YogaMom
New Member
ignore my typos; if I'm sitting down, I'm holding a kid
Joined: March 2010
Posts: 38
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Post by YogaMom on Mar 16, 2010 11:01:36 GMT -5
I've wondered about this a long time. For me, I feel I need to have fewer things in order to be sqalor free. Dh, though, has lots of stuff which he seldom purges. I don't know if it's actually hoarding he does, or if he just has lots of stuff. He does actually use most of it -- eventually. I know a quick answer would be: it's hoarding if it's impacting your ability to function in your daily life. But I'm thinking there has to be more to it than that. For example, if dh and I both work from home, and we have four kids, we are going to have more of a problem with having lots of stuff than one person living alone and working somewhere else. I always feel we have sooo much stuff and I want to get rid of it, and I purge useless items, but it seems like there is so much STUFF we actually USE I still can't find proper places for it or keep it from being clutter. Even when things are in appropriate places, it seems like too much STUFF! Is it possible to have too much stuff without hoarding, or does too much stuff = hoarding? And if one DOES have too much stuff without hoarding, then what? Get rid of stuff even if you have a use for it? I'm confused!
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Post by charis on Mar 16, 2010 11:27:24 GMT -5
I think the emotions attached to the things, and the extent to which a person will allow things to impede function/quality of life are what define a hoarder vs. a thoughtlessly messy or l*** person.
For instance--I should purge my closet. If someone purged my too-small and stained clothes, and reorganized my wardrobe by function and color I would be thrilled. If I were a hoarder, I would be in great distress--the neatness and improved convenience would be meaningless next to the fact that my things were messed with and that some of them were gone.
If you wanted to reorganize your husband's stuff with his input, and take what you thought was extra and put it in boxes in the garage for him to doublecheck, would he be generally okay with that, or would it make him terribly anxious?
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Post by puppybox on Mar 16, 2010 14:47:21 GMT -5
well, you may just like to have a different volume of stuff than he does. its an emotional thing, right?. you just feel crowded by that amount of stuff- fair enough, even if its not hoarding, you are entitled to your volume of stuff level that makes you feel comfortable at home. which is less than his.
if he does use it eventually, and if it does have an appropriate place to go (even if its not there now) then I would say its not to much. and if YOU aren'tpicking up for him al the time and it can be cleaned without too much work.
and maybe it could maybe be better organised.
And just because he MAY use it eventually doesn't mean he NEEDS it eventually.
maybe if it was hidden storage it would make you feel better (in cupboards with opaque doors not open shelving, for example) because you wouldn't SEE it there all the time.
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Post by Script on Mar 16, 2010 16:15:54 GMT -5
And if one DOES have too much stuff without hoarding, then what? Get rid of stuff even if you have a use for it? I'm confused! another aspect that is very important in LIFE: Do YOU currently have enough room to store this quantity of items in an appropriate manner? If I have room for ONLY 3 bathing suits, that's all I allow myself to have, even though I might be able to USE more. I have small closets and small dresser drawers: this means I really cannot store as many clothes as my sister who has a huge walk-in closet, full finished basement, and etc.. Clothes come to mind for me, because until a few years ago, I was NEVER able to fit 'all my clothes' in the space available. And so many were folded inappropriately or stuff in drawers or stored on open shelves. I had to face the fact that I cannot keep too many clothes. Also, it is really a bad idea to keep things for some distant day when you move into a bigger/better/newer/nicer home. You are trading ORDER and organization today for a future that may never materialize. good luck and xxoo |
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Post by success19 on Mar 20, 2010 1:41:05 GMT -5
I would say it is hoarding when it becomes dangerous - no pathways, unclean in a really bad way, - there is a line between the stuff and it taking over your life. When you watch a show like hoarders and the stuff is piled so high you can't see the floor and can't open doors - can't use sinks and toilets.
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Post by mrsmess on Mar 20, 2010 2:31:49 GMT -5
I suppose it could be hoarding to have too much stuff, even if it is all inherently useful stuff.
For example I have way too much china...I went through an ebay phase years ago, I was addicted to winning bids in the final seconds, the thrill of being the winner...cut a long story short I have ended up with one heck of a lot of china plates and bowls...they are all useful and if I rotate them, over time it is possible they will all get used, but do I really need them all? No.
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