Hello folks! No More Fear is
moving . Saturday.
This is a good, happy change but I am stressed/anxious and acting sooo irritable this week.
The good news:
The old previously squalored (still a level 1-2) apartment, and the #&$%^@$ jerk of a landlord is soon to be a thing of the past. (I want to be like "In Your Face, Jerk!"
but I'm trying to reign it in.)
That old apartment has a lot (YEARS!) of negative emotions and energy tied up in it, connected with old relationships and stalking and such (interesting story) and I'm ready to be rid of it.
My kitties (2) will finally have more space, will have their mommy around more, and a new human (NMF's significant other). I know they miss me, as I've not really been living there much at all this year.
I'm "getting" a washer/dryer in the new unit, as well as a dishwasher. These 3 items will help SOOO much with the squaloring areas of laundry and dirty dishes. Huge renovated kitchen and somewhere to cook and decorate and indulge in my happy homemaker stuff. Central air, nice appliances. Cheaper, too.
I have a whole month to transfer items from the old place to the new (see under GAH! below) so I can move items and clean when convenient over there.
I've finally made a commitment to the long-suffering and unfailingly patient Mr. No More Fear, evidenced by the fact that we recently bought a couch and other furniture for the new shared place. This also means I am tossing some of my older, dirtier, cat-shredded items.
The bad news
Evil landlord is having me pay, basically, an extra month's rent. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that he's had like 5-6 units vacate this summer. But he's pointing out some lease loophole about notice having to have been received only on the first day of a previous calendar month and otherwise being jerky. Fine. Whatever. I've just got to pay him for August, too, but it's making me money-anxious and angry. Plus he's using prior emotional and money squalor stuff from years ago against me for spite. (I think. Or I'm being paranoid. Whatever.)
And
Mr. NMF's current roommate and best friend is a lovely human, but a serious
hoarder of "pretty, collectable, decorator things" & a little OCD . The square footage being freed in the new apartment by his leaving is just....amazing. Three square feet on every side and 8 feet high. Boxes are packed floor to ceiling. Literally. He's taking FOREVER to pack up all this CRAP (oops, sorry. his treasures.) He's moving into a good situation, and I'm happy for him, and with my own history I should be more tolerant. But I really have this voice in my head screaming "would you just finish packing up all this @#$%*@$ already and get the hell out of
MY HOUSE buddy!!! What are you DOING all day? Certainly not the dishes!"
There is so much left to be packed and the next few days are going to be intolerable over there. And those 2 boys (yes, boys,) can't seem to manage running the dishwasher. For two or three weeks I come "home" and there is not much apparent progress on the packing front and nowhere to sit and I'm stuck in Mr. NMF's little level 2 bedroom for privacy...and I AM GOING CRAZY.
Meanwhile I've been doing the lion's share of the dishes and cleaning and cooking and a bunch of laundry and my LIBERATED WOMAN cells are screaming at me..."Is this what being together is going to be like?? Cleaning the house, and drinking my red wine and watching cable tv while the man-child plays
freaking World of Warcraft [/i]
!!!!!
I've been really happy, generally, since things have gotten more serious, and our relationship is strong. But between the close living quarters, my temporary money pinch, the stress of the move, the big life changes, and my "negative self-talk tapes"...I'm at 9.9 on the irritability scale.
Thanks for the opportunity to VENT!
- No More Fear
P.S. And the best friend smokes. (I've quit, so I don't anymore.) The apartment is going to have to be scrubbed and cleaned and made to smell good AND my little ladies (cats) have to be moved over and acclimate to the new place. And there are tens of holes in the wall from where all the hanging treasures were, which I want to spackle and paint over. And the new sofa and entertainment center/TV stand is being delivered Saturday and um, there better be somewhere for the people to put those in the apartment....
