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Post by Rory on Apr 24, 2010 2:29:08 GMT -5
Thank you all for yor wisdom and recovery.
I can relate. I keep finding stuff and am surprised.
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Post by Chris on Apr 24, 2010 13:33:40 GMT -5
.... When I began to desqualor a few years ago, I went through tons of stuff. I narrowed everything down to 11 totes, which went into that storage room. ...... Oh I think this simply shows how FAR you've come since "a few years ago". Really, that you are now that uncomfortable and see the disorganization of those bags .... well to me it shows the HUGE progress you've made since stashing those bags. You wouldn't handle the sorting the same now - you're at a whole different place. I do understand. I came across some boxes with my stuff that I simply couldn't believe I'd packed up but I know I did (in the past) and just like you described -- they contained such a drastic mixture of junk and important things it was shocking. I think it's good when we can be "shocked" by our stuff. It shows incredible progress!
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Post by dtesposito on Apr 24, 2010 19:29:46 GMT -5
breakingfree, I had to find this thread and respond, because this afternoon I went through a similar experience to yours.
Most of my apartment is looking much better than it did, I still have a lot of stuff but it is boxed and relatively neat, I can easily walk through my rooms and I'm getting better every day. The only thing that has been bothering me is my spare room, a second bedroom that I use for storage, and it has a small work table for when I need a surface to spread things out on. It has a screen door that keeps the cats out, so I also keep my parakeets in this room, as well as the few plants I have left.
I have pretty much neglected doing anything in this room for the last couple of years, because it is closed off and because I consider it a storage area so the amount of stuff in it wasn't as bad as having it in the rest of my apartment. Now that I feel I'm turning a corner in my decluttering, I've been wanting to make some progress in that room, but every time I go in there, I haven't known where to start--it felt the way it did when I started on my whole apartment several years ago--a kind of paralysis and not knowing what to do first.
So today I went in there and just sat for a while, looking around at everything. It finally felt okay to just START in a corner, and begin to throw some things away and vacuum while I was going. I've just spent several hours in that room, and I feel kind of shell-shocked. I found so much junk in boxes--not important things, I'll be able to throw most of it out when I can actually look through it, but it's a reminder of how much baggage I've carried around with me for 20 years--all of it making me depressed because it kept my home so messy and hard to live in. I just kept saying, WHY, WHY, WHY couldn't I throw this stuff out 15, 10, 7 years ago?
I don't feel bad exactly, I'm actually quite relieved that I started in there, and as Chris said above, it's a reminder that I've come SO far--and that there isn't a chance of me going back there, because I look at the stuff I saved now and see it for what it is--junk that has been holding me back from having the kind of place I want and deserve to have. I can't wait to get the rest of it out of here, although I know I have to be patient and can't expect it all to get better overnight.
I moved several items out to go down to my storage area in the basement, good things like my cold-weather space heaters and my humidifier. I threw many things out. I vacuumed up a whole vacuum container of dust and bird feathers. I stacked up 4 boxes and 2 bags of stuff that still needs to be gone through and that is still somewhat obstructing my movement in the room, and that doesn't count 6 more boxes of stuff under the work table AND a full closet. BUT, it looks so much better, I can walk all the way around the table and reach the plants in the second window to water them.
I'm sorry to be so long-winded and take over your thread, but the feeling of shock when I started looking through these boxes immediately made me remember reading this thread when you posted about finding those totes. I guess I've been making so much progress that I already forgot how bad I was. I'm determined to get through this last room no matter how long it takes, and I'm sure you are glad to be going through those totes and getting rid of the last of what once was, and which will never be again!!
Diane
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Post by breakingfree on Apr 25, 2010 9:26:51 GMT -5
Hello everyone,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I understand, Diane, exactly what you mean and I understand that shock all too well. It was kind of scary to me because I had honestly forgotten that stuff was even there. I guess I had just repressed it, I don't know. I was truly surprised that it was there, and that in each tote was such a hodge-podge of things.
All those trashbags of trash and old papers is now gone to the dump. I still have mixed feelings about that, but I know deep down that I did the right thing. A bit more good news, I spent the morning yesterday shredding the mail that I had stashed in my basket and that I had also stashed in a couple of shopping bags into my hall closet.
I am tackling laundry today and now that it has stopped raining we are organizing the yard sale stuff. I guess I have come a long way after all even after that shock because I don't feel stressful about selling the yard sale stuff. In fact, I suggested just loading it up and taking it to the GoodWill. SO promised that anything that doesn't sell will be promptly hauled off and donated, but that if we could make even $50.00 that would be $50.00 more than what we had.
I supposed the most important revelation I've had is that yes, I did find that stuff. For some reason I didn't remember it was just slung into boxes like that. BUT, as you guys have so supportively pointed out, that was then and this is now. How I handle it NOW is what is important. This experience has really helped me, even though it was traumatic.
I truly, truly, hope that somehow, some way, this experience can help me continue to grow and maybe help someone else out there.
Thank you guys again, so much for your support and understanding. You all mean the world to me and I am thankful that I have you, as well as my SO, in my life.
God Bless you All,
BF
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