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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jun 17, 2010 18:24:17 GMT -5
I haven't yet decided whether it's the worst thing that's happened, but getting demoted sure hurt.
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Post by downandout on Jun 17, 2010 18:28:20 GMT -5
wow MiSC im flabbergasted too what a horrible thing for someone to do to you. as a kid i was messy and i got yelled at plenty but never got a beating for it. i am so sorry you had to go thru that! so the worst? thats easy. we were evicted. what a horrible scary time that was. very very stressful. never want to go thru that again. thats why we have decided to go ahead and try to buy this place. we are supposed to go to the bank tomorrow and see if we can get pre-approved.
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815
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Post by hopehope on Jun 17, 2010 19:28:57 GMT -5
it's not the worst -- but it's a bad one I can contribute.
I woke one day and realized that the small finger on my hand -- the end section -- just -- drooped. was not connected. except by skin.
did not respond to mental directions -- to do anything.
it had gotten injured in the squalor before bed, I assume, and I hadn't even noticed.
I splinted it immediately with the base of a travel toothbrush -- which was at hand.
(there is the belief that all poisonous plants have their antidote growing very nearby.)
which turned out to have been exactly the right thing to do.
took a very very very long time to approximately heal.
still a little off....
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Post by gottaproblem on Jun 18, 2010 11:48:23 GMT -5
MISC: I am sorry for the child that you were and the bad time you had, I do truly understand. Though my situation never got nearly that bad. I think the worst thing is that my grandchildren have never been to my house. Their dad drove them by a couple of times when he was showing them where he had lived and gone to school. We always just do things elsewhere and mostly I visit their house. I always thought it was because it is easier for me to come to them, then for them to bundle up their children and come to me. The truth is, I have never asked them to come over. Years ago, before they had children, my daughter in law came and tried to help me declutter. Recently she suggested that I just call someone to come and clear it all out and I would feel so free and organized. It was hard to explain that I would like most of it gone, but I have to know what leaves. If it was cleared out, without my direction, I probably would have some kind of breakdown. Oh my goodness, I did not think this would turn into a therapy session.
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jun 18, 2010 11:53:41 GMT -5
gottaproblem, I know that feeling too. Not my grandparents, but a dear, dear friend who loves us all like we were her own kids and grandkids. She's always been there for us, helped us when we were low on funds to keep the kids in school and happily in karate and such, and yet, I can't invite her into my house.
I did finally break down and tell her about the show though, because I knew there was the possibility that she might see it on her own. She said she understood, and of course I felt absolutely no judgment from her, but it hurt like hell that I couldn't, and never could, and maybe never would, invite her in.
ETA Sorry -- I wrote grandparents but I meant grandchildren.
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Lochmess
New Member
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 55
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Post by Lochmess on Jun 18, 2010 14:59:32 GMT -5
I can't talk about it easily. I still feel very bitter and sad and angry against myself.
Three years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. A type of cancer which could have been very easily detected, and where prevention is fundamental.
Procrastination is what characterizes myself. Always. I didn't open my mail, I only did things when people around me would nag, I did procrastinate or forget about medical appointments, check ups, financial papers, whatever. I dont' know: maybe I didn't mind, I didn't want to know, and I would become immediately despondent when someone would remind me of some of my duties.
Bizarrely I began decluttering my house some months before being diagnosed: I just felt I had to get rid of as much as I could, particularly sentimental items, and to get my things almost in order. I think that has been the first time I wasn't procrastinating something.
...
Anyway, when last year I implemented a filing system for papers and documents and medical records, I discovered an unopened envelope: an appointment for a medical check up in a prevention campaign against this kind of cancer. From some years ago. I still have to deal with it. It is the only unopened envelope I've filed. I'm saving it, still unopened, as a constant reminder. Because my tendency to procrastinate is still there, intact.
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Post by Rory on Jun 18, 2010 15:39:28 GMT -5
Selected highlights include - breakup of relationship, financial and personal chaos, inability to run a business from home or otherwise, visit to bankruptcy court, visit to criminal court, and finally the fire twenty years ago this November.
When I wrote this I felt a bit flippent. Reading it I don't.
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Post by StuffNoMore on Jun 18, 2010 16:12:04 GMT -5
My worst horror was when I was bringing up alot of blood from my lungs and had to call 911. I just couldn't let anyone in the house due to being a Nurse and knowing all the Paramedics here. I had to crawl out to the ambulance to get onto the stretcher as I bled.
My excuse to them was I couldn't let them in because of Louie the Rottie for which they thanked me as they heard him going crazy in the house from the sounds of the fire truck. If only they knew the truth back then.
Now anyone can enter as the Animal Control Officer did come in a couple of months ago for that little dog I found in the driveway.
SNM
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jun 18, 2010 17:45:10 GMT -5
Oh! I forgot! I spent a day in the big house because of the stacked up mail I never checked!
"What are you in for?"
"Financial squalor, you?"
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Post by dtesposito on Jun 18, 2010 18:10:40 GMT -5
Rory, I felt the same way about my post.
Diane
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Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Jun 19, 2010 0:19:05 GMT -5
Still feel quite bad about this. Roomate was taking care of someone birds, while they were on vacation. Place was a pit. Had a gas leak or some such thing connected with the stove. Of course can't have someone come and fix it. Birds die. Big oops!
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Post by blessedapt on Jun 19, 2010 20:04:21 GMT -5
Misc, so sorry to hear what happened to you. I'm glad there's been some time behind it and you can move on.
I don't have just one thing....there are so many that I tend to roll them up into one biggie. Components include:
- loss of lots of money (in the 10s of thousands, at least, maybe more....because I lost things, didn't open important mail to deal with deadlines, didn't file claims, bought the same things over and over because I couldn't find or remember if I already had them, etc.)
- piles of shame;
- loads of anxiety just sitting in the mess, which led to:
- loss of peace of mind (something I treasure);
- social isolation
- things around here that I need someone to come in and fix and I'm not quite there yet. However, I have made an apptmt for next week, and that's it, they have to come in and I have to deal with it.
In other words, total chaos for many years. Paralyzation.
I've slowly been breaking from this state and will be free this year. Thanks to everyone here. THis board is a godsend.
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Post by serenitynow on Jun 19, 2010 23:48:17 GMT -5
Sad story DD, but I just wanted to say--beautifully written--you should send it in to a magazine! Diane I was thinking the same thing, Diane! serenitynow
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Post by onwardandupward on Jun 20, 2010 20:46:26 GMT -5
When I was a child, housework and yardwork were usually doled out as punishment. Sometimes, they were assigned just to be mean. For example, if there was a school dance....PROM for example, step dad would go outside with his chainsaw in the morning and cut branches on all the trees. We lived on 7 acres, and had tons of trees. Many were Mesquite, some were Palms and many were citrus trees. Mesquite and Palm branches are full of thorns. Once he was done with the chainsaw, StD would have my 2 sisters and I drag the branches to the road. He would also demand that we pull weeks in the yard, which was about 2 acres. The road was about a block away - we had a very long driveway. Typically, it was 95-100 degrees during Prom season.
So, on the day of prom, we would have to do manual labor for about 6 hours before getting ready for the dance. In my prom photos I have scratches on my arms and sunburn and look exhausted.
Still, that doesn't answer the question. I would have to say that the worst thing that has happened as a result of the mess I used to have in my home is that my kids had to live that way and couldn't invite friends over and had to keep a secret. They had to live with me being in fear of inspections and in fear of their father finding out and trying to take them away.
The anxiety and constant fear was the worst. But at the time, it wasn't enough to make me take care of the problem, which is something I will regret until the day I die. The only thing I can do now is to show them a better way and make my current apartment a sanctuary for them and a place that is clean and relaxing and where they can bring friends.
Maintenance is a great place to be and is so much easier to deal with than crisis mode. Loving my clean home.
Onward
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Post by messyLlundain on Jul 2, 2010 8:54:57 GMT -5
Missing out on family time - the squalor prevented me from having them here. Not being able to have friends here. Expensive - losing things and having to buy twice. Time wasting - losing things and having to look for them at the last minute, which has made me late. Fear and panic whenever the doorbell goes. Depression, self loathing, self disgust. The pain and inconvenience of this.
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