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Post by gifted on Feb 3, 2010 16:01:10 GMT -5
Yes, I think we can assume that no hopping will be allowed after surgery. I have seen some nice little steps tools for under $10 at the department store. Perhaps one of these might help?
And, please watch that you do not exhaust yourself doing cleaning!
You need your immune system to be at its best to fight off all of the nasty critters that would just love a nice warm home inside your tummy! Any stress you cause now will deplete your immune system, and it will not be at full capacity.
Another idea might be to go to these relatives homes, while they are acting as caretakers for you. You will need to consult your doctor on this, and find out when you will be able to take a long drive.
Your number one job right now is to keep healthy! Please, please, please, do not overdue things before the surgery!
Even with all the great tools of modern medicine, the truth is that ultimately, it is only YOUR OWN BODY that can heal the incision after surgery, and bring you back to full health. All the rest of the medical treatment is only there to help your body to heal itself.
I am not a medical expert, but I know there are some at this board. Maybe we can get some advice from a nurse or other health care worker?
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Post by def6 on Feb 3, 2010 18:11:08 GMT -5
It might be a lot easier during this time to accept no one coming in to help you at home. I understand if Mom and Grandma want to come up and do the hospital waiting thing while you have surgery but they need to go home afterwards. Dear Husband can handle waitin' on you a bit and you can eat frozen lasangna on paper plates and the like. You will be able to rest better without company over. Just get your home prepared for you to be down for a little while. Put your foot down.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Feb 3, 2010 20:23:23 GMT -5
...Your number one job right now is to keep healthy! Please, please, please, do not overdue things before the surgery! Even with all the great tools of modern medicine, the truth is that ultimately, it is only YOUR OWN BODY that can heal the incision after surgery, and bring you back to full health. All the rest of the medical treatment is only there to help your body to heal itself. I am not a medical expert, but I know there are some at this board. Maybe we can get some advice from a nurse or other health care worker? You're the one who's having surgery, so your plan should be all about YOU. What's the least stressful to YOU? I suspect that you're generally accomodating, which will make this decision difficult. Most of your distress about this situation centers on other people, not YOU. Not since YOU gave birth to your children have YOU had as good a reason to think completely selfishly, and YOU SHOULD. Furthermore, any reasonable person would expect you to do so. Do YOU want your family there? If so, can you tolerate their reactions to your living conditions? You can't control how they react, but I'll bet you can predict it, and decide whether YOU would find it stressful. Would YOU want to stay with a family member, if the squalor were not an issue? If not, then the reason for staying with them (if you're considering it) is likely due to your concerns about their reaction to your squalor, and you're only allowed to think about what YOU want. Would YOU want family to come, if they could guarantee to avoid discussing the squalor? If, so, can they agree to this? Are YOU willing and able to clean your place up prior to surgery? If so, do you want to so you won't be embarrassed, or for other reasons as well (embarrassment is all about other people, not YOU)? Are the other reason sufficiently important that YOU would be cleaning so frantically, even if no one might visit? Is this the best use of your time, thinking only of YOUrself? A pedicure lasts longer, after all, and YOU won't be able to paint your toenails after surgery. Take some time today to figure out what YOU want, then go forth fearlessly. YOU deserve it!
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jennmommi
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 91
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Post by jennmommi on Feb 4, 2010 10:27:25 GMT -5
Thanks everyone. I am going to clean what I can with hubby while my sister is watching the kids this weekend. Whatever doesn't get done this weekend just won't get done. After this weekend I will decide if I feel comfortable enough for my mom to come. She is a messy/clutterer too and she even said she doesn't care about my messy house, but I want it to be picked up at least, in case work friends or church folks come over, plus I need the bathroom clean for myself since it is less of a walk from the couch to the guest bath than from my bed to my master bath. I am buying new sheets for the bed and couch (I do not have white ones so I can not bleach the ones I have, so I am buying new ones.) I am also making sure meals are frozen or easy recipes written down on the menu (I always make a menu, so I will just make this one more simple do DH can do the cooking). We have a stool to help me get into bed at night, but DH will help me in and out of bed. I will use the couch during the day since it is easier plus I can watch TV if I get bored. The girl that has come and helped me clean before won't be able to do it because she is about to have a baby, and we don't have a Merry Maids or anything like that around here. I am asking around to some people though because I know my friend at work has someone come clean his house once a week so I may get her number. I am going to get a manicure and pedicure and massage next week. It is my Valentine's present from DH so I can relax before surgery. I am so excited about that! I haven't had a mani and pedi in 5 years. (right after my twins were born a friend treated me to one). I did my own manicures but not had someone else do it since then.
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Post by midlife on Feb 6, 2010 20:48:37 GMT -5
Best wishes for a soothing environment and a speedy recovery!
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Post by Bizzy on Feb 7, 2010 1:14:09 GMT -5
Hiya--look on craigslist- tons of people (like me)- regular cleaning people that have lost work because of the economy-- looking for work and believe me - grateful to have someone to clean or organize for that really needs it. I hate working for someone with imaginary fingerprints and a few cobwebs. A messy house? You can tell you have been there and what you have done! Those clean houses? Hard to tell when you are done! I have cleaned for over 25 years. (My house is a mess but that is beside the point... ).. There are so many cleaning people who never had to advertise before- and are now having to advertise because they have lost longtime clients because they couldn't afford cleaning any more. They are willing to work for less than usual- are competitive and the individual gals- as opposed to the gals working for a big company- will work their fannies off for you and be grateful for the work- especially if you are happy to have them and nice to them. Just don't take advantage. Offer them coffee and to sit for a few minutes after a couple of hours. They will do handstands for you. It is hard work and all we want( besides a fair wage) is to be appreciated. If you treat us nice - we will pretty much do anything you ask and more. This is not a moral issue and anyone who has been doing this for any length of times gets that. If you are OK with how things are at your house- good. But if it were me- I would want to be as relaxed as possible and not worried about what people would find. It is fine to have places that are messy that you are ok with--- but if you iffy about some places and are able to afford it and can make your house comfortable - so you can rest and recoup with no stress about it being messy- then do it. It doesnt cost a lot to whip things in shape when you have a good gal who listens to you and gets what you need. And believe me- there are some good gals out there who would be happy to help you. If you dont want to answer a craigslist ad- you could place one of your own saying what you needed. I would answer in a hot minute. I love jobs like yours. Nothing like feeling really needed. I also think sometimes it is much better to have a stranger help you than a friend of a friend. Have helped many people in your situation and I think that peace of mind has SO much to do with healing. Just my two cents. No need to reply. It either fits or it doesn't . Best --- Bizzy.
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Post by Butterfly on Feb 7, 2010 4:53:24 GMT -5
Bizzy, I wish you were in my area. I need your help and would hire you right away!
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Post by Bizzy on Feb 7, 2010 19:22:33 GMT -5
Let me tell you guys- I would just love to clean for us......... Now I have been doing this for years and years and here is the thing-- if I am going to work this hard- I want it to look very different when I leave. Work for people who really need me-- And bring some peace of mind and happiness and ease to the people I clean for. And I am not alone. There are plenty of us around that prefer to clean a dirty house!! So==Dont be afraid- if you can afford it-- to find someone to help you. Get a down to earth person-- you will get a good job and a big hug afterwards. Be honest and let her know what you need. Craiglist is a wonderful resource- especially to find a person who does this on their own or with just one other person. and again- if someone is advertising and you call them- and they dont seem to fit the bill- - place an ad yourself- stating exaclty what you are looking for. You WILL find the right and perfect person . Why I can't do this for myself is beyond me- but it is not unlike the carpenter who has a house that needs repair! Bizzy
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jennmommi
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 91
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Post by jennmommi on Feb 8, 2010 12:20:16 GMT -5
We got a LOT done this weekend but still have the kitchen to tackle and the kids rooms. I also need to get DH finish his side of the living room since mine is clean now, and either finish the pile of laundry or at least get it out of the living room floor. Hopefully we can do it, if not maybe my mom can help when she comes up.
There are no ads in my area on Craigslist, although I just remembered one of my neighbors cleans houses as one of her jobs. I may ask her about helping out. (I don't know her too well other than the usual see her outside or borrowing sugar kind of thing)
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Post by Bizzy on Feb 8, 2010 17:30:36 GMT -5
Am so impressed with what you have gotten done! Remember not to overdo it- and hey- since you have gotten so much of the hard stuff done- maybe you would feel comfy asking this lady to help you even if she is a neighbor. Sounds like you have it under some kind of control- I wouldnot be this far ahead of the game if it was me- so GOOD FOR YOU!! Your are in my thoughts and I am rooting for you- for the getting your house in shape-- so you feel at ease and also for this upcoming challenge. Am glad you are not all on your own. You are inspiring a lot of us out here. I am so proud of you! What you are doing is a very big deal and we are all behind you. Bizzy
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jennmommi
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 91
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Post by jennmommi on Feb 15, 2010 14:21:25 GMT -5
I am entering the home stretch and am almost in maintenance mode. My husband has really stepped up and done a bag up job. I have done a lot myself too. We won't get our room done, but the public areas of the house and the kids rooms will be done as well as the kitchen and laundry room. That leaves only our bedroom and master bath for later after I recover from my surgery. I will post some before and after pics in the pics section sometime tonight or tomorrow as the final touches get done. I feel so much better going into this surgery and knowing company is coming with a clean house. I can worry about me and my recovery and not what does so and so think about this mess.
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Post by Butterfly on Feb 15, 2010 20:57:32 GMT -5
That is wonderful!!! I am so happy for you and feel that you will recover so much quicker with this worry off your mind. And, how great is it that your husband stepped up to the plate and really pitched in! I'm going to cross my fingers that when you get home from the hospital you will be surprised to find that your husband cleaned your bedroom and bath, too.
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Post by sparkle on Feb 15, 2010 22:42:02 GMT -5
I'm so glad you are in such great shape going into the surgery. Big hooray for all you and dh have accomplished. I hope bizzy is right and that you come home to a clean bedroom and bath, too. Will be watching for you to post again. Healing thoughts are with you.
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Post by lizzie on Feb 16, 2010 1:17:13 GMT -5
Woah, you will be ready for a good lie-down after all of this! Will you be able to post while you are recouperating, do you think?
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Feb 16, 2010 11:33:20 GMT -5
- Jennmommi, I'm so proud of all you've accomplished. Proud for the tremendous work you yourself have done. And awed that you got all this done, whilst working at a job, going to school, AND being a mom. And proud for your ability to communicate to your hubby that you needed him to work alongside you. This is huge because of your hubby's prior history of being unhelpful. Congratulations on a job well done. Positive thoughts for a good surgical outcome and a speedy recovery. -
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