hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815 
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Post by hopehope on Apr 13, 2010 0:33:20 GMT -5
With a nod to Yearning4Order's Emergency Kit -- i was thinking -- there are people here who have actually done this -- overcome resistance, demand resistance, fear, finances, lethargy, illness, lassitude, lack of energy, hateful and/or unhelpful others -- and gotten it done, for real.
unsqualored, unhoarded, organized, cleaned up, decorated and maintained.
How did you get over?
If we could have a compendium in one place of how each of you-all, individually -- were able to get it done, it could be a resource for, among others, me -- when I need to know, need to believe, need to remember, need to be inspired taught energized, helped -- hoped.
It could be a great help.
Thank you in advance.
Start here?:
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Apr 13, 2010 0:45:05 GMT -5
Hope, I was honestly thinking just the other day about a thread just like this one you've started, a thread where those who have accomplished the cleaning and de-cluttering they set out to do could tell the rest of us how they did it and how they maintain it. In short, a thread to give the rest of us still in the middle of our mess guidance and hope. Thank you so much for starting this!  |
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Post by cando on Apr 13, 2010 9:10:08 GMT -5
I agree with both of you. But I'd love to see it as a "stickied" thread or permanent one. That would be very helpful! Thanks for posting this HopeHope. CD  |
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Post by Script on Apr 13, 2010 9:45:17 GMT -5
ok, people like the idea of this topic, but no one has replied yet. I will take the plunge, dividing my response into sections.
I started moving into semi-retirement on May 1'2004 [ i think]. After that date I had more time to declutter. Also I received a substantial amount of money from the sale of a family property. Therefore, I was able to do this:
*Home: Structural Squalor
I spent a lot of the money and tons of time and energy working with Richard, contractor ("Mr Hunk") and crew. I ended up with new appliances in the kitchen, a totally finished laundry room, all windows repairs, everything in the house repainted; mega-repairs in bathroom, and so on. Our old home had deteriorated SO BADLY when we had no money, and needed major work.
One example: the roof started leaking, maybe around 2000? We had it fixed: this didn't help much. We had no money to replace the roof. Eventually we had the roof totally replaced, all rotten boards replaced. BUT.......upstairs all the ceilings were damaged from the leaks. The walls were stained. The carpet wrecked. Eventually Richard fixed all the upstairs ceilings, painted everything, repaired all the windows, replaced the carpets. This was done over multiple work sessions, over at least 4 years.
One example: in the upstairs bath, the plumbing behind the bath tub-shower assembly leaked. The wall was damaged. The tub was worn through to the metal. Floor tiles were cracked. Richard and some plumber buddies from The Club fixed the plumbing, replaced tiles, replaced floor, etc. Then over time I bought all new towels and accessories to match the new stuff. This project took AT LEAST 8 months in total.
*Decluttering
I started in the kitchen in Oct'04 just before I had the major dental surgery. I was terrified that somehow I wouldn't 'make it' home in one piece and my mom would see the mess. I just kept pruning and cleaning and tossing and giving away and and and. I got on several pick-up lists for charities: Canadian Diabetes, for example.
I must have given away 250 big green garbage bags of stuff by now. I paid my brother $200 to take about 700 books to GoodWill. I got rid of ALL the working papers in my office from writing projects: thousands of sheets. Likewise I got rid of 25 years accumulation of unfiled useless sheet musi. It took me 2 rounds of recycling just for the music.
I also had to replace so much ancient and unsuitable kitchen stuff (aluminum pots, broken pans, hand-me-down tools). I bought new, better, more efficient everything. I kept only what would fit in the kitchen. I gave away so much stuff from Mom and Granny: but I just had to do this.
*Financial Squalor
When I received the major $$$ from the family, I paid off all debts; re-organized everything in the office; established an Office Work schedule; and have been able to keep to it. I had an immense amount of PAPER from family business matters; I sorted it, often during Squalor Survivor challenges.
*Health Squalor
Well, I have spent about $30,000 on dental [some relating to an accident, some fixing neglect from old dentist] and Rx in the same time frame. I am finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia; I work very hard on regaining my health. I have spent at least another $30,000 on rehab of various kinds.
What has helped me:
*fear: I started when I was afraid of others seeing the mess.
*self-esteem improvements: I continue because I want to live in a nice place: FOR ME.
*a timer: I set it for everything now, even music practice sessions. This helps with lack of energy: I can do something for 15 minutes.
*accountability: posting here or at my LiveJournal account. Formerly I kept a triumph list on ListZilla. I have jobs I hate: I am encouraged when I can POST A TRIUMPH
*persistence: I de-cluttered the kitchen AT LEAST three times before I was finished. Likewise, I keep tossing all the time. As Eagle and others have explained elsewhere, I have the one-in-two-or-more-out rule. It took me a long time to realize that THINGS TAKE TIME.
*support here and other web sites . I need CONSTANT SUPPORT: daily, if truth be told.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story.
xxoo from Script
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Post by Rennie Ellen on Apr 13, 2010 10:27:47 GMT -5
I can say it now because it's a fact.
I have crossed the line from clutter to maintenance!
In my previous apartment, it was pretty clean. I just had to deal with my daughter's stage 4 bedroom and her uncooperative attitude and even sabotaging my efforts in cleaning her room. Then I lost my home aide. Slowly things started to clutter up because my disability left me with no energy. I tried to do what I could but it was like emptying the Pacific Ocean with a teaspoon -- futile.
When my daughter moved out in 2005 and I had to move in 2006, I got help downsizing, packing and moving. My new apartment was WAY smaller than I had thought and it was time to unpack and downsize some more. Most of this I did alone, which, because of my physical disabilities, took time. So my new apartment was starting to look like a home.
But then I had more physical setbacks. I was diagnosed with a heart condition. I tried to get help but was told I wasn't disabled "enough". Things were piling up again because I was just too sick to do it. And living in public housing, the landlord is mighty picky about residents living in clutter. I dreaded the annual inspections and any time maintenance had to enter my apartment to do repairs, change the furnace filter and check the smoke detector.
But last November things changed. I was in the hospital with A-Fib and decided to try one more time to get help with my housekeeping issues. I asked the nurse if I could see a social worker. She came later that day and I told her my situation. She got the ball rolling and the hospital's home health provider contacted me a week after I came home from the hospital. By mid-December, with their help, I had qualified for help through the Division of Aging & Disability and Amy, my aide, arrived to help me clean 3 days a week for 2 hours and 15 minutes. I was totally embarrassed at the condition of my apartment -- my "BEDROOM OF DOOM" especially -- but she assured me we could get it done.
So with her doing what I can't do, and me doing what I can do, in a month the "BEDROOM OF DOOM" became a clean, organized place for me to sleep and relax and my apartment was transformed into a cozy home for Angel and me.
I don't know if I'm qualified to give advice but this is what you can learn from my story:
The clutter didn't all happen in one day, so it won't get all straightened out in one day. It WILL take some time, so be patient and keep plugging away at it.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. There ARE people out there who will help without judging you. I shudder to think where I'd be right now if I gave up trying to get assistance. 
Maintenance is a lifestyle change. I know they say that about eating healthy, but I think it applies to maintenance, too.
Be prepared to receive ALL life has to offer you once everything is decluttered! I no longer fear the knock at my door. I now have a nice bed in my lovely bedroom. I've even had company come for the weekend last month and I'm having another friend come in two weeks to celebrate my 50th birthday. I feel a whole new chapter of my life has opened up to me.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it! 
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Post by Chris on Apr 13, 2010 10:30:04 GMT -5
I'm wanting to reply but sort of holding off thinking "well I'm not done" ...  ... but I can come back and tell how I brought our home along this far (when I started it wasn't like it is now - it was TONS worse). And even our finances along as far as they are. I consider so much of what I am doing a work in progress same with my weight .... still working at it but down a solid 20 pounds consistently for 5 years with well .... 30 or so more to go. This is a super thread and I think I can contribute something when I come back later. NOTE: this is the 10th year of me working on my/our clutter and hoarding issues and I think that even though I'm not DONE -- there is a lot of good positives just in the fact that I can have people here to eat, stay over, visit, and I can honestly say I am not embarrassed by the main house (no areas except attic, garage really).  |
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Post by shopgirl on Apr 13, 2010 13:10:06 GMT -5
My place is not 100% yet, but it is presentable, clean and tidy. Some things that have worked for me:
• got my health in order. Went on meds for hormone replacement, low thyroid, and high blood glucose. Increased fruits, veggies and whole grains. Brisk walk for an hour 3-4 times a week.
• got rid of many items before I moved from townhouse to smaller apartment. Donations to Goodwill and Library.
• stayed out of stores and malls. No wandering the aisles of TJ Maxx or Target for entertainment. When in the store, shopping from a list. When I do cave in to impulse items, I return the item the very next day. No guilt.
• when buying an item, discarding 2 old worn-out items that the new purchase replaced.
• doing dishes and laundry every day. A load of laundry is wash, dry, fold AND put away. No clean clothes sitting in laundry baskets or piles.
• straighten out the kitchen and living/dining room each night before going to bed. Wipe down counters and sink.
• deal with mail every day as soon as it comes in: immediately pay and file invoices, shred credit card offers, and throw away junk mail.
• now that I have a new car with a tiny trunk, I will be redeeming my soda-pop cans every other week. Can't fit more than 2 kitchen bags of cans in the tiny trunk.
• not buying any books, CDs, or DVDs. I'm lucky to have a great Public Library I can borrow from. No magazine subscriptions. Any books I purchase are e-books. The files are tiny and portable. Amazon's Kindle can now run on Mac or PC. No need to buy a Kindle. I love reading books on my tiny 9" Dell mini Netbook.
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Post by Chris on Apr 13, 2010 15:17:47 GMT -5
Again, we are definitely still a work in progress but I feel we are in maintenance on all but the attic. The garage is coming along as we speak. There is one closet that is awfully full but our home is really organized and clean and very functional now. This is what I think has made the 10 years of desqualoring start moving along better and better and better: * I have read every book on clutter and hoarding I could get my hands on -- but it was not until I got a hold of Buried in Treasures (Tolin) that I started understanding the "acquiring" aspect. The light bulb went off that until we stopped bringing in more (thru junk collecting, shopping, flea marketing and etc.) would we really deal with the root issues. * We began about 2 years ago seriously dealing with our financial squalor and credit card debt = that has had a very beneficial effect on our "clutter" problem and the problem of having too many clothes and too many purchases. Getting "right" with our money has caused a lot of natural consequences and less spending and more careful use of what we do have resulted. * About 6 years ago, nursing had to come in and take care of my FIL when he was ill -- there's nothing like having home health in your house to make you really try to clear at least the main rooms. * I found this site and it has given me the support and the element of daily accountability and esprit de corp of so many people working on the same issue -- I owe most of my success over the past 2 years to my coming here and contributing. (the element of support is so critical) *I find that because I have worked with a lot of elderly people in my family and as a caregiver for a home care company = it has made me aware of how things can be when one needs a clear home for wheelchairs, walkers, and safety ----- and how important it is to have money for our needs as we get older. So I feel a lot of my progress has come about because I have a new future perspective like how I might need the attic cleaned while I can still get up there ----- things like that. I guess that's what I can contribute at this point. I really can hardly believe the tremendous progress I/we have made in recent years. There are so many elements that make a difference, including the hoarding shows that have made me realize what the advanced stages of this condition would be like should I NOT deal with it now while it's in a rather "early stage" for me and DH. I am serious -- I can clearly see how we would be if we did not WORK NOW on this. Everyday I am grateful to all of you here and the fact that this board is here for us. And the doctors working on the books and programs that can continue to give us more help in dealing with this.     |
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Post by success19 on Apr 13, 2010 17:16:24 GMT -5
Well for me - I am still working on it - but dd got married - recession - depression - toxic work environment - economy - unhappiness - financial blahs - my life must change - I must make drastic change - can't take it with me.
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Post by def6 on Apr 13, 2010 18:39:31 GMT -5
I am a work in progress....but one of the most significant things that I have learned in this process is keep my channels of desqualoring open; The dishes ,the laundry, the trash and donating . If any one of these channels or outlets get "clogged up" I freeze.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 13, 2010 23:26:04 GMT -5
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Post by cando on Apr 16, 2010 11:17:52 GMT -5
*bump*
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Apr 17, 2010 12:34:37 GMT -5
BUMP I wanna hear some stories! Please, somebody? |
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Apr 17, 2010 16:08:08 GMT -5
There are two parts of staying de-cluttered. Maintenance and prevention. Everyone here knows about maintenance but prevention is just as important. Keep wastebasakets in every room. Don't buy stuff unless you really need it or if it's replacing something you get rid of. This includes toasters, books, just about everything. Prevention AND maintenance.
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Post by dtesposito on Apr 17, 2010 19:54:53 GMT -5
I also have a long way to go, but in looking back I've made a lot of progress. It happened over the course of several years, and in thinking about responding to this thread, I tried to think not of the decluttering steps I took, but the little things that clicked in my mind to make me want to take the decluttering steps.
I have to say it was hearing these same concepts over and over again. I could read them, say 10 times and say, "yeah, that's probably true" but maybe the 11th time it CLICKED! "OMG, yeah, that is SO true!!" Only then does your outlook change. These are the top concepts that I had to internalize before I could let go of stuff, starting with the most important ones:
1. The perfect is the enemy of the good
2. A) When I need it, I either won’t remember that I have it, or I won’t be able to find it.
B) Even if I remember that I have it and approximately which box it’s in, it will be easier to buy a new one than move out the 20 boxes that are blocking the one I need.
C) Having to purchase a few items for a few dollars each over a long period of time is better than constantly tripping (for years) over all the boxes of things I’ve saved “in case I need it some day”
3. What is the realistic chance that in the near future I’ll have enough money to buy that bigger place that will have room for all of my stuff? What is the realistic chance in the near future that I’ll be able to quit my job and stay home to catch up and read all the magazines I’m saving and make all the crafts that I have supplies for? For most of us, the answer is just about zero. Maybe when I’m 65 and retire? Do I want my house to look this way until I’m 65?
4. When I work on any decluttering project, don’t leave more of a mess than when I started.
5. “I just need the right storage furniture in my house”. The square footage of my stuff is not going to change because I put it into storage cubes/cabinets/ baskets. In fact, I will fit less cubic feet of stuff into storage furniture than I have in a pile on the floor. It will look neater, but if my piles of stuff are filling up the whole room, I will need storage furniture that also fills up the whole room, unless I reduce the amount I am keeping.
6. Most everything in newspapers and magazines can be found on the internet when I need it again, and will be easier to find online than on that scrap of paper I threw into the bottom of a box. Besides, newspapers go out of date, and magazines run the same feature articles on the same subject year after year--it’ll come around again. (Don’t believe it? Do these sound familiar: “A walking program to lose 10 pounds in only 20 minutes a day” “One basic holiday cookie recipe, 10 variations” “10 tax deductions people forget to take” “Ways to save money at the grocery store” “5 signs that he’s cheating”, etc. I could write these stories in my sleep I’ve read so many variations of them.)
7. If my magazine piles are getting larger instead of smaller I have to face the fact that I’ll never have time to read them.
8. If there are drawers in my house that I can’t open because there is stuff stacked in front of them, I have too much stuff.
9. If there are drawers that I can’t open because the weight of what’s in them has pushed the bottoms down into the next drawer, I have too much stuff.
I think people have to read things like this over and over until the time comes when they are ready to accept them. That's why this site is so helpful, there are so many points of view to absorb if you keep reading all the different threads and links. As I've said before, the perspective of time has helped me too. I've actually experienced remembering that I might have something, but not being able to remember where. Many times. Many, many times.
Diane
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