolling by the gallons. I was getting slightly sick to my stomach and lightly dizzy. It was hard to think straight. I was pretty sure it was heat exhaustion. I went to the hardware store and bought an indoor/outdoor thermometer and placed it in the center of the living room. Ready ... 103 degrees. How could that be when it was only 93 outside? Thinking about this, it dawned on me that all this trash and junk was holding the heat. I was running 5 fans in one room and the temp didn't drop at all. Two nights ago, tryng to sleep in this oven and not getting a wink, I noticecd my beloved dog was panting and miserable. He depends on me and me alone to see to his needs and I was failing him. One or both of us could die. So I called a friend and talked him into lettimg us stay stay in his air conditioned carpentry shop at night to sleep. I explained the situation but in much less detail and was told to stay as long as I like. He thinks I can handle this in 3 or 4 days. I told him it may take me weeks due to the heat in there. I can't work that hard in this heat. (I am 57 and have med issues) He offered his help but I am too ashamed to let him come help me. He said he wouldn't think any less of me .... he just has no idea what he would be wallking into. Yesterday I bagged up 6 bags. I need to take them down to the dumpster and tackle some more. Maybe today I can do 10 bags. But looking at the 6 bags and then the junk/trash ... I realize it may take 100 or more bags to do the job. However will I get through this? ?
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Post by eagle on Jun 24, 2009 7:43:47 GMT -5
Great job getting 6 bags out! If that's the motivation you need, then one day you will probably thank your lucky stars (or God) for the 103 degree temp in your living room, or for your precious panting pooch, or for the broken AC window unit. Whatever it takes, it takes what it takes. And it sounds like this is what it takes for you right now. No shame, no blame, it's just what it is. Question: If it is a window unit, can you remove it yourself and take it somewhere else to be repaired? Or can you get a replacement and install it yourself? That is, once you clear a path to the window. I don't know your strength or technical skills, so maybe this isn't something you are comfortable with or not. But if you did that would you then stop cleaning? If so then go ahead and clean and get someone else to do the repairs when the room is cleared.
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Post by Script on Jun 24, 2009 8:02:44 GMT -5
However will I get through this?? *lots of water *rest in between trips to the dumpster *more water *move very slowly but keep moving *another bit of water? *focus on the end result: a better home for you and poochie *time for some water! *work early in the morning perhaps? *KEEP COMING HERE for moral support Luv from Script ps: once the place is a bit better, maybe you can let your carpenter friend help out? if you believe in Spiritual and/or Religious realities: you are giving HIM a chance to earn some celestial brownie points.
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Post by theroyaldump on Jun 24, 2009 10:09:31 GMT -5
Thank you guys so much for the support! I got here at 5:30am. I got out another 6 bags today and all of them in the dumpster. Tomorrow I will try for 10. I can't say that I would or would not quit if it got the air back on before I was finished. I know that now I see progress... it is just a big hole but it is a hole where junk was once residing. Hoooray. It is close to 100 in here now so gonna call it a day and off to buy an XLG iced tea from some drive through . Maybe 2! I will be back tomorrow between 5 am and 6 am so will shout out then. Again, thanks!
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falling
New Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 23
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Post by falling on Jun 24, 2009 10:58:25 GMT -5
However will I get through this?? *lots of water *rest in between trips to the dumpster *more water *move very slowly but keep moving *another bit of water? *focus on the end result: a better home for you and poochie *time for some water! *work early in the morning perhaps? *KEEP COMING HERE for moral support Luv from Script ps: once the place is a bit better, maybe you can let your carpenter friend help out? if you believe in Spiritual and/or Religious realities: you are giving HIM a chance to earn some celestial brownie points. I agree with everything script said. Maybe also keep some cooled water in a spray bottle handy and spritz your face now and then to cool down a bit. Do you have a camera? Maybe once you have got it down a little bit, take a picture, show it to your friend (I know that will be hard) and ask if he still wants to help after seeing the pic? Good luck and you *can* do it!! I got more and more ruthless with stuff as I went along, I found once I was tired I actually threw out more stuff because I couldn't be bothered to deal with finding places for it! I do look back at some of the stuff I've thrown out over the last few weeks and think, well maybe I should have kept this/that, but then the thought is gone because I know it's just stuff that would have been in the way still or sat in the outside cupboard/shed for more years. I still have a way to go but it's amazing how once you see some progress it spurs you on.
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Post by bluefrog on Jun 24, 2009 11:16:40 GMT -5
However will I get through this? ? The same way you'd eat an elephant: one bite at a time. Just keep going. . .and going. . .and going. . . You're doing great to get all those bags out! Take care of yourself in the heat, though. Love your screen name! We refer to our place as The Grand Imperial Dump de Garbage. Sometimes it deserves to be called that, but not as much as it used to. You can do this!
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scilla
New Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 23
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Post by scilla on Jun 24, 2009 11:31:42 GMT -5
theroyaldump, WELL DONE!! You have created some empty space, looking at it you start craving for more.
Good luck and stay strong, despite of the heat {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
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Post by messyang on Jun 24, 2009 13:15:48 GMT -5
Good job!!! A few months ago, my washing machine overflooded, and water went everywhere in my laundry room. Of course, my laundry room was a mess. Cat litter pans and poop everywhere. Clothes all over the floor. Papers, old detergent bottles, etc. All of them were wet and flooded. I was forced to open the back door, sweep the water out, and clean thoroughly, or the water would run out into my interior hall carpet. I worked feverishly for hours, but when I got through, I had a very clean laundry room. Sometimes things happen for a reason, I guess. Congrats on your work so far!!! You CAN do this!
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Post by houseworkhater on Jun 24, 2009 15:03:55 GMT -5
Your post made me so sad. There is nothing worse than HAVING to do this, in the brutal heat, but like you said...maybe it is just what you needed to make it happen. Maybe it is a sign. Still, I know how tough it is, and I wish you the strength and the courage you will need to make it happen.
Please keep us posted. I will be thinking of you...
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Post by grungygeorgie on Jun 24, 2009 16:04:02 GMT -5
I am really proud of you!I know it is hard,especially working by your self.Our animals provide us w/so much unconditional love,that I would do anything my pet.So good for you working to better both your lives!Grungygeorgie
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keriamon
New Member
Joined: June 2009
Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 24, 2009 19:48:09 GMT -5
Can you afford to get a new window unit? Some of the smaller ones are $100-$200. They will cool one room good. You could put one in the room where you are working and cool it off enough to be able to tolerate working in there. Or put it in your bedroom so you can go back to sleeping there, at least.
Have you also thought about hiring a dumpster? People hire them all the time for home remodels and stuff. That will save you from having to take time to haul trash; you can just toss everything into it quick as you please. No need to even bag it.
I can totally understand about it being hotter inside than out. We have a trailer and it has no insulation and a metal roof and walls--it heats up like a tin can in an oven. If our A/C was out, we'd be in the exact same boat. Alas, I think there's mold in our ductwork or in the A/C unit itself, because my allergies have been going crazy since it kicked on. I just can't bring myself to turn it off! It's miserable either way.
Put ice cubes in the dog's water dish throughout the day; cold water will help cool him down. My mother has a very furry dog, and she is nuts for some cold water in the summer!
And maybe God sent your friend to be of assistance. Remember, humility is a virtue, and what's more humbling than having to ask for help? Pride cometh before a fall.
Very best of luck to you!
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Post by skatters on Jun 24, 2009 23:23:20 GMT -5
I am sorry that you have to deal with all this. But, I think you have a wonderful attitude.
Lots of ex-squalorers have faced similar situations. Some sort of life altering/life threatening situation. But once they worked their way out of the situation, they were able to keep their places neater. Maybe this is your life changing event.
And your life is going to change for the better. Your house will never be this bad again.
Six bags is great! Please keep us updated!
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jun 25, 2009 0:43:50 GMT -5
I can sure understand feeling too ashamed to allow your friend to help, but your dog needs you.
Maybe you could figure out how to delegate it differently? For example, you put stuff in bags/boxes, then he carries them out? Even better, ask him what would make him the most comfortable: sorting, boxing, cleaning, etc. My DH is squeamish about wet messes, and bad at sorting, so I sort, box, and label, while he takes the items to their new home.
I'm sure you're visualizing your friend being shocked at the mess. While that's possible, he may feel grateful to be able to help. Honor him by accepting his offer, taking him at his word.
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Post by seekingpeace on Jun 25, 2009 7:22:38 GMT -5
wow, if I'm reading right, you've done 12 bags out in that heat! 12 bags!! that's no easy feat! Good for you! Cheering you on!! .....and recommending a nice supply of popsicles in the freezer! ! You can do this! Keep posting the number of bags, you're doing great!
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Post by theroyaldump on Jun 25, 2009 9:34:23 GMT -5
Only 6 more bags today and I am fighting the urge to call it a day. The "hole" is bigger but not nearly where I need it to be.
I talked to my carpenter friend who is actually a long time boyfried. We have known each other many years and go out about once a month. After his offer of help I "glossed over" the situation and he gleaned a little more than I thought from our conversation. Grant you that he had a bad day at work. but long story short, he yelled at me for letting things get this way and for being ***. I tried to explain what hoarding is but he doesn't believe in mental illness or mental disorders. His world is black and white with no gray areas. I think if I could get him to understamd that I have to FIGHT this problem he might be a wee bit more understanding. He is basically a kind and caring man. He just doesn't understand. And frankly, neither do I. I don't understand why I do this either so I am at a loss to explain it. So he thinks I am simply being ***.
Yesterday was not a good day for me after having been belittled. I know I am not worhtless but in my persoanl life I do feel very ashamed yet helpless to fix it. There is not one single room in this condo that is not filled. Thank God it is a studio so I have only filled 600 sq feet. I would hire some one to come and help but I am fearful that someone will "turn me in" and I will be exposed on the news or my land lady will find out and I will be evicted. Anyway I am also unemployed so the funds are not there.
Going to do 4 more bags and at least go get something cold to drink. So todays total will be at least 10 bags.
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