MiSC
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611 
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Post by MiSC on Jul 9, 2009 17:00:09 GMT -5
That's what my 7yo son, who has been clinically diagnosed as having OCHD, was crying a few days ago when he was desperately holding on to a blanket I was trying to put in the donate box.
It just crushed me. The poor little guy. He's so troubled with the house in the condition it's in, and he's so devastated when we try to clear things out.
I see him and the fears and concerns in that little body, and I think, "Does that apply to me? Am I as wrapped up in my THINGS as this poor angel is?"
I don't post much, but I wanted to share that moment. I thought it might be important to someone here.
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Post by shosha on Jul 9, 2009 17:12:58 GMT -5
Oh, the poor lamb! My daughter is a hoarder (far more so than me, though probably no worse than I was at her age) and she's just starting to be able to let some things go (she's 9 now) so hopefully you will be able to help your son out of the trap he must feel he's in.
Does he also have a problem with acquiring new things? If so, maybe for now you could concentrate on trying not to bring things home?
Also, maybe you could try the tactic of packing things away and if he's ok without them for, say, 6 months maybe he will feel more able to let them go permanently (but he has the security of knowing that if he really NEEDS to have that blanket back, it's only in a box somewhere).
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jul 9, 2009 17:57:49 GMT -5
 to you both! Poor little guy. My sister is having great difficulties with my niece, who is 40, and her hoarding issues. I hope that your dear boy being diagnosed so early can move forward and find some peace with his issues.
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Post by Meme on Jul 9, 2009 18:04:28 GMT -5
hugs-- I think that sometimes we do get so wrapped into our things as a way to hide some of our real feelings- and or to even hold on to some of the feelings that the thing gave us originally-
we can be safe with our things- around us. sort of like a security-- I remember that our grand daughter was given a security blanket when she was born and yes, we still have that blanket that is worn and torn.
I finally did learn that things cannot keep me secure but it took nearly 60 years.
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Post by messymimi on Jul 9, 2009 18:26:44 GMT -5
This may be totally ridiculous, so if it is, just ignore it. Sometimes my warped brain comes up with some weird stuff.
Would it help him if you taught him a relaxation/visualization technique, and have him visualize the item being loved by someone else? Or visualize the item having fun, going on an adventure to a new place?
This may be the craziest thing ever, but it might be worth a try.
to you and him.
messymimi
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jul 9, 2009 20:05:07 GMT -5
...Or visualize the item having fun, going on an adventure to a new place? hmmmmm... I'm wondering about that. It may be a possibility. I'll talk to my husband about it and see what he thinks. He's a very "plugged in" dad. (I betcha he changed as many diapers as I did.) He knows his boys well. Let me run that past him. |
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Post by serenitynow on Jul 9, 2009 20:30:19 GMT -5
This may be totally ridiculous, so if it is, just ignore it. Sometimes my warped brain comes up with some weird stuff.
Would it help him if you taught him a relaxation/visualization technique, and have him visualize the item being loved by someone else? Or visualize the item having fun, going on an adventure to a new place?
This may be the craziest thing ever, but it might be worth a try.
to you and him.
messymimi Hey! That just might work on this 54 yr. old girl.. P.S. That dear son of yours is lucky to have 2 such caring parents who aren't ridiculing him about it. |
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Post by moggyfan on Jul 9, 2009 20:36:07 GMT -5
Messymimi--That's not a crazy idea! It sounds great!
Another idea: Could he be persuaded to make a scrapbook with small stories about his favorite possessions, maybe incorporating a picture and/or a little snippet of the actual object?
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MiSC
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jul 9, 2009 20:48:28 GMT -5
Another idea: Could he be persuaded to make a scrapbook with small stories about his favorite possessions, maybe incorporating a picture and/or a little snippet of the actual object? Another strong possibility. He has a funny habit of wanting me to take pictures of things he likes already. Like, if he's eating popcorn and a particular piece looks particularly fun or interesting, he'll come to me and say, "Take a picture of my popcorn."  So I do, and he never looks at the picture again, and he eats the popcorn. So yeah, this is a definite possibility. Another one to talk to my husband about. |
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Blackswan
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Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 10, 2009 1:05:25 GMT -5
Poor baby! It might be worth a shot to try some sort of cognitive therapy with just a focus on his relationships with the items, and how to learn techniques to let him go. Maybe two or three sessions with a therapist, very short term, just to learn those new ways of dealing with the hoarding tendencies, both with your son individually, and as a family.
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Post by DJ on Jul 10, 2009 1:47:44 GMT -5
hey misc, you have some sweet and amazing and creative boys.. if you can implement the suggestions they've made and it works you've got boys pretty much turning out pictorial novels before age 10..  photos+stories... you probably could bind the stories and photos and have one heck of a childhood memento.. they really are creative and blow my mind sometimes. |
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Post by limegreen on Jul 10, 2009 19:38:42 GMT -5
I have no solutions, but wanted to say that I know how he feels, and hugely admire him for putting it into words. You have one very smart kid there, Misc.
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