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Post by Meme on Jul 10, 2009 21:58:11 GMT -5
I came here a few years and then had to take almost 2 years off with papa's cancer and then his death / my grief.
But lately I have started to be getting real with myself and knowing that for a long time I played the game of woe, is me because I fell into squalor all by myself. sigh
But now I am exloring some of the reason - not to use them as a way to remain in the life of squalor but to get myself beyond squalor-- I said all the right things and yet, some how I knew I was not being honest with me. I was as honest at that time as I could be because it was all I knew but now I realize that I need to move the squalor mind thoughts which are holding me back.
I will share a lot this here and some of it will be rather brutal and so I do want to qualify when I speak - I speak for me and I not pointing fingers toward anyone. I could skip sharing but I do think if we/I are will to open up our hearts and have open dialogue we/ I can help others beyond just me.
If sometimes I use the words we or you please remember I do really mean me but sometimes it is habit to write as plural etc.
I am changing my ticker also so it will be a new ticker to allow me a time line to go where I need to go...
I love you - guys and smile even though your heart is in squalor because the moments of clarity and truth will come and we will be squalor free--
my grief remains but I feel it now so I have moved from the numb world that I was in for the last year. I think that as I work through my grief and my squalor that is hidden in heart - I will come out restored and renewed-
God bless everyone-
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Post by yearning4order on Jul 10, 2009 22:45:32 GMT -5
Meme, a big hug to you. My mother is a widow--my father died of liver cancer when he was in his mid50s.
We're only as honest as we can be at the time, and sometimes over time we develop an ability to be more honest.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jul 11, 2009 1:26:18 GMT -5
 Meme. You do what you need to do for YOU. We are all here for you. I look forward to seeing you blossom and grow.
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Post by threeg on Jul 11, 2009 12:33:59 GMT -5
Getting real is important. It is sometimes hard to be "real" on a forum, but SooS is one where we can share without feeling like we will be judged or disliked. I admire you in so many ways Meme, but your honesty and wisdom are your most refreshing and best qualities. 3g |
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Post by grungygeorgie on Jul 11, 2009 18:53:44 GMT -5
Meems,you are the best,you always give such sensible/comforting
advice.I look forward to reading your future posts.
I am reading a very good book right now, "Epilogue,a memoir"
by Ann Roiphe.Do not know if it is available in Candada.It is
the story of grieving & widowhood.Not super duper depressing
but thoughtful.Just thought I would put that out to you.Georgie
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Jul 11, 2009 21:22:59 GMT -5
Meme, I know your life has been so difficult, I just want to salute you and your courage! Keep going, dear one.
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