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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 17, 2009 22:26:02 GMT -5
A few days ago, I found out that I'll be having company on Monday night. My apartment was messy. Not terribly messy as in the old days. Messy as in not too bad, but I'd rather no one else saw it until I cleaned it. When I found out I'd be having company, I originally planned to wait until Sunday night to clean up.
Well, tonight I had a real breakthrough. I decided that instead of waiting until the last minute and stashing and dashing for company, I'd stash and dash tonight. For me.
So I put on one of my cleaning CDs and started stashing and dashing. It took me about 45 minutes. Now my apartment is company-ready. I feel happy because I acted instead of reacted.
The kitchen cupboards are not perfectly organized. The cabinet under the bathroom sink is a little on the full side. I have a stray towel draped over the clothes rack in my closet. But on the surface, my apartment looks great. I even have a vase of wildflowers on the kitchen counter. And now, I don't have to do a big stash and dash on Sunday night. I can enjoy and maintain over the weekend. I'm actually looking forward to going home tonight, because there's no guilt trip waiting for me there.
I've never stashed and dashed for myself before. I think the reason is that I'm a perfectionist. Maybe on some level I think I'm not worthy of enjoying a nice-looking living space unless I know it is perfectly clean and organized, both on the surface and in all the closets and cupboards. I guess I think that having a nice-looking living space is a reward for the hard work of cleaning, and I don't deserve it unless I have worked really hard to earn it!
But after tonight, maybe I'll tidy up for myself more often.
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Post by theroyaldump on Jul 18, 2009 8:07:19 GMT -5
Standing up and applauding you ... what a great idea and now you have no weights on your shoulders to carry around for the rest of the weekend. Good job!!!!
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Post by charis on Jul 18, 2009 8:10:28 GMT -5
Enjoy your weekend and your vase of flowers--that is symbolic of the whole experience, isn't it? We love flowers, but often only get them in for company. So you didn't just clean because you feel you should, you cleaned because you wanted to enjoy the results  |
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Post by Bizzy on Jul 19, 2009 5:44:37 GMT -5
I love what you did and I will remember the stash and dash. I seem to wait til the last minute and it makes me nuts. I feel guilty about whatever I am doing - up till that last minute- usually I am doing what ever seems important to me at the time but could probably wait... but I do it anyway- almost challenging myself to make the deadline. This is nuts and I don't know why I do it. Yet. But I am new to this stuff... The other thing that keeps striking a chord in me- is talking about perfectionism. I am such a half assed slob- I certainly never thought about myself as a perfectionist, but I am discovering more and more that I have thought= if I cannot do it perfectly- it isn't worth doing at all. So good for you for your stash and dash. My mom used to call this giving it a " lick and a promise" I am glad you had the rest of your time to relax without guilt or pressure and that you didn't feel like you had to get it all perfect. Good for you and thank you for reminding me of these things I am slowly learning.  |
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Post by Script on Jul 19, 2009 6:23:35 GMT -5
I've never stashed and dashed for myself before. ......
But after tonight, maybe I'll tidy up for myself more often. this is a fantastic breakthrough for you  congratulations and HURRAH! ps: years ago, my DH ruefully observed: "we only ever clean when we are having company". I am grateful that we have moved beyond that limiting mindset |
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Post by Little_Ninja on Jul 19, 2009 9:56:04 GMT -5
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 19, 2009 17:49:43 GMT -5
Awesome polar bear! I am so proud of you!
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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 20, 2009 21:25:37 GMT -5
Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement! You made my day!!!
Well, it is now Monday night, and I survived the visit! My guests loved the way my apartment looks and the way I have decorated it. They commented on how nice the wildflowers looked, too.
They even opened the kitchen cabinets (sounds kind of nosy, but they were just innocently looking around. And these were my parents and three other relatives so it wasn't all that nosy). If I had never had squalor, I don't think I would take it personally if someone looked in my kitchen cupboard and thought it was messy. Since I do struggle with squalor, I did feel a little panicky that they might judge me for having semi-messy cupboards, but I just looked the other way and tried not to panic. And I didn't.
It was a good visit. Now I'm going to try to keep my apartment looking nice. I don't ever again want to feel afraid to let people in.
I think that it will take time to get over feeling panicky every time I hear a knock at the door, but I'll just keep working on it.
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Post by puppybox on Jul 21, 2009 14:40:27 GMT -5
That is so fantastic! congratulations!!! I'm so glad it went well. and its easier to start with the hidden clutter organizing if the visible surfaces are clean, too.
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Post by Polar Bear on Jul 21, 2009 20:03:51 GMT -5
Thanks, puppybox!
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