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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Nov 6, 2009 12:19:44 GMT -5
- WARNING !!!This is a long post. About a sensitive matter. Please read the whole post before jumping in to reply. It's a difficult topic for me. I don't like bedsheets. Period. Lots of people post that .... a comfortably-made bed with clean sheets will make you feel good. Well, I don't enjoy that! Maybe it's nice for most people. But it's not for me. I don't want sheets. Period. I've TRIED different lengths, styles, fabrics.Please don't suggest other types of sheets. [/blockquote]I don't want sheets. I like a simple bed. I prefer to sleep on the bare mattress with a quilt, (or an unzipped cotton sleeping bag) over me loosely.No blankets. No sheets. No pad.
I enjoy this! It makes me happy and I sleep well!
I don't have allergies to dust mites.
I'm happy as is. Other people are SHOCKED by this. They see it as squalor. Well, I chose this method even when I lived in a clean home. I prefer it.It's not about squalor/unsqualor for me. It's about comfort. If it's not about squalor, why am I posting on this main "general" forum? Because ... this is about making my home beautiful. This is about turning my sleeping area into a beautiful, inviting sanctuary. This is changing my bedroom from a "place to crash" into part of my HOME.
And ... I don't want guests assuming that my sleeping style is squalorous. Why am I writing to you? Because I need bedding ... to um ... have ... um ... in case I ever have a romantic guest someday.
(Nobody on horizon. Just thinking ahead. I'm thinking maybe a year from now, I might begin looking. Just want to plan now.)
Please don't tease me about hypothetical someday guest in bed. Or begin discussing my hypothetical future. It was hard enough to post! Also, I might want to have non-romantic visitors (family/friends) in my home "someday when I desqualor". They would probably see my bedroom and I'd like it to appear reasonable to them What do I want? I want suggestions for alternative bedding that might be socially acceptable, but still comfortable for me. I realize that other people have allergies to dustmites, so they might not want to sleep on bare mattress. All kinds of crazy suggestions welcome. But NOT sheets. Thanks! Editing to add ... I'm oblivious to sweat, dampness, drool, etc. I don't have sensitivity to laying on it. I wouldn't notice the accumulation of assorted bodily fluids over the course of the lifetime of a mattress. But it has just been pointed out that this would be squalor.
I guess I just didn't want to look at that.
I was born with almost zero sense of smell. ("anosmia")
www.anosmiafoundation.com www.golgotha.org.uk/useful/anosmia.html personal.ecu.edu/wuenschk/Anosmia-Discussion.htm
I cannot detect the odor of skunks!
I cannot detect the odor of sweat, body odor, farts, rotten food, full litterbox etc.
NOT a good thing. (Please don't joke about it).
This contributes to my squalor issues, in that I don't realize something needs cleaning or discarding because I don't detect the odor.
I would never know if a mattress smelled bad.
This hadn't even occurred to me until someone just pointed it out. So ... thanks for this thread. And the comments below. I see now that I really NEED to do something about this!
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Post by slothzilla on Nov 6, 2009 12:31:53 GMT -5
Those memory foam mattress pads are pretty darn comfortable. You can't sleep under them, but you can sleep on top of them.
You said you don't like blankets, but that's the only thing I can think of, other than a huge tablecloth or something. I just bought some new micro-plush fleece blankets, and those are really nice (and inexpensive too). I don't use them on the bed much, they're more for covering my couch to keep the dog hair off of it, but they're nice and comfy.
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Post by mlb1985 on Nov 6, 2009 12:36:08 GMT -5
Hi there! I can say if I had a decent mattress I would be right there with you But I sleep on the couch due to the fact my bed is broken (on my side, not dh's) Anyway, so you are looking for an alternative to sheets in case you have guests. Well we have flanel sheets (very soft but way too hot to sleep on) So we don't use them I'm not really much help but know your not alone! Hugs to you lioness!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2009 12:36:38 GMT -5
You can sleep however you want my dear...it's your bed, and you can lay in it however you prefer!
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Post by Chris on Nov 6, 2009 12:39:35 GMT -5
A very dear loved one of mine hates sheets as well. Would not sleep in/under them from a very young age---- and still to this day doesn't. He's married now and he and his wife sleep on the bed on top of the comforter and each have what works for them in terms of a -- separate -- cover up blanket/comforter. He was very sensitive about this as a young person and his Mom never forced the issue. This person has the one thing in common with what you are describing = hating sheets. But he always liked to sleep on top of a comforter as long as the texture was right. So his bed can always "look" like beds look like in catalogs and no one has to know except his wife! I am thinking that texture, body heat, and the weight and feel of bed sheets/blankets has a lot of do with it - but not everything. But I don't really know. I'm one who is extremely picky about sheets in terms of the weight and feel and I can't stand anything too heavy on me. I think the main issue here is that you are ok just as you are -- perfectly ok and normal and not to let anyone put you down for a choice that is totally private and non harming to anyone -- I would hope you would not have to try and change yourself for anyone else = ever. I think people even married couples should either compromise and find something that works for both -- or agree to disagree and sleep on/in different beds. You ought to see our bed. My husband can't stand the foam thingy that I need just to be able to avoid the hip/back pain -- so my side had one of those egg crate things folded in half -- our bed looks funny. But who cares. It's how we need it. But geez -- you were asking for alternative suggestions (NOT sheets). I guess the only suggestion I would have would be don't give up on finding a bedspread/comforter that has the kind of texture and feel to it that would be comfortable. There's probably one out there. Unless you just get something to cover the bed and then fold it out of the way when it's time to sleep. Not sure I'm making any sense. But I am sympathetic to the issue. Does that count? I hope you get some good ideas!
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Post by zen on Nov 6, 2009 12:46:29 GMT -5
Perhaps one of those simple mattress covers would work, I am contemplating getting one of those for our bed because the fitted sheet always comes off the corners and drives DH batty. Ahh but I see that you don't want to sleep on a pad. I have this microfleece blanket that I bough from Target and I swear it is probably my favorite thing in the house other than my family members and pets If the house was on fire i would grab my loved ones, the pets and the blankie . It matches nothing, it doesn't look super chic, but I love it - brown and fuzzy. I think you should sleep the way you like, it's just knowing what you like best
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Post by DJ on Nov 6, 2009 12:48:00 GMT -5
i'm not sure of alternatives but something i'd look for when picking between the ones you gather is that the majority of people are not going to want to sleep on a bare mattress... and that whatever alternatives you choose should most likely be easily laundered... the main reason why not using sheets raises eyes as squalor, aside from knee jerk reaction.. is that it's very difficult to properly clean a mattress.. and when you sleep on a bare mattress.. even if you aren't allergic to dust mites.. people sweat in their sleep, skin sluffs off.. and for me i'm a big drooler in my sleep . but. pretty much if people can drool/leak/drip a fluid eventually that'll happen in your sleep too.. if you spend roughly 8 hours a day sleeping in bed... 1/3rd of your life there.. the mattress will tend to get dirty in ways difficult to clean. choosing not to use sheets doesn't make your home squalorous, or you squalorous.. but it does raise the question of how to keep the sleeping surface clean.. i know there's the issue of the sense of smell so something that didn't matter to you might matter to a partner.. as far as what your bed looks like to a casual visitor.. you say you use a quilt or unzipped sleeping bag... i'd probably try to find a quilt you like the looks of and go with that over the sleeping bag. and when you "make your bed" in the morning toss it over the bed. if guests go ruffling through your bedding to inspect sheets beneath the quilt.. well. they have bigger issues... i don't use standard bedding either, though more traditional than you.. and for me 'making the bed' actually means turning down the duvet and unstacking the pillows so it can all breathe while i open the window in the bedroom while i tidy up.. so my version of "making the bed" looks more like "deconstructing and spreading it out"
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2009 12:57:53 GMT -5
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Nov 6, 2009 13:47:41 GMT -5
the main reason why not using sheets raises eyes as squalor, aside from knee jerk reaction.. is that it's very difficult to properly clean a mattress.. and when you sleep on a bare mattress.. even if you aren't allergic to dust mites.. people sweat in their sleep, skin sluffs off.. and for me i'm a big drooler in my sleep . but. pretty much if people can drool/leak/drip a fluid eventually that'll happen in your sleep too.. if you spend roughly 8 hours a day sleeping in bed... 1/3rd of your life there.. the mattress will tend to get dirty in ways difficult to clean. choosing not to use sheets doesn't make your home squalorous, or you squalorous.. but it does raise the question of how to keep the sleeping surface clean..
i know there's the issue of the sense of smell so something that didn't matter to you might matter to a partner.. Thanks! That's the REAL issue, probably. I was probably subconsciously embarrassed to even be able to acknowledge it to myself. Over the course of time/years, bodily fluids/sweats ... and odors ... permeating the mattress. Gratitude that you typed it for me. I really needed it spelled out, but didn't know it. It's a relief to have that out in the open. Thanks. I hadn't "consciously" put it all together ..., but of course you are right! Hugs! I'll add an edit to the opening post, mentioning this. Love you. And all this time, I've been telling myself the issue was appearances and dustmites. I guess I didn't want to face the sanitation issue. The odor issue wasn't even in my subconscious. (Djollydjolan was aware that I was born without a sense of smell, so that's why she pointed it out, and I'm grateful).
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Post by slothzilla on Nov 6, 2009 14:10:41 GMT -5
My GF had no sense of smell due to a head injury she once had. She was always asking my opinion on whether there were any smells around. Due to her no sense of smell, she always kept the littterbox scooped.
I didn't make a habit out of it, but I could get away with wearing the same socks two days in a row with her, when I needed to do laundry. I've never admitted that to anyone before.
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Post by Bizzy on Nov 6, 2009 14:20:20 GMT -5
Lioness- This is a long shot but maybe it will help.
What do you like about the mattress-- the fact that nothing slides around? Is it puffy and you like that and/or silky and slidy? Or cotton and natural feeling- Keeps you cool? Or a combo of some things?What is it that feels good to you- makes you feel comfortable and gives you that good sleep? Or have you even thought about it? And what could you get to create those same things would be the question for me. I have also slept on the mattress many times for different reasons. If you don't want anything that slips and need to stay put no matter what- I know you said no sheets- but maybe you could get a very tight fitted one in whatever texture you like and attach with garters so it never slips. I HATE slipping fitted sheets and find those garters that go on the corners just don't cut it. I got long garters at bed bath and beyond- that criss cross under the bed and hold things tight as a drum to the mattress. I got another set of long garters to go horizontally across the mattress just for good measure. You could also do this with a nice mattress pad in what whatever fabric or texture you like- and if puffy is in your agenda- this would address that too. Ikea has great ones. I don't like a top sheet ever- hate getting tangled in anything-and just use a comforter or thin bedspread made of that chenile fabric that old housecoats are made of- over me- I like the feel of cotton. Or your unzipped cotton sleepng bag?- f you liked that a lot and wanted it to look a bit nicer- maybe you could hem the edges? I think you have to address what you like about the mattress and what you hate about sheets and then go from there.
Here is my example- I hate closed shoes- no matter what and feeling like my feet are bound- so most socks are out and so are most shoes. But my feet get cold in the winter and I can't go out barefoot everywhere. So I have nice fleece lined LOOSE leather mocassin like slippers with a semi firm leather sole that I can slip into and out of easy.I want to kick something on and off fast- to get on the couch and off fast._ I find I also can get away with wearing these in public. I don't have to wear socks with these and if I do-I can wear lose ones. I also have a few pairs of wooly felt like clogs - again very loose that I can slip into and fling off easy.Some with harder soles So I can wear outside if I need to- this is for colder weather. I tend toward Birkenstocks or clogs or crocks without the backstraps for going out. I also have several good pairs of loose wooly socks to wear around the house so I don't have to wear shoes at all if I don't want to and in warm weather I do barefoot whenever I can but have summer versions of the above to go out. When I say I hate my feet to be bound - I mean I feel CLAUSTROPHOBI- so this was a real issue- a pair of tennis shoes or even loafers will put me into a fit. Had to figure out what I hated about shoes and what I liked about feeling free and find some things that gave me what I needed and wanted. Took a while. That is all I got. Bizzy
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2009 14:24:06 GMT -5
Well if sanitation is the primary issue (verses beauty or comfort), then maybe you might want to think about having your mattress cleaned or getting a new one...I don't know what else you could do to fix that particular problem. I'm not sure how you could get around the issue of not using sheets and/or blankets unless you got rid of the bed completely and slept on a couch or futon. While that won't solve the sanitation issue, most people wouldn't raise an eyebrow if you didn't put sheets/blankets on a couch or futon.
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Post by Polar Bear on Nov 6, 2009 14:24:49 GMT -5
Dear Lioness,
I know you are trying to think of alternative bedding...but have you considered an alternative bed? Maybe then you could just avoid the need for traditional sheets altogether?
*hammock *Japanese futon with washable futon cover *I can't think of more at the moment, but I know there are many other kinds of beds out there. I would guess that the majority of people in the world sleep in something other than what we in America would consider to be a "standard" bed.
Hope this helps...
-Polar Bear
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Post by Polar Bear on Nov 6, 2009 14:26:56 GMT -5
Hurricane_J, I think we were reading each others' minds!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Nov 6, 2009 14:42:08 GMT -5
What do you like about the mattress-- the fact that nothing slides around?
Is it puffy and you like that and/or silky and slidy? Or cotton and natural feeling- Keeps you cool?
Or a combo of some things? What is it that feels good to you- makes you feel comfortable and gives you that good sleep? Or have you even thought about it?
And what could you get to create those same things would be the question for me.
I think you have to address what you like about the mattress and what you hate about sheets and then go from there. Thank you. Pondering .... -
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