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Post by blossoming on Jun 8, 2010 9:49:33 GMT -5
like tends to attract like. so sometimes who ever has the more obvious problem, or is more open and honest about it, can get scapegoated as the only one with the problem. so, your changingi probably messes with his head too because now he's faced with the fact that he wants to keep stuff. work on your areas and common areas first. leave his lair for later,  . in the meantime, practice saying specifics about how much better it feels around the house, lighter, fresher, airier, etc. also, what good things will coem out of it....like, now you have room to finally xyz. or, with the money from the garage sale, you can finally buy xyz. or, now that you've donated those old clothes, those poor people on mars have finally gotten that seventies orange afro wig they always wanted, or whatever. focus not so much on letting go as in letting new things in. oh, and then tie him outside somewehre safe and torch everything.  |
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Post by breakingfree on Jun 8, 2010 14:31:08 GMT -5
I think sometimes when we see the "light" we want others to see it too. And we think, "It is so OBVIOUS! Why can't they see it too?" I know I used to be very defensive about my stuff. I still am a little. Going through those totes I found not very long ago (still don't know how they got there as I could have SWORN I got rid of that stuff...) was painful. But, as my SO says to me, look at Kroger or Walmart or wherever as storage. Then, when you need it, you pay the retrieval fee and in the meantime have a lot more room. Good luck and keep on doing what you're doing and by doing that you are setting a good example and perhaps soon, bit by bit, he will follow.  BF |
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jun 9, 2010 20:58:44 GMT -5
You are HILARIOUS Blossoming!!!!!!!!
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Post by blossoming on Jun 10, 2010 10:51:05 GMT -5
re relatives or others who try to unload stuff. this was a downfall for me for quite some time. i would get things tidied up, then some cleanie person would decide i needed whatever junk they were throwing out. and would offer and offer and offer. i found i often had to say no no no over a period of a month or so. i went back and forth as to the motivation. sometimes, i think that they had emotional attachments to things and it was "safe" to give to me, so they thought, as i would hold onto it for them. so they were hoarders, too, just um, tidy more functional ones who knew how to farm out the actual storage of their stuff. . i don't take anything now from others unless i know exactly how i can use it right then. so, that cuts it down to about zero or plus one. |
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