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Post by serenitynow on May 31, 2010 8:21:31 GMT -5
Dearest Purple,
I was just thinking about your sister yesterday. I hope we can be here for you as you are for her.
I've been in your shoes. I'm holding you both in my heart and prayers.
Love,
serenitynow
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Post by StuffNoMore on May 31, 2010 8:44:28 GMT -5
Purple, please give 3g a big gentle hug from me. I've been thinking about you both so much. I only wish I would have gotten to meet you both before all this happened. It's not the same without her posting about her donations.
As I said earlier, I'm not far from you so please PM me if you need me for anything at all or even to vent to.
Love to you and 3g
Hugs
SNM
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Post by houseworkhater on May 31, 2010 14:58:33 GMT -5
Oh, Purple...I adore 3G...she has been an inspiration. And so have you, with this post. I am keeping you both in my prayers. I HATE cancer more than I can say. Much love...
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Post by cando on May 31, 2010 16:11:06 GMT -5
Purple, Please give 3G an extra hug from me, "CanDo". We have known each other a very long time thru SqualorSurvivors and then here. I wish that she didn't have to go thru this and I, too, hope that the rest of her days will be pain-free. She was decluttering so much when she was hit with this and after going thru it with her SO. Thank you for your message to us and for her quote. I was just looking up 3G's thread in the Blog section to see how she is doing and saw Lioness's post with the link to this thread.  CD  |
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Post by Little_Ninja on May 31, 2010 17:49:28 GMT -5
Purple, This is such an important and beautiful message written straight from your heart. Thank you so much for your post! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this stress right now. Both you and 3g are beloved members of our community. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I do understand your anger. You have every right to be angry. And yet you took the time to post your "warning" message for the rest of us to learn by it. Thank you! I am in exactly that state of life right now. Surrounded by own squalor, plus boxes of my shop-o-holic periods, plus unopened boxes from my parents' estate. And what good does it do me? It doesn't make me happy. It makes me mad of the years I've wasted in my life, not actually LIVING, but being buried in squalor and clutter. And I too, hope, to have my home cleared out before I die, so I can make sure all the good stuff goes to charities and people who could really use all the stuff. And there's no way in heck that I'd want to make someone have to go through and deal with my stuff after I'm gone. You have every right to be angry. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Please tell 3g I'm thinking of her and praying for her. Her message from April was a true gift to our community:
And now here is a quote from my sister written on April 13, 2010:
“Since being diagnosed myself with stage 4 cancer, I have realized so many things.
1. Stuff, even family memorabilia, is NOT important AT ALL!
It will not mean as much to anyone else after we are gone. It may all be sold, tossed, or discarded.
2. SO..... sell or discard it now and step one giant step out of Squalor.
Stuff won't save your life, make you well, or even make you happy when you're sad.
It clogs the arteries of your soul, dragging you down with it as it expands.
I'd rather lose all I own and have my fiancé and my health back.”love and hugs,   Little_Ninja |
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Post by skatters on May 31, 2010 18:03:52 GMT -5
Thank you for the reminder Purple. Sometimes hearing it, from a loved one's view point, is important. I hear you...
Prayers and gentle hugs to both you and 3g.
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Post by Peach on May 31, 2010 19:04:11 GMT -5
Dear Purple ~~ Thank you so much for taking the time to express your thoughts and to include 3G's advice. All of us can use the reminder. I have been cleaning out my parents' possessions while we live my mother's final days with her. Sometimes I have gotten angry at what I've found. So much perfectly good stuff that was purchased but never used. A lot had to be trashed. Clothing so old that elastic had deteriorated. But, there were also items that went to Goodwill. It always makes me happy to drop off a load. To let go of these pieces of my parents' lives. To set them free. Meanwhile, my own house has fallen seriously into a mess. The more I toss from parents' house the more I want to toss from mine. 3G is right-on when she says "Stuff, even family memorabilia, is NOT important AT ALL!" Thank you 3G  and thank you Purple |
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Post by WestsideStory on May 31, 2010 19:36:16 GMT -5
Dear Purple and 3G:
Thank you for taking the time to check in here. My eyes are misting up and I have no words but my heart is full of healing and, I hope, comforting love for you both. I echo the wishes many have expressed here for a painfree passing for 3G and for you both to have all the love and support you need during this time.
Hugs and loving thoughts --
WestsideStory
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Post by eagle on Jun 1, 2010 1:59:41 GMT -5
Purple, it's been awhile since I've read one of your posts. In spite of the rough time you and 3G are going through, it is good to hear from you. I wish, of couse that it could have benn under different circumstances.
Yes, 3G's post on the 13th of April struck a cord with me, too.
During my mother's last year, we went through many of her things, with her telling background stories and so forth. It was hard enough when she was still alive, knowing she had so little time left, and she never had as much stuff as I do to go through. After she was gone it was much harder, when my Dad & I started going through what was left. I couldn't deal with it very well at all.
My Dad, however, managed all of that extremely well. He was continually cleaning out and getting rid of stuff. Mind you, neither of my parents hoarded or lived in squalor. He had one box labled as his memorabilia when he died. Only one box. Admirable. He had one box of his family geneology and one box of my mother's geneology. He had two boxes of photos, mostly negatives that he had carefully labeled by year and content (who was in them.) He had only one bookcase, not a large one, and most of what was on the shelves were his own manuscripts and some geneology books. He only had enough clothes to fit into probably two large suitcases, maybe three. Over the past decade he periodically sent me and my brothers packages (some as small as an envelope & some as big as a medium sized file box) containing things of importance. I believe this was one of his methods of dwindling what was left behind when he died. Of course he was also continually donating to St. Vincent de Paul and giving things away to whomever was willng to receive.
In fact a month before he died he offered me a car (I said, 'No') and some tarps. When I wouldn't take either, he put the tarps into the car to take to donation. He later gave the car to one of my brothers. Rather than keep a perfectly good car (and it was) or perfectly good (brand new, in fact) tarps for some future use, he gave them away.
How many of us here would or could do that when we realized we didn't want or need them anymore? I am trying, and making some progress. But I have a long way to go to get to where my father was in his wisdom regarding the keeping of too many things.
Give 3G a hug for me, and tell her to give you a hug for me, too.
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Post by Platypus on Jun 1, 2010 3:57:19 GMT -5
Please tell 3g Platypus sends her love and prayers. She is always an inspiration to me. I am so sad to hear this, and grateful for your post. |
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Post by mouseanne on Jun 1, 2010 7:59:52 GMT -5
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Post by lozzylooloo on Jun 1, 2010 8:34:23 GMT -5
Thank you so much for taking the time and energy at this heart wrenching time to post this message to us, I certainly appreciate it and have taken it on board.
The others have expressed my sentiments so beautifully, so just know another person has heard, and is sending lots and lots of love to you both xoxoxoxoxo
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Post by mafixit on Jun 1, 2010 9:00:01 GMT -5
Purple- I am so sorry about your sister's cancer, your words carry a lot of weight.. thank you for taking the time to write such a heartfelt post. thinking of 3G during this difficult time, lots of good thoughts and prayers being sent your way.
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Post by phoenixcat on Jun 1, 2010 9:59:34 GMT -5
Thank you Purple for the timely message. I spent quite a bit of last year working on my parents' home due to my dad's illness. I came back to my home with a resolve not to leave my stuff for someone to deal with. I joined this board shortly thereafter. Although I have made some progress, I've become less and less motivated over the last month or so. I needed to hear this now - it reminded me of why I joined this board in the first place. My thoughts and sympathy are with you and 3G at this time.   May you find peace. PC |
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Post by Pig in the City on Jun 1, 2010 11:15:36 GMT -5
Purple, I'm so sorry. Could you please let 3G know that I love and appreciate her? And I appreciate the words and am saving them as 1) a post-it on my computer and 2) taping them inside my medicine cabinet where I'll read them every morning. Love and hugs to you both.
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