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Post by Meme on Jul 8, 2009 0:51:24 GMT -5
Today I was thinking about how and when and where squalor starts- if I start with an empty room and suddenly have squalor it had to start some time-
and it starts with just little things that do not make it to their home-- garbage not in garbage- laundry not in hamper- clean clothes not put away- dirty dishes do not make to the sink and on and on until I have made a mountain out of a mole hill-
so it stands to reason if I can start going backwards and undoing what I have done- the mountain will be torn down-
I know it sounds strange to think that I created my chaos and even by allowing others to add to it- partly because it was not my plan to begin with- but
no one gets up one morning and thinks or decides to have squalor but because I decided not to get to the garbage or the laundry or the kitchen sink at that moment I began to build my squalor- it was not plan I had but a result of doing things backwards-
which means that I can un do it- I just have to start a new moment to change the results - so now my garbage goes into the garbage- the laundry goes into the hamper and the clean clothes into the closet and dirty dishes into the sink in the moment and every moment- and suddenly the squalor becomes a home.
When I think of it- how much harder is it to put the dirty cup in the sink rather than place on something or to put the dirty clothes in the hamper rather than the floor-? the hardest part for me to accept is that I worked at making my squalor while I was thinking the squalor was a result of doing nothing-and I allowed others to follow my patterns.
--
I know this is twisted writing but sometimes I just have to spit out my thoughts.......
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jul 8, 2009 1:57:50 GMT -5
You are so right, Meme! I find myself saying just put the cup in the sink. Leaving it on the table is not helping the situation.
Thanks for the reminder.
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 8, 2009 3:54:36 GMT -5
That's a good way of looking at it. Squalor doesn't just happen, but is created by our actions. The most important part of that means that we can actually CONTROL it, cause we can control what we do. That is a very good way to look at it!
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Post by paperpiler on Jul 8, 2009 5:57:11 GMT -5
Meme, keen observation. We did indeed work at making our squalor (and that's not a putdown at all of any of us...just an "it is what it is"). Making squalor IS work; it's just negative work.
Since I got the rest of the place cleaned up, I'm talking to myself more. I live alone, so my accountability is only to myself. That makes it hard in a different way. I don't hear people yelling at me (or contributing to the mess!) as I had when I was married, or when my kids were growing up. In many ways, that's a true blessing. But in another, there's no one to say to me, "you need to do this," except me.
I can't tell you the number of times in a day now that I do something like get a spoon out of a drawer, stir my coffee and literally say OUT LOUD, "Wash the spoon. Now put it away. Don't just leave it on the counter, all proud of yourself that it's not in the sink. Ok, put the instant coffee back on the shelf. Do it now. It all takes thirty seconds."
I also look around me, at other things, trying to be vigilant wherever I am at the moment, noticing what I never noticed before. If I see the hand towel on the counter, I hang it back on the stove front. If I see that my pretty plant is drying out, I water it now, not when it's dead and I'm trying to bring it back to life.
I'm convinced that it was all these 30 second things that added up and added up and added up to my light-years of pile-ups. What I'm doing now is trying to SAVE time in my future, and keep it from it ever happening again.
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Post by puppybox on Jul 8, 2009 14:40:46 GMT -5
so true. how come i've learned this lesson about parts of my place but not the kitchen?
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Post by flylady on Jul 10, 2009 6:37:58 GMT -5
I know just what you mean! You have already come so far, just to put the clothes away, that's my biggest problem. I have also started making sure all the plates, cups, e.t.c have to be put in the sink after everyone has eaten. Keep up the good work  You should be proud of what you have achieved so far. |
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Post by bluefrog on Jul 10, 2009 9:26:01 GMT -5
Absolutely, Meme! Our grandmothers were right: "a place for everything, and everything in its place" keeps the squalor from starting. It's not by doing nothing, but by doing something and not cleaning up after that makes the mess begin. And I've found that stuff out of place invites other stuff to come and join it: if I leave a plate on the coffee table, DH will leave a glass and a napkin, then somehow a book or a crochet hook and a ball of yarn will join them, and pretty soon there's a pile of junk to clean up---and that's WORK! All because I left a plate on the table instead of putting it in the dishwasher. It has been a hard lesson, but I think I've got it now.
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Post by threeg on Jul 10, 2009 20:06:07 GMT -5
So true Meme, so true. I find that doing things the BDG way helps me to put each little thing in it's place before it gets to be a huge problem. BDG's method was simply genious, and ingeniously simple!
My sister Purple always uses the old Nike saying...Just do it! In my case, do it before you get distracted or forget. It works. 3g
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Post by scribbles on Jul 11, 2009 9:06:11 GMT -5
I can't tell you the number of times in a day now that I do something like get a spoon out of a drawer, stir my coffee and literally say OUT LOUD, "Wash the spoon. Now put it away. Don't just leave it on the counter, all proud of yourself that it's not in the sink. Ok, put the instant coffee back on the shelf. Do it now. It all takes thirty seconds." This is soooo me! I'm constantly reminding myself, "Take it out to the kitchen *now*." "Put it in the dishwasher *now*." "Make your bed *now* while the kettle boils, or it won't get done today." Just a running reminder thread that things need to get DONE. And since I live alone, there' ain't nobody who will do them, except me. And BlueFrog posted: There's actually a theory, called the Broken Windows theory, that tries to explain this phenomena. The theory goes, if a window in an abandoned building is broken, shortly vandals will break more windows. But if the broken window is fixed fairly soon, no more windows are broken. Because that one broken window gives people the idea to break more. Just as one thing not put away leads us to think, "Oh, I can live with a coffee cup here, so I just put this book/bag/plate/toy there as well." It's a small thing to start, but it grows. |
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Post by serenitynow on Jul 12, 2009 6:41:57 GMT -5
Today I was thinking about how and when and where squalor starts- if I start with an empty room and suddenly have squalor it had to start some time- and it starts with just little things that do not make it to their home-- garbage not in garbage- laundry not in hamper- clean clothes not put away- dirty dishes do not make to the sink and on and on until I have made a mountain out of a mole hill- so it stands to reason if I can start going backwards and undoing what I have done- the mountain will be torn down- I know it sounds strange to think that I created my chaos and even by allowing others to add to it- partly because it was not my plan to begin with- but no one gets up one morning and thinks or decides to have squalor but because I decided not to get to the garbage or the laundry or the kitchen sink at that moment I began to build my squalor- it was not plan I had but a result of doing things backwards- which means that I can un do it- I just have to start a new moment to change the results - so now my garbage goes into the garbage- the laundry goes into the hamper and the clean clothes into the closet and dirty dishes into the sink in the moment and every moment- and suddenly the squalor becomes a home. When I think of it- how much harder is it to put the dirty cup in the sink rather than place on something or to put the dirty clothes in the hamper rather than the floor-? the hardest part for me to accept is that I worked at making my squalor while I was thinking the squalor was a result of doing nothing-and I allowed others to follow my patterns. -- I know this is twisted writing but sometimes I just have to spit out my thoughts....... Keep spitting! |
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