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Post by Rennie Ellen on Jul 8, 2009 22:51:42 GMT -5
I talked to my dear online friend on Facebook today. I've known her for over 10 years from America Online. She's known me since before I was diagnosed with cancer and she was a support to me from afar (she lived in Boston, MA. then). In 2005, she and her kids moved to Kansas City, KS. I drove there to meet her in person for Thanksgiving, and we had a delightful visit (in spite of a bout of food poisoning, which WAS NOT her fault). Last year she moved just across the border into Missouri.
She, being a good friend, knows about my health "challenges" and that it might be hard for me to drive to where she is. She asked in IM today, "When can I come see you? Is this Saturday OK?" The plan would be to come early Saturday, spend the night, come to church with me on Sunday and leave early Sunday evening.
I just about lost it. "NOOOOO!!!" I typed back. "My house is a mess. Seriously."
"How about next Saturday, or the one after that?"
Before I could respond, she had to go pick up her son, but promised to email me and work out the details later.
There's NO way I can get my home ready for company by the 11th. Or the 18th. But what about the 25th?
I'd sure like to try. I miss my friend. I want to see her again. She is one of the most caring, non-judgmental friends ever. If my home was beyond stage 4, she wouldn't care. But I want my home to be a place of welcome and fun and fellowship.
And I don't want to do a crisis cleaning, or a stash and dash, or just hide the clutter until after the visit is over. I want my home to be so put together that when my friend leaves, it won't be a major deal!
So if I can stop feeling panicky, I think I can finish getting my home organized. After talking to my friend, I went to work on the kitchen and now I'm almost finished with it! The thought of seeing her again, what I'm going to cook for her, what activities we'll do, going to church together....before I knew it, the kitchen was almost done! I'm tired, but it's a good tired. Maybe my friend's visit is what I need to give me a jump start. If I can't get it done by the 25th, I can tell her what's going on and she'll put the trip off until I can get my home ready for company. That's the kind of friend she is.
But the big hurdle will be...."THE BEDROOM OF DOOM"! My friend will have to sleep in my bedroom while I sleep on my comfortable loveseat in the living room. Getting that bedroom ready will take up most of the time, I think. The living room and bathroom will not be as hard to tackle as my bedroom.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jul 8, 2009 23:03:04 GMT -5
How wonderful to have such a good friend. You can do this!
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Jul 9, 2009 7:44:14 GMT -5
You know, I woke up this morning and I'm not panicked. I'm extremely calm. I have several things I want to do today to get my home ready and I'm ready to carry them out and rest in between.
The thought of my friend wanting to visit still fills me with joy....my home WILL be ready.
But first, coffee and cinnamon toast! 
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Post by paperpiler on Jul 9, 2009 8:35:49 GMT -5
Rennie, you have such an outstanding attitude that I KNOW you will get it done!
Go enjoy your breakfast, and then think of what type of things would make you feel a sense of accomplishment. Those are the things to get done first, to keep you moving forward to do other things.
You CAN do this, and you will wind up having a wonderful visit with your friend! Best of luck!
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Post by rubyred on Jul 9, 2009 9:18:21 GMT -5
I think it's so nice that you have such a happy motivator to clean, rather than a crisis cleaning. You can do it!!
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Post by AnnieOkie on Jul 9, 2009 10:58:23 GMT -5
...I want my home to be a place of welcome and fun and fellowship.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....
I know you can, I know you can, I know you can....  I can't wait to hear about your visit!! Slow and steady, take breaks for food and water. |
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Post by messymimi on Jul 9, 2009 14:24:28 GMT -5
We all know you can.
And remember, she is your friend, she knows what you have been through and your limitations.
messymimi
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catk102
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 11 
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Post by catk102 on Jul 9, 2009 14:45:38 GMT -5
Rennie howis Angel?Hope she is well and her fur gew back. Listen I am going to say this and I want you to understand that I say rhis with kindness even tho written out it might come across harsh,ok here it goes: Why on earth are you freaking out?? Yes I understand health issues but for example the last time you had an inspection you freaked out and admittedly overdid yourself a bit BUT you came thru.I really think that you have hidden stores of energy that you are not even aware of,so get digging and USE THEM.I truly believe if you could just take a quarter of that energy (I know its there cause look you made it thru last inspection) everyday and apply it to whatever you want to fix you could fix the bedroom of doom and do maintenance.It's there we all know it xept you.Please dont think I am trying to be mean but it seems to me for some reason you won't let youself get past/into this. What is it that you are afraid of? Remember I don't mean to sound mean just want to "strongly" point out Kat |
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Post by gottaproblem on Jul 9, 2009 15:26:50 GMT -5
I think it's so nice that you have such a happy motivator to clean, rather than a crisis cleaning. You can do it!! I agree, it is so nice that you are being motivated by something that will bring you joy. |
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Jul 9, 2009 22:02:41 GMT -5
Catk102,Rennie how is Angel?Hope she is well and her fur grew back. Listen I am going to say this and I want you to understand that I say this with kindness even tho written out it might come across harsh,OK here it goes: Why on earth are you freaking out?? Yes I understand health issues but for example the last time you had an inspection you freaked out and admittedly overdid yourself a bit BUT you came thru.I really think that you have hidden stores of energy that you are not even aware of,so get digging and USE THEM.I truly believe if you could just take a quarter of that energy (I know its there cause look you made it thru last inspection) everyday and apply it to whatever you want to fix you could fix the bedroom of doom and do maintenance.It's there we all know it xept you.Please don't think I am trying to be mean but it seems to me for some reason you won't let yourself get past/into this. What is it that you are afraid of? Remember I don't mean to sound mean just want to"strongly" point out
Second....I admit I did panic at first when my friend suggested coming to visit. But now I'm pretty excited about her coming. I haven't had anyone come visit me from out of town since my sister came the Christmas of 1998, just when I found out I had cancer.
I don't have any hidden stores of energy. If I did, they're probably so well hidden, I don't have a clue where they are! 
Seriously, I do have chronic fatigue issues. My energy level fluctuates from day to day. I might have a medium level one day and the next, it's in the cellar. This is something I have no control over. I also have cardiomyopathy, which plays a major role in my fatigue levels. I can do all the right things - eat right, rest, exercise, and my energy level sometimes just won't cooperate. This is something that's very frustrating to me, but it's now a part of my "new" normal and what I have to live with.
As to "what I'm afraid of", I don't think I'm really afraid of anything. I don't want my friend to see my home right now in its present state, but if she did, she would still love and accept me and even offer to help me clean. I feel that the issues I'm dealing with at present that "won't let me get past this" are physical only.
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 10, 2009 1:03:16 GMT -5
I have very low energy from severe anemia and depression .One thing that really helped me was to go into chat one day and work in five minute bursts. That was all that I could work at a time on that day. Then I would take a five minute break and then do more. I actually got the entire house finished that day! I need to do it again though, already backsliding.
But maybe that technique could help you out too. You can always take longer breaks in between your five minutes if you need to .
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Jul 10, 2009 20:16:51 GMT -5
My friend and I talked in IM on Facebook this afternoon. I explained my situation to her and she not only understood, she said to take my time, for her schedule is pretty flexible now. I set the date of her visit for August 15th!
She'll come on Saturday, stay the night with me, go to church with me on Sunday (the church van picks me up), and leave either early Sunday evening or early Monday morning.
That gives me about 5 weeks to once and for all get my home organized and STAY that way! I also left a message for my cardiology nurse to call me about getting some home health care.
Today I had to help at the ministry office getting the bi-monthly newsletter ready to mail, so tomorrow is DAY ONE of the Battle To Reclaim Maintenance Mountain! I think I'll do one of those blogs for this....so if you're going through a similar stuggle with maintenance, you can read my daily musings.
I'M READY!!!!! 
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Post by flylady on Jul 11, 2009 3:36:23 GMT -5
5 weeks is great! You can tackle a bit every day and get it done. Sounds like you have a great friend |
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Post by paperpiler on Jul 13, 2009 8:21:02 GMT -5
How's it going, Rennie? I'll be checking your blog. You sound very determined, and that's always such a motivator. Just don't do too much at once and burn out, and I know you'll do GREAT!
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Jul 13, 2009 11:04:41 GMT -5
You guys are making me cry!!!!
Whenever I feel discouraged, you say positive words that give me hope and courage. Thanks.
 
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