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Post by CrimsonKat on Jul 23, 2008 4:36:46 GMT -5
Entered the danger zone  & lived to tell the tale! As some of you may have seen on commercials, Linens N’ Things is closing some of their stores and having major clearance sales at those stores. Stores like that (also Bed, Bath & Beyond) are hardcore danger zones for me. I like gadgets and have big ideas about how wonderful my life would be “if I just had that!” But there was a sale going on, and we’ve been putting off getting a few things since money has been so tight. I thought, this would be the perfect time to shop because we could get everything on sale. So I went in. I felt immediate anxiety when I walked into the store. My DH was with me, and is very patient when I shop. I am a bit OCD and have to follow my “system” of how I shop or I panic. I had specific things in mind that I wanted to get, but I know myself. If I see pretty, shiny things on sale, I suddenly want a lot more stuff. I want to quell the “need”. This is part of the behavior that leads to overbuying, collecting and hoarding. I’ve been making huge changes (especially during the past 5 months or so) in my life when it comes to having so much stuff. I’ve been systematically recycling, throwing away and giving away all the stuff I’ve (and my DH) accumulated over the years. But, I wanted to share with all of you that I made some progress today! I probably looked crazy, but I don’t care, but I talked myself through the store. Every time I saw or picked up something that made me say “Wee! I NEED that!” inside, I reasoned with myself aloud. For example, big, beautiful comforters were on sale. They were so pretty, and we don’t have one, so…. this is kind of how it went (DH was standing there, but knew enough to not say anything and just let me work it out myself) - “Oh look, comforters! These are so pretty. Aren’t they so pretty, honey? I wish our bed looked like that. I wish we looked like we lived like grown ups. *sigh*….. (Then I petted all the different ones.) They are so soft. And they’re not THAT much. See? *sigh* (Started feeling anxiety with the need and the decision looming over me now.) I wish we had a house so we could get all this stuff and have it really matter, but we live in a crappy apartment. And they’re so big. How would we wash these? And Martina (our very old, prone to coughing up hairballs kitty) would probably mess it up. I hate to say it, but we should probably hold off getting a nice comforter until after she passes. And even though they are on sale now, there will be other sales again, right honey? This isn’t the last sale on Earth. And we can’t really afford things that we don’t really NEED. I want this, but I don’t need it. And, we are trying to downsize, not clutter more! We have all the blankets we need to stay warm in the Winter. One more thing would just clutter our (newly clean, that we worked really hard on) closet. So… we don’t need this then. No! Moving on! (and then I quickly rolled my cart away and looked for the things we DID go there for.)”  This process went on about every 2 minutes for about an hour. My poor DH. What a supportive guy! The other part that was good was that our total came to $190 and I was feeling weird about charging it on a credit card. I (again, out loud) reasoned that I would just go home and pay the CC right back so it wouldn’t add to our debt. Then my wonderful DH steps in and says we should use his debit card because he just deposited the stimulus check in there. It would be like paying cash. Well, that put a whole new spin on things. I checked again to make sure that we really should buy what we were buying now that we were about to use REAL money. I decided yes. Bottom line is that while I still felt a bit conflicted about buying ANYTHING with our money situation being what it is, the GOOD part was… I talked myself out of buying a LOT of stuff I didn’t need to buy, and I paid cash for the items we did buy. That is huge for me. I feel like I attacked potental squalor before it happened! I am very proud of myself about it and I wanted to share with people who understand.   |
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Post by skitter on Jul 23, 2008 4:44:17 GMT -5
Congratulations to you and to your wonderful husband, CrimsonKat! What an accomplishment! I hope that you really do get to enjoy the lovely things that you did buy!
Cheers, skitter
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Post by merrymaid on Jul 23, 2008 5:26:38 GMT -5
Yay!! You did good. Dh, too  |
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Post by canna on Jul 23, 2008 6:50:14 GMT -5
CrimsonKat, what a nice success story! You seem to have a system in place with dealing with the shopping temptations! Yes, comforters, beautiful comforters! I did that same thing a few months ago, and talked myself out of buying one...since I have a nice one that I love already.
And DH sounds like a really nice guy.
Using a Debit card instead of credit is a good way to help budget, too. I only use my debit card, I do not have a credit card and don't want one.
You'll save a lot of $ and resist lots of clutter by using your "talk myself through the store" method!
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Post by jkai3 on Jul 23, 2008 7:59:40 GMT -5
Dear CrimsonKat,
You are an inspiration! I hope one day I can do what you just did! Congrats!!! I love your "talk yourself through the store" method, I will try that next time! WTG!!!!
JKai3:)
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Post by zinnia on Jul 23, 2008 13:45:51 GMT -5
Congrats to you for taking the time to think things through and making the choices that were best for you.
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Post by heylady1 on Jul 23, 2008 14:17:53 GMT -5
You did awesome CrimsonKat, and your Hubby too!!!  Talking yourself out of stuff is hard sometimes but you did a wonderful job and how right you are about the difference between needing and wanting.  I've been doing this too but unlike you I am still having trouble with the darn credit card. We got rid of one finally but this last one seems to have a life of it's own!! I am so proud of you for not using your CC and paying with the debit card instead!!!  Edited to add: wanted to say that I love stores like Bed, Bath and Beyond and I avoid them as much as possible!!!  |
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Post by messymimi on Jul 23, 2008 15:49:16 GMT -5
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Post by threeg on Jul 23, 2008 20:13:59 GMT -5
OMG CK, I do the SAME thing lately! I have talked myself out of sooo many things that it amazes me,  . #wtg# On doing so well, and DH gets a big cheer too! #cheerleader# 3g is me |
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Post by Fivecat on Jul 23, 2008 23:24:49 GMT -5
i also talk to myself like this all the time, !!! really does help keep the clutter down as well as money in your pocket fivecat |
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Post by pegasus48 on Jul 23, 2008 23:55:42 GMT -5
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spacemaker
New Member
Space (where I can see carpet), the final frontier
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 88
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Post by spacemaker on Jul 23, 2008 23:55:55 GMT -5
Way to go CrimsonKat! Unnecessary spending is something I wrestle with too. Here is a quote I really love: "You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy." - Eric Hoffer I also like this song, plus it is a cool video (Annie Lennox - Money Can't Buy It): My favorite lines from the song: Give up your needs... Your poisoned seeds Find yourself elected to a different kind of creed XO, Spacemaker (Hi, my name is Spacemaker and it has been 5 weeks since my last eBay purchase =) |
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Post by CrimsonKat on Jul 24, 2008 2:10:29 GMT -5
Thanks to everyone for the kind words. Your "yays" made me smile.
spacemaker - I LOVE that Eric Hoffer quote! Thanks so much for sharing it. I am a writer (poetry, stories) and really enjoy the beauty and power of words.
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Post by creativechaos on Jul 25, 2008 15:54:59 GMT -5
I just checked in to this thread: WOW! CrimsonKat, congratulations to you; that is HUGE!
Spacesaver, congrats on going 5 whole months without buying anything on eBay! I live on an island, and my weaknesses in acquiring are online shopping and yard sales. Nothing will change if I don't stop buying. Thanks as well for the Eric Hoffer quote and the link to Annie Lennox; her songwriting is great!
BTW, how do you all do that neat thing on the bottom of your posts that measures the time you have been doing something? I think that is way cool; plus the great graphics some of you use.
Thanks!
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Post by WestsideStory on Jul 26, 2008 2:46:20 GMT -5
I am very proud of you for having so much discipline and self-control. WTG! (And a hug and a kiss to your DH for going shopping with you.)
WestsideStory
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