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Post by clutterfree on Jan 22, 2010 13:11:14 GMT -5
You know, I was reading yesterday about how emotionally charged our stuff gets, especially when we're in a clutter, hoarding or squalor condition (or more than one of those).
I knew it, because I knew how hard tackling some of my things were. I still struggle from time to time, too. But I don't think I realized just how true the idea was, until a while ago I was looking throught the photos again. That's something I really missed when I wasn't registered.
I got to think back to even years ago when I first looked at other people's pictures. I dont' think there's ever been a situation where I've looked at a picture here or at the old boards, and didn't somewhere in my mind hear, "Oh, that's doable. That's not so bad."
Even when the person posting was in a pit of despair about the horror of the place, it never seemed that bad to me. ***, even Kimmy's pictures had me thinking that. I remember her original thread. I read it as she posted. And when I later saw her before pictures, I thought about how I'd feel to have to clean it up, and it didn't seem so bad to me.
I'm not being glib or trying to minimize anyone's pain. I just realized that no one else's clutter and squalor looks so insurmountable to me because it's not my stuff. And I'm just a bit amazed at how that works, that's all.
I think the silver lining might be that when I look around now and though I'm desqualored I kind of struggle with ghost squalor adn worry that something out of place will make people think I'm gross or something, that maybe what I'm seeing that's making me cringe is because it's MY STUFF, and they're not seeing a mess at all.
I had desqualored a couple of years ago by the time the water heater caught on fire. And my biggest concern (besides the welfare of my dauther and our animals) was whether or not the fireman who barreled through might have thought my house was messy.
Okay, it wasn't my biggest concern, but it was there. And isn't that a hell of a thing to worry about.
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Post by anonymoose on Jan 22, 2010 13:36:50 GMT -5
Makes perfect sense - I think that's why you keep hearing the same sentiment over and over here..."I can clean someone else's house easier than I can clean my own". It's proven to be true, I've helped my sister and my brother at their places, and it's SO much easier there.
And then there are issues of judgement/perception - even in my own house, it doesn't always look "that bad"...until the actual work starts and it turns out to be bigger than what my messed up brain determined it to be.
Not glad to know you still see the "ghost of squalor past", but glad to hear someone else speak about it. I've been wondering how most people view their homes, and if it's common for people in maintenance mode to still see what isn't there because of working around it and living in it for however long.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jan 22, 2010 19:15:19 GMT -5
Other people's squalor doesn't have the same rich history as our own.
I have occasionally kept myself desqualoring by repeating the mantra "it's not my stuff." Even though I know that's not true, it still helps.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jan 22, 2010 20:10:35 GMT -5
You hit it right on. I think the same thing when I see some of the pictures. It is not my stuff so I don't have an attachment to it. I can toss YOUR stuff no problem. Actually I can toss my stuff no problem. I just can't toss Hubby's stuff.  I have helped my brother and sil clean various homes of theirs no problem. They have had level 4 and it was not a big deal to me. |
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