jennmommi
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 91
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Post by jennmommi on Feb 1, 2010 23:16:43 GMT -5
My worst fear is upon me. I have been dreading this moment, the moment when something happens and I am forced to get the squalor cleaned and have a real deadline.
Well Last week I had a routine yearly woman checkup. I had been having some abdominal pain for some time but had chalked it up to stress/IBS/gas, etc. but I mentioned it to the Dr since I was there and it has been going on for months.
Well he found a mass in my abdomen so after a whirlwind of tests and ultrasounds and CT scan, we found out it is a rare type of tumor and I will need major surgery to have it removed. Fortunately this type is not usually cancerous, but to be honest, I am more worried about getting my house clean than having surgery.
Although this means a 2-3 day stay in the hospital, 1-2 weeks off work, and HERE'S THE KICKER 8-12 weeks with no lifting, pushing, or pulling anything over 10 pounds and no heavy housework, and on top of it, half my family whom I never have to worry about visiting because they are all at least 5 and 1/2 hours away are talking about coming up to "help me" which means my house needs to get clean and fast.
I am still working full time and have class so my time is VERY limited. I pretty much have 1 weekend (this weekend) to clean my house's common areas to prepare for work friends and family visitors...and NO it has to be clean before they enter I will not have anyone seeing it in the state it is now in.
I am going to start at the least messy (guest bathroom) and work my way to the messiest (dining room and kitchen floor area). If I get those done, I will work on the kids room and my room/bathroom. Hubby says he is on board to help, so I hope he is serious.
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Post by success19 on Feb 1, 2010 23:49:04 GMT -5
Oh my I wish I could help. I sure do hope your husband is helpful in this. Can anyone from your church help out?
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Post by sparkle on Feb 2, 2010 1:55:50 GMT -5
Yikes. I'd say that this is the time to call in Merry Maids or whoever and let them have a go at the cleaning part. You and hubby can deal with the clutter. I totally understand your priorities and am glad that the tumor is the kind it is. Even so, it's major surgery and I'm glad you have a support group around you. Keep us posted.
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Post by illuminata on Feb 2, 2010 2:18:21 GMT -5
I hope he is serious too! Sometimes, it takes something of this nature to get everybody involved and participating. If I can give a bit of advice...start small. Work in one small area at a time, and when that is done move to the next small area. Soon, you'll find out that they will merge and become big areas. Prayers that everything--desqualoring and detumoring--goes well for you.
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Post by gifted on Feb 2, 2010 2:27:49 GMT -5
Your health is more important! Do not stress yourself out, and exhaust yourself before the surgery.
Tell your work friends that you need your rest, and if they want to send casseroles, or anything else during your recovery, then hubby can pick them up (unless you want them to come over.) Tell them that your immune system will be low due to the surgery, and you need to avoid being exposed to all of the germs.
As far as the family is concerned, work out a schedule for them, so that your 8-12 weeks is covered. They may all want to rush to be at your side during the surgery, but that is 100% SELFISH behavior on their part. This is not about THEM wanting to show how important they are. It is about what will be most helpful for you and your family.
If the tumor is not cancerous, is there really a need to rush the surgery? Maybe it would be better for you to have an extra week or two to prepare?
I wish you the best.
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Post by mish on Feb 2, 2010 3:50:08 GMT -5
Oh dear! All the best for a speedy recovery, and take care!
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Post by shopgirl on Feb 2, 2010 3:58:38 GMT -5
When it rains it pours, eh? Best wishes to you. Your husband might rise to the occasion beautifully.
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Post by Butterfly on Feb 2, 2010 8:04:02 GMT -5
First of all, my best wishes for a speedy and full recovery! ...I am more worried about getting my house clean than having surgery... How telling is it that we feel this way! I am in a somewhat similar situation in that I am having surgery in a month or so and very much want to have my house clean by then, too. I don't have friends or family who will be coming over, so it's not as critical for me. But, I certainly understand your sense of urgency. I truly hope that your DH will step up as he's promised and help you this week! Since your big concern is guests, would it help to start your cleaning in the more public areas, like your entryway, living room and guest bathroom, and leave your bedroom areas for last? I think the maid cleaning service is an excellent idea. Maybe you could schedule them to come the day before your surgery so they can finish up whatever you haven't been able to get to? Who knows, maybe when your family comes over post surgery, they will pitch in and do some maintenance cleaning that you might not be able to do at that time.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Feb 2, 2010 9:23:51 GMT -5
This could indeed be your DH's wake-up call!
I suggest you strategize with DH now: "Here's what needs to get done before surgery, and here's what will need to be done afterwards. Here's what I'm able/unable to do. How shall WE bridge the gap between the two?"
Your role will, of necessity, be more of a "field marshall" during your convalescence, so discuss that now. Discuss what you CAN do (sorting drawers, folding laundry, etc) and insist that the two of you create a plan for all the other tasks. Point out that since you've been spearheading the desqualoring process, you will continue to monitor his progress.
You might be surprised.
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Post by clutterfree on Feb 2, 2010 9:59:32 GMT -5
I would feel the exact same way as you do. Though it's tempting to say just clean some and let people who want to help, help, I know that there's no way I would have been able to do that.
But I hope your husband really comes through for you and does a great deal of the work, so you have a bit less stress right now. My best wishes for the surgery and your recovery. I hope you don't upset and stress yourself too much over the state of the house beforehand, so you can devote some time to yourself right now.
I think you had mentioned before that when he does things, he does things that don't show. Definitely make sure he's aware that you're going for appearance first here, not stuff that's out of sight. And please, do not try to get anything perfect. You're going in for surgery, so it's unlikely anyone's going to judge you on housekeeping skills, they'll be more concerned for you!
Hang in there!
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Post by anonymoose on Feb 2, 2010 11:13:17 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're going through this! The only advice I can offer is maybe to start with the are you'll be doing most of your recovering in - I had major abdominal surgery for a mass several years ago, and having a comfortable and clean spot to hide in makes a difference in your speed of recovery. Some of what I remember wishing for was a clean bedroom with plenty of linens available (the medicine made me sick and I wasn't moving too quickly), simple foods that dirty as few dishes as possible available, enough clean laundry to not have to worry about it for a couple of weeks after returning from the hospital and an easy path through the bathroom (even stepping into the tub hurt for a while...mountain climbing to get to it made it worse). As for the rest of it - your health is more important than any mess in the rest of the house.
Wishing you all the best!
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Post by brenda on Feb 2, 2010 11:14:07 GMT -5
It is very important to get your bedroom as clean and germ free as you can before coming home from the hospital. My sister had a similar surgery and she was told this by the doctor prior to surgery. He said that since it is such a large incision and very invasive infection can easily occur. He went as far as to say to bleach her sheets and not let any one sit on her bed as they could bring something in to her.
I think you are wise to clean the house now so you can get better in a more healthy environment.
Sorry that you have to have surgery and I will say a prayer for a fast recovery.
Brenda
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jennmommi
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 91
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Post by jennmommi on Feb 2, 2010 16:25:40 GMT -5
Well found out today the surgery is scheduled for the 19th. Now that I have a deadline I think I can do it assuming hubby helps. I am not worrying about my bedroom at the moment, it is probably the worst of the house (mostly stacked boxes of things and clothing, no nasty, unsanitary stuff. The bed is clean and we sleep in it, and change and wash the sheets regularly) and I am pretty sure I will not be able to get in and out of my bed as it is really tall and I am really short and have to do a "hop" to get in it at night and I am pretty sure I will not be physically able to do that after surgery. I am going to make sure the couch is made up with clean sheets and blanket and a TV tray with necessities and a clear pathway down the hall to the toilet. I am focusing on the common areas and my kids' rooms (they will help in their rooms). I need to work on the kitchen badly (mostly the floors), and living room, foyer, and hall. It is not all that much, but when you are only home for a couple hours a night before bedtime, it is hard to find the time to clean. I will definitely do a marathon cleaning this weekend and might stop in to the chat room for some inspiration.
Hubby definitely doesn't want people coming over with it like this so he will help, my mom is insisting that she is coming, and my Nana might too.
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Post by kadymae on Feb 2, 2010 18:40:28 GMT -5
I wish you a trouble free surgery and a smooth recovery. I also hope DH steps up to the plate.
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Feb 3, 2010 11:12:13 GMT -5
Don't worry so much about the state of your house. Concentrate on getting strong for the surgery. Ask DH for as much help as he can give. If possible, if you have some money available, call in a Cleaning Service like Merry Maids. They will clean around any clutter. Box it up and push it to the sides of the rooms. Good luck with your Surgery! First things first! You are Number ONe!
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